About this trip with co-workers?

[RottenTomatoes959]

A few weeks ago myself and a couple of friends from work agreed to do an activity, the activity is in another county so we're going to go down on the day and stay over that night to go out.

This trip is no secret and another two colleagues asked to join us on the trip just for the night out which is great!

The issue is now another colleague has decided she wants to come along aswell. This colleague can be lovely, but is very full on and every single work night out without fail, she drinks way too much way too fast and turns loud, bitch, aggressive (not to the point of violence but very in your face).

She was extremely rude at the Christmas party to a number of people and then shouted at me for asking her to calm down.
Every time.

None of us want to tell her not to come as that is mean but we know our entire night will be dominated by her and obviously with us being in a different city we can't just go home to avoid it.

On top of that the place we work is mostly 40-60 age range so the group of us that is going is pretty much all of the younger crowd so we'd hate to exclude her at the same time.

Would we be extremely unreasonable to ask her not come? Or even try have a very frank discussion about the situation

I used to have a friend like this. Going out with her was a nightmare, and it was impossible to predict if she would end up in a fight, or disappear home with a random bloke. It became so stressful that I ended up just seeing her for a night in. The final straw was one evening when she came round to mine for a few drinks, decided she wanted to go out, and left about 10pm, quite drunk. It turned out that she had heard my downstairs neighbors having a barbecue, invited herself to that, then ended up having sex with one of the guests. We are no longer friends, and thankfully I moved house not too long afterwards. Sober she was amazing, but under the influence she was just too much.

She definitely needs to be told. It may even put her off going and work to your advantage. Good luck with that conversation OP.

You've all done Dry January and found the benefits good so you are carrying on and have all agreed that nobody will be drinking alcohol, she can come if she guarantees that she will be not be drinking either?

every single work night out without fail, she drinks way too much way too fast and turns loud, bitch, aggressive (not to the point of violence but very in your face)

I think she needs to be talked to by a couple of you - perhaps you if you're more diplomatic and another woman who isn't as diplomatic. She really needs to know that her behaviour is bad enough for people to not want to socialise with her. I think she'll probably cry and blame everyone but won't go, if you do this.

Or you could say that she can come if she behaves herself, and that you will all walk away from her if she gets too drunk, and leave her to find her own way back to the hotel.

Urgh, this is a horrible situation. I don't think there's a solution that she xoujdnt twist to make you seen like the bad one - you tell her she can't come and you look unkind. You tell her what a dreadful drunk she is and you look unkind. I do see does she even know how badly she behaves when she's drunk? I wonder if one of you could film her if she does kick off and show it to her the next day. It might be the shock she needs. I'm all for giving people second chances but also it's a shame if a gatecrasher who can't handle get booze ruins a pre-planned night out for everyone else. Good luck OP x

As pp have suggested, a one to one conversation might not be the best way to go.
She is an adult who had to be told to apologise for her behaviour. That's not good.

For the sake of working relationships going forward, perhaps two of you could sit down with her and be fairly straight about your concerns.

I think also its not a good idea that only you take on this conversation as others may look to you to rein her in/ blame you if she behaves badly.