To hate weekends at the moment?

[mrsmaggiemistletoe]

I think I’m being a muppet and this is the place to be told as much.

DH and I have 3 kids, ages 4, 2 and 6 weeks. Every weekend since the baby arrived DH has taken the bigger two out to all their activities, parties etc and I am left home with baby. Which I suppose should be nice and relaxing BUT a) I want to spend time with my other kids, I see the 2yo a lot of course but not so much the 4yo, and when she is home it’s the high stress times of day (getting ready in the morning, tea time, getting them all ready for bed)
And b) if I’m at home all the house tasks basically fall to me, so it’s yet another day of the week when I’m in charge of cooking, laundry, tidying etc. DH would always say that he would do these things but realistically he won’t get round to them then I’ll feel even more annoyed with him.

Now I’ve written it down it all looks so stupid. Feel free to tell me it is

Can you swap? Can you take 1 child and take the baby with you?

I can understand. Can't you all go out for the activities now? We used to do a fair bit of divide and conquer but if you want to go, do so!

Can't you go with them all? (I'm assuming the 6 week old is breastfed which is why DH can't stay home with the little one?)

I think I'd get cabin fever! Are you BF or FF? If FF there's no reason you can't take the older 2 out and leave him with the baby (and a list of chores!) If BF, could you take the baby and 1 child to their activities? I found my youngest slept well in the hustle and bustle of parties etc. The older one was entertained and I could have a coffee or talk to a grown-up.

How many activities can a 4 and 2yo possibly have? He can't be out all day both days surely, you must have a fair chunk of the w/e together. I'd say a weekend with three very little ones is never gonna be fun unless that's really your thing (eg you have the makings of a childminder), so makes sense to divvy things up. No problem shifting the balance as you're adjusting to the arrival of no3. No reason you can't all go to the activities or take turns, and absolutely no reason to be tidying etc all the time, totally let that slide and do the bare minimum for now. But weekends in Jan can be tough even without a newborn and two young ones so there will be a certain amount of gritting teeth and getting through it. Or putting a boxset on and getting cosy...

Yes youngest is BF. 2yo won’t be separated from 4yo as he misses her so much in the week so if I took them, it would be all 3. Activities are outdoors which is a bit rubbish for feeding the baby - so many layers to get to my breasts! But to be honest I think you’re right AJP, we should just all go... house will be a total disaster if the damage from the week left unchecked though!

I know how you feel!
This is the way it worked when second dd came which I loved at first but then the novelty went !
Now baby is ten months and I do most of the weekend parties and activities and she stays home with the baby.
Can you bring baby and the child or all of them and she can stay home and do all the house things?

I would feel completely the same!
It’s lonely at home with a baby rap when it’s been the same all week, and the housework and four walls are relentless and depressing

Sack off the washing, all go together. In between feeds you can see to the bigger ones and assuming some activities are led by instructor etc you can have a cuppa and watch with DH and the baby.

Why is he going without you and DC3 anyway? Who decided you can’t go along too?

YANBU

Have you actually told your husband that you would like to spend time with the older ones?

Weekends are supposed to be a little but if fun for you too. Sounds like you need an open conversation with your DH about how you can reclaim a bit of time

pinkdelight 4yo has something Sat am and lunchtime so doesn’t make sense to come home in between. Normally the rest of the weekend would be all ours but weirdly enough Jan and Feb seem to be birthday season so there are at least 2 if not 3 parties every weekend these two months! Probably should’ve just declined some invitations.
Yes you’re right the time of year isn’t helping.

Yeah it’s my fault I’m not going. I think DH thinks he’s doing me a favour by giving me a bit of peace. I do need to have a proper chat with him. But also I’m always the one getting the kids ready (he just has no sense of time keeping) so it comes time to go and I’m still in my PJs, baby asleep in the sling on me, hustling them all out the door.