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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not see light at the end of the tunnel

10 replies

cabbage78 · 26/01/2019 00:11

Having a really really low moment tonight. Too many problems to go into. My DD 18 is at uni but has spent the week at home depressed and feels she has no friends and no one to go out with at uni.
This has flared up her ibs and it has been a long sad week.. but finally she was asked to go out to a bar on campus by a girl in her seminar..she spent the day getting ready and was so excited..inust spoke to her and it didn't go too well...she feels like this girl and everyone but already have friendship groups and she will never have one..this has knocked me for six. On top of this I got home from dropping her off at uni tonight to my abusive narcissist husband on a rant.. because obviously I dare not show too much concern for my own child..he is downstairs now slamming doors and sending me nasty texts.

OP posts:
Original poster
cabbage78 · 26/01/2019 00:15

I told him how down Iam and how hard the week has been..this just infuriates him even more though because he knows it is because I am concerned for someone other than him. He is the worst malignant narcissist I have ever even read about. He has no concern whatsoever for his own children. Infact he hates it when I help them. To top it all my best friend is dying of cancer and it's hard what in her decline. This again infuriates him.. although to everyone else he fakes concern.

OP posts:
Mummylife2018 · 26/01/2019 10:24

Oh op I'm so sorry. Please please leave him xx

Mummylife2018 · 26/01/2019 10:24

Are you ok? X

Mummylife2018 · 26/01/2019 10:25

I can't believe nobody else has commented on this thread... Or is my App playing up?

FullOfJellyBeans · 26/01/2019 10:27
Flowers

You need to care for yourself too OP. It sounds like the best way to do that would be to leave DH.

cheeseislife8 · 26/01/2019 10:29

You poor thing OP, what a shitty situation. You have my very first LTB Flowers

pandoraphile · 26/01/2019 10:52

Handhold op ThanksCake

Original poster
cabbage78 · 26/01/2019 17:37

I wish so much I could leave. I dream of it. Never having to see him or hear his voice again would be amazing. But I can't because I met him at 14 and left uni at 18 to have my son. He never wanted to work so now in my mid 40s I have no education or work experience
Iam trapped for now as I need him to continue to pay DDS uni accommodation. He will not pay anything if I leave. The children have already said when I leave they will have no contact with him.
I will have nothing..we are married but thehouse is in his name. I have nowhere to go and no money of my own. There is notmuch equity in the house. I have very low self-esteem and doubt anywhere would employ me.
He works away often and this is how I survive.

OP posts:
cheeseislife8 · 26/01/2019 19:34

Perhaps when they do leave home and go NC it'll be a good time to rethink. Handholding OP

lolaflores · 26/01/2019 19:41

You would be very surprised as to what you would be entitled to. I think if he has a pe soon you would have a claim against it.
A consultation with women's aid and a solicitor is in order..
This is mental abuse and group d's for divorce.
Divorce is the rest of your life being your own.
He has you beaten down. Find a starting point and take it from there. 1 step at a time.
Your daughter will have to find her feet some how. You can't do it for her. It's natural to feel a it unsure of yourself at uni.
I went to uni aged 30.
The 1st day I came home in tears as I never thought I'd make friends.
I did. It was fine. It I had to put myself out.
Leave this man. Tjere are ways out

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