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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be absolutely fuming

75 replies

HSBCD · 25/01/2019 23:27

Posting here for traffic

last month I posted about debit card fraud situation I was in. I had a new card delivered to me but I never received it and next thing I know someone had spent £500 of my money with the card, I managed to get the money back from the bank but it was a "you're not a victim anymore because we have refunded you so that's our job done" kind of thing. It was horrible because I just needed to know who it was, I have three flatmates who I still don't know that well

Anyway after a few weeks I decided it couldn't have been any of my flatmates, (or that's what I wanted to believe) I thought they'd have to be fucking brave to do it, convinced myself it had accidently been delivered to a neighbour who was a chancer or maybe even a dodgy postman. I even addressed a few letter to myself with stamps on and a parcel and left them by the front door as a sort of 'test' and nobody took them.

So tonight after I get in from work I pick up a few letters odo the floor and put them on the kitchen table, there was two for one of my flatmates, a sorry we missed you card (not mine) and a letter from my bank which I knew was coming and had no personal information because it was a duplicate letter, it was basically just about the case and I was told by my bank to just throw it away. Forgot to take it upstairs with me, hear one flatmate come in and he collects his post from the table, I come back downstairs for something and still see my letter and the sorry we missed you card still there, forgot to take it to bin it again, hear someone else come home, just now I've gone to go get the letter and it's fucking gone so I know exactly who it was now. They know about the situation because I messaged everybody when I decided it wasn't any of them. All I want to do right now is bang on their door and kick off, thinking of just sending a message to the whatsapp chat telling them my letter that was there an hour ago is now gone, honestly I don't know what to do, I'm mostly writing this to vent. Sorry about the terrible grammar I'm just so annoyed

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 25/01/2019 23:30

Go to the police?

Tobuyornot99 · 25/01/2019 23:30

How do you know he didn't just pick the letter with his own mail, that's a huge assumption you've made there.

Tink88 · 25/01/2019 23:32

Have you asked for it back?

Original poster
HSBCD · 25/01/2019 23:34

I know it wasn't the first flatmate that came home because he took his letters and left my letter and a royal mail sorry we missed you card still on the table. I forgot to take it with me and then heard my other flatmate come home and then thats when both my letter and the card were gone, bit hard to accidently take

OP posts:
Tobuyornot99 · 25/01/2019 23:35

Ask him for it back, judge his reaction

DangerMouse17 · 25/01/2019 23:37

Sorry but how does that prove they stole and used your debit card? Confused

Original poster
HSBCD · 25/01/2019 23:39

Why else would they take it? It was literally the only thing on the table other than the royal mail card which is a lot smaller and you can tell it's from my bank

OP posts:
Tobuyornot99 · 25/01/2019 23:42

If he's rocked in at 11pm on a Friday night he's probably pissed and picked it up with his missed parcel card. You'll have to let this go until the morning.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 25/01/2019 23:45

Sorry I can't see how this proves anything... Presumably he could just sy he picked it up in error....

I've genuinely done this before... I was the only Lloyd's bnk customer amongst my flatmates... I picked up the Lloyd's bank letter and opened it.. Only to find wasn't mine... But my flatmate's new bank account...

CrispbuttyNo1 · 25/01/2019 23:49

That’s rather a stretch of jumping to conclusions! They may have picked it up in error.

BlueSlipperSocks · 25/01/2019 23:54

Go and knock on his door and tell him he has picked your letter up, along with The Royal Mail card and that you'd like it back now please as its an important letter.

He may have just taken the mail off the table and put it on a table, or something, in his room, without looking at who it's addressed to.

Go and try now so you can sleep easy. If no reply knock early in the morning.

DawgLover · 26/01/2019 00:03

It does sound as though you've attempted multiple Columbo style efforts to uncover the thief, and have jumped to a conclusion before really having any evidence. Leaving the letter twice and checking after each flatmate doesn't sound accidental.

If you ask the flatmate for it back tomorrow and he returns it unopened, chances are he picked it up accidentally. If he doesn't return it/read the letter and hadn't returned it to you in the first instance then he would sound dodgy. Doesn't actually prove he stole your card though - so what are your plans if he has taken your letter?

PolkaDoting · 26/01/2019 00:07

Yeah, if you live in a flat share though you don’t just start picking up random letters do you? You check the name, cos chances are it’s not for you.

Original poster
HSBCD · 26/01/2019 00:07

Okay maybe I'm being sensitive I will ask her

OP posts:
Jupiter13 · 26/01/2019 00:09

Becareful..just ask if he has taken your mail by mistake..see his reaction. Good luck

grenadezombie · 26/01/2019 00:17

OMG how on earth does someone lifting a letter, which may have been accidental, bring you to conclude they stole your debit card Confused

Original poster
HSBCD · 26/01/2019 00:17

She said she hasn't seen it

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 26/01/2019 00:18

That speaks volumes.

snowball28 · 26/01/2019 00:22

Well if it was there after the first flatmate got home and mysteriously vanished after the second one got home and she’s sayinh she hasn’t got it then honestly I don’t think it’s that much of a reach that she could be the original thief.

Call the police tell them your suspicions and have them investigate from there, can you get a new bank card sent to a different address or ask to pick it up from the bank?

Original poster
HSBCD · 26/01/2019 00:22

But nobody took it accidently? She said she hasn't seen it. I've checked the bin, the floor just incase it had fallen. where else could it be?

and no just because someone took this letter doesn't prove they took my bank card but it certainly doesn't look good

OP posts:
Original poster
HSBCD · 26/01/2019 00:23

The first flat mate says he hasn't seen it either

OP posts:
Poloshot · 26/01/2019 00:24

Boot their fucking door in and ask for the letter back.

snowball28 · 26/01/2019 00:25

Well it didn’t grow legs . .

Far too coincidental for my liking I’m betting it’s her, the second flatmate.

Original poster
HSBCD · 26/01/2019 00:26

I already sorted out my bank card last month when it first happened, the letter this time was just something I needed to sign about the fraud case, it was a duplicate though so I actually don't need it

OP posts:
Ariela · 26/01/2019 00:27

Definitely arrange for your new card to be picked up from the bank.