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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog PTS unsupportive partner :(

55 replies

Notgotajarofglue · 25/01/2019 23:00

I had to have my dog put to sleep. Quite a shock as she was not old and her condition rapidly deteriorated. My partner refused to come with me to spend any time with her beforehand nevermind while she was PTS. I did it all alone. He said he was uncomfortable with the situation and didn't want to see her breathe her last breath. He was not in work that day. It was not exactly an experience I was hoping to go through, at least for another 10 years. Bittersweet to have been given the opportunity to spend those last moments with her. Some people don't get that chance so I was grateful and would not have missed it for the world. I spent 3 hours with her kissing and hugging and talking to her and she listened to every word, looked at me with sheer love but she knew what was coming and she spun to the door every time the vet came in to check on us, she was hoping it was him, I know it.
I'm having trouble getting over his stance though, fair enough if you're uncomfortable being there for the big moment but the lack of support for me as well as not wanting to see her one last time, i can't get over. I had to pull over on the way home as I couldn't see through my tears, i was distraught. He could've drove me there and home at the very least. I had to choose her casket and he's moaning about what I chose. He wanted to pack her things away an hour after I got back, I'm was not ready I just feel he's been totally heartless towards both the dog who loved him to bits and to me who needed his support more than anything. What if I had said the same as him? Poor little buggars life would have ended with none of her family around. Fwiw he has a history of not coming to things as a couple just because he doesn't fancy it.
AIBU to fucking hate him?

OP posts:
Matilda15 · 27/01/2019 00:23

I’m sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is to lose a pet,

Your partners actions are unbelievable! It’d be a deal breaker for me, the other examples are almost beyond belief. Being in a loving relationship is about supporting each other and in hard times sometimes you have to step up for each other and it doesn’t seem like he has.

I remember my first long term relationship, he had a rabbit that he’d had for years. His whole adult life, the time had come for the rabbit to be PTS and he just couldn’t be in the room so I went in and held her while it happened so that I could tell him she was ok and it hadn’t hurt her and that he knew she wasn’t alone. Because that’s what you do when you love someone.

purpleboy · 27/01/2019 00:43

I saw this post from a vet and after reading it couldn't agree more, and for the person who left their dog to die on their own..... there are no words for you..

Dog PTS unsupportive partner :(
purpleboy · 27/01/2019 00:44

So sorry for your loss op, it does get better with time Thanks

LagunaBubbles · 27/01/2019 00:54

I'm sorry for the loss of your dog OP. Your partner on the other hand, doesn't sound as if he would be a loss at all. Relationships are about the good and the bad. Supporting your partner. Whether they "need" to be there or not.

DustyMcDustbuster · 27/01/2019 01:02

In tears here. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. I have 2 dogs & 1 will be 11 this year. The mere thought of losing either one tears me apart. I’m sending hugs, cups of tea (or a wee drink) & lots of love BrewWineCake

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