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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel gutted...?

8 replies

Finla · 25/01/2019 21:58

My (D?)H left in June 2018. I have 2 DC, 8 and 18 months, the littlest is his daughter, I also have a son from a previous relationship. We would have been married 3 years. I won't go into the ins and outs of why he left but he's dragged me through hell emotionally over the last 6 months.

I looked after our daughter almost 100% since she was born. I've nurtured her and given her everything I have to give. He never did a night feed, wasn't really up for helping all the time when I went back to work. He's not a bad Father all the time but lacks consistency and in a nutshell I think struggles with family life and it's perceived mundane-ness.

Anyway... tomorrow is the first night I'm going to have to hand my baby girl over for him to take back to his house and have her overnight. I am gutted beyond gutted. She is my whole heart. I had my DS and had to get my head around him being away from me every so often but I thought I had a second chance with my DD, I thought my DH and I would be together forever. I thought we could share the joy of her and she would have a settled life, with one home and family that were all happy.

I am really unhappy. It feels like it's snapping my heart in two. To hand her over to him tomorrow is so so hard. She's So happy and settled in her routine at home, she does love him and is excited to see him but I don't think she's spent one night out of her own cot in her life. AIBU to feel this way? Just be honest, if I am then that's fine x

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 25/01/2019 22:00

YANBU at all Flowers

brizzledrizzle · 25/01/2019 22:00

YANBU, it's very hard but it does get easier.

Havana7 · 25/01/2019 22:06

OP although I am not in your situation I too have an 18 month old DD who is my everything and has never spent a night out of her cot or away from me so I can completely understand how you must be feeling. I think it is completely normal to feel this way. The only thing I can say is when my DD started nursery I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her but I slowly started to get used to it and now it has become normal for her to go so hopefully in time it will become easier x

SuziQ10 · 25/01/2019 22:19
Flowers
Finla · 25/01/2019 23:03

Thank you all Thanks

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 25/01/2019 23:07

My (D?)H left in June 2018. I have 2 DC, 8 and 18 months, the littlest is his daughter, I also have a son from a previous relationship

Do you have two children or three?

You are not being unreasonable at all!

Finla · 25/01/2019 23:11

I have two. An 8yr old DS and an 18 month old DD. Sorry if that wasn't clear

OP posts:
Wholovesorangesoda · 25/01/2019 23:14

Ni yanbu. I have a dd from a previous relationship and ttc my first with DF and hope this time we stay together and get to share our child together instead of apart, I'm sure that's what you meant too? Plus that's still so young,

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