Mentally unwell friend falsely reported for benefit fraud attempts suicide

[BumpyGalore]

My neighbour suffers with poor mental and physical health. She thinks some other neighbours and villagers have reported her receiving disability benefits. But despite reassurance of the DWP, GP and others, she took a near fatal overdose convinced others will think she is guilty as she looks ‘normal.’ She doesn’t leave the house now and is very unwell, it’s really sad. I know what these neighbours did out of jealousy and a disability car. She since returned her car when medication changes stopped her from legally driving. She often asks me if I know anything or did she imagine it all. Should I tell her? she trusts me or AIBU to keep the truth to myself and stay out of it.

How do you know it was the neighbours ?

Why would anyone be jealous of somebody that is so unwell and disabled that they need to claim benefits and get state assistance, why would this trigger an envy and angry response rather than a sympathetic and helpful one. I fucking hate people!
Your poor friend.

Don't tell her. The way she is at the moment it could make things worse and possibly put her life at risk again. I would however be having words with the neighbours.
Is she getting help?

Neighbours and I have mutual friends and we are in a very gossipy area. No I don’t think I’ll tell her. Just needed to share as such an awful time for her / us. We think the complaint was over jealously about money received, especially seeing brand new car in driveway when theirs is old and dented. I think lot of ignorance not knowing full facts of her disabilities and circumstances she’d not opened up about to anyone here.

How does the village know what benefits she receives? She must have told them. Irrelevant but discussing finances with strangers is never appropriate.

There's still such a stigma with mental illness, despite the campaigns and hard work done. And that's doubled when benefits come into it, people who might have been sympathetic and realise that mental illness isn't overcome by pulling yourself together suddenly get all dismissive if they think someone with a mental illness is getting benefits for being to ill to work.
I've had it, and I was getting SSP yet I got called a skiver for being off work and being seen in a shop, ya know, living it up topping my gas and electric up 🙄

Have you spoken up on her behalf with these gossips?

She asks you if she imagined it?

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to validate that it did happen, it wasn't imagined, she's not going mad, and you think it was abhorrent. I.e. Don't just tell her yes and leave it there, tell her what you told us about how awful you think it was.

Otherwise in a way you're contributing to her isolation and the spiral she's in.

It sounds like she might be tormenting herself about it. For somebody already unwell, not knowing whether you can trust your own mind can make things worse. Having somebody validate it was real, it did happen, it was wrong, and other people see it that way (I.e. It's not the whole world against her or the whole world that is filled with vile people) could actually be helpful.

It might make her feel less helpless and alone.

The next time it comes up you could always initiate conversation with her to find out her views on wheth she thinks it would help to know or not know, etc.

She doesn't need to have told anybody for people to have assumed about "benefits". People do it all the time - just look at the regular posts from people on here working themselves into a hateful, jealous, ignorant frenzy.

Well I hope them snitching gossips are pleased with themselves.
Do they not actually have a life.
I hope this poor women recovers from her awful ordeal.

The clipe will be someone close or was close to her, an ex of sorts, ex friend, someone she’s pissed off in the past she was close to or worse a friend.
Either way it’s nobodies business what she gets, how much she gets or even the car she gets.
Some people have to much time on their hands to interfere in someone else’s buisness, and only happy at someone else’s misery. I hope they feel pretty chuffed with themselves the misery they have caused your friend.

Yes you are all right, it is terrible and I haven’t wanted to get involved. But having it validated should help her. When she talks about she cries, so I’ve not brought it up myself first incase she gets worse. It’s kind of like the damage has been done and she feels condemned and guilty now, she stays indoors with curtains closed usually too worried to be seen outside because of what others may think. I have said that people are busy with their own lives and it will all blow over. I don’t think anything will change her mind, or
not for a very long time. She’s a kind person who just wanted to be accepted. If only people could just stop and think about the damage done by false accusations .

Violating the privacy and confidentiality is not an excuse to abuse and gossip about a vulnerabke adult. Your victim blaming is also a form of abuse.