AIBU to think people should just text?

[thebeesknees123]

First world problem alert !
Most people who want to contact me, send a quick text. It is usually to make arrangements for something or ask a question. If we want a chat, we'll meet for coffee or something.

However, I have a few family members who ring then ring repeatedly if I don't answer, leave no message then get annoyed I didn't pick up and then it's something like 'do I need to get milk on the way home' or 'are you free next Saturday?' I mean, do these warrant 47.missed calls?

Yesterday, I didn't pick up because I was sitting in the hairdressers chair and, well, you don't go'oh, excuse me, can you stop a minute while I take this call?' Quite often I'm driving or Im on the loo (just no).

Dh is the worst offender but my sister and bil are pretty bad too. She will leave long, rambling voicemails which I've forgotten buy the time I get to the end.

YANBU.

DDad does this. Just keeps calling and I'll be in a meeting or something and eventually will get worried that something has happened and excuse myself and it will to ask me if DS has gone to school ok 😑

I'll have 17 missed phone calls. I tell him to text or just call once - I will then see the missed call and call back but noooo....

You're too busy to return a call?

YANBU. I hate people phoning and I actually find it very intrusive, almost the equivalent of showing up unannounced at my house! I rarely pick up.

Messages are much easier to answer at your convenience, or immediately if it's urgent.

Sometimes, yes, I am

YANBU. DH is like this. He always rings and never sends a message/WhatsApp because apparently it 'takes too long'

2 things going on there - some people prefer to ring and that's fine. But to repeatedly ring isn't fine.

Unfortunately mobile phones means that some people assume you are always 'connected' and expect immediate responses.

I would block them

@OnlyFoolsnMothers what a daft comment. OP could be driving, at work, on the toilet, changing a nappy or doing a hundred and one other things that make it difficult to answer a call

YANBU! I feel exactly the same way. DH does that. Calls and then when no reply he waits a few minutes and calls again, then again..! I keep saying to him fgs just leave a message or they'll think there's an emergency (when they see 10 missed calls)!

I don't like receiving phone calls when I'm not expecting them. ProfessorCustard you are spot on!

Mil can’t text but if she calls and we don’t pick up it’s continual calling over and over. One night I was in the middle of something so I didn’t answer. She called 34 times in a row!

What drives me mad is when people (DM!) ring and then, when you don't answer, leave a message to say that they've rang! I've told her so many times that she doesn't have to leave a message as I can see that I have a missed call from her but she keeps doing it! Then when I have an actual important message it takes me ages to listen through all of her messages saying 'just thought I'd give you a ring...!'

CantWaitToRetire I didnt say "are you too busy to pick up a call"...i said "return a call".....it doesnt take that long to speak with someone.

this made me smile, its my dad all over, he also likes to leave voice mail messages which say" this is your dad calling you, I wanted to talk to you, can you call me, "when I do return call he's often forgotten what it was. or he will leave a message that says 'oh your not answering you must be busy i'll try your work number/home etc, its not urgent.' then i'll get more follow up messages like I tried your mobile no reply, can you call me its not urgent, 'I've tried work number they said you were at a meeting so ill try again later, but if you get call me its not urgent but I need to give you a message about x. ' ffs dad just leave me the message! hell also ring my dh my dd etc saying I cant get hold of too old, I rang work she's at a meeting so if you hear from her will you get me to ring me, my dh is now fully trained to say, about what ? as its often something like have I seen x is on sale in supermarket. I tried teach him to text but it didn't work as his texts read "ring me- dad "

Sometimes it is quicker and easier to text rather than get locked into a long conversation - as it is with family -so the answer to that is yes. If they want a chat, I would rather they arranged to meet up for coffee. I hate the phone as it always rings while I am running around doing stuff and I think they think Im just sitting in my chair ignoring them or they expect me to get out of the bath or pull over in the car

@Fluffyears, I think we have the same MIL. If my MIL has a missed call, she's apparently 'not able' to check it, so rings all the family back asking "My phone said missed call. Did you ring me?"

And the other thing is when I ring them back they don't answer and don't see the irony. Of course, if they're busy, it's different

I was just ranting about places, businesses mostly, that have a 'contact us by email' form and then when you fill it out, they ring you.

If I wanted to talk to you on the phone, I would have dialled the number myself. I don't want to talk to you, I want you to email me back.

I hate that, too

My DM leaves messages on my landline then texts me to tell me she has left a message to remind me to check it when i get home!

Toooldtocareanymore

businesses mostly, that have a 'contact us by email' form and then when you fill it out, they ring you.
This ^^. And when you actually specify in your message to them that you only want an email and NOT a call yet they call anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most phones have an option to send a text when a call isn't answered. Why not just do that?

If my phone rings and I don't want to or can't take the call, I will text (if I can) and ask what they want.

I think to some extent this is a generational thing.

My parents are virtually the only people who ever call our landline, and if I don't answer, they repeatedly call my mobile, eventually leaving a voicemail (which I've asked them not to do) saying they're worried about me! Sometimes I'm on the loo, or eating my dinner, or just otherwise busy.

It's the notion that since the age of mobiles, you can't ever be 'out'.

I also think tbat my parents generation have the idea that if someone tries to call you, there is an obligation to answer. They would never dream of ignoring their landline, even if eating, watching a film etc.

I love them to bits though!

YANBU, my exH does this and I have no idea why. He was fine at texting for all the years we were together, I think perhaps his GF monitors his phone and would kick off if he replied to my inane texts about the DC? I’m honestly not sure, it’s the only conclusion I’ve ever been able to concoct. I will send a quick text asking something and the reply would honestly take him ten seconds but he insists on calling me with an answer instead . If I don’t pick up he will keep calling until I do... I don’t really want to talk to him on the phone tbh.

YANBU. Though I have social anxiety.