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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it is hard being an adult stepchild (and think sod em all!)

3 replies

malificent7 · 25/01/2019 08:47

My dmum died 7 years ago . 5 months later my friend and i introduced our parents hoping they could be mates and they fell in love . I wasn't expecting it and had very mixed feelings but ultimately was happy. My sis was furious woth him at first but has now accepted it.
I think the problem lies with my friend who is now sort of my step sister i guess. We have always had a competetive relationship.
Now i feel like my dad spends most of his time with his dp and my friend. Which would be fine but i feel pushedout. My dad and o have a tricky relationship and before our parents got together i could gave a moan.

Now she takes his side and apparently my dad loafs for me and i should be grateful. Which iam. But he helps her lots too. She dosnt drive so he drives her around. I dont mind but i feel they resent my dad helping me. Her partner has also told my dad im spoilt. In jest but it hurt. So every time my dad helps me im spoilt yet they can ask for as much help with sitting, driving etc.
They have my dad and her mum to help plus the other set of grandparents. I have my dad...sort of

Aibu to think...fuck em!

OP posts:
MotherOfDragons90 · 25/01/2019 09:47

Can you arrange a family meal or get together to ‘bring out your dead’ so to speak?

I was an ‘older’ stepchild and my dad expected far more of me than of my new siblings (my stepmom is lovely but quite a soft parent) and resentment built up. It was tricky because I wasn’t familiar enough with them to say how I felt as I would with my bio family but it turns out it was what we all needed and now we all rub along just fine and are all quite open with one another.

Flowers for you

Yearofthemum · 25/01/2019 09:48

Tell them exactly what you said at the end of your post.

beansontoastfortea · 25/01/2019 20:23

I feel for you op... that sounds really hard to deal with.

If I were you I wouldn't start by letting them know how you feel other than to tell your dad you're missing him and I'd try and make some arrangements just for you and your dad to spend some time together... I really wouldn't let them know how you feel about them or make it about them in any way.

If you want to see your dad more try and make it happen and then if he's avoidant that's a different story

It may feel that he's distracted with them & maybe he is doing more with them but remember that you are his daughter and he loves you still just the same as he did

Anything he's doing now for your friend is only to please his new DP but that doesn't change his feelings for you

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