Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want sex to go back to how it was before kids?

3 replies

MissMacaron · 25/01/2019 07:48

DH and I started as FWB and then somewhere along the way I realised he was the kindest man I'd ever met and we ended up in a relationship, got married, yadda yadda yadda. Sex has always been important to us, we make time for it whenever we can and it's always good. But I've noticed increasingly since we've had kids I can't switch off while we're having sex the way I used to. Is this normal?! DC are 4 and 2 but it's become really noticeable in the last few months.

For example, last night we did the deed. Without going into unnecessary depth while people are eating their breakfasts, we both enjoyed it but while it was going on random thoughts came into my head including:

  • Needing to put DD's school trip money in her book bag for this morning
  • Wondering whether I'd locked the back door
  • An urgent email I needed to send for work that I hadn't had time to
  • Whether it was normal to be thinking about these random things during sex and if I should put a thread on MN to ask [this was the point I started to worry!]

I think I'm (mostly!) being lighthearted but does anyone else have this? It was bad enough when we went through the 'was that the baby monitor kicking in?' phase but this just seems a bit mad. Clearly DH and I just need some uninterrupted time away - we've done a couple of sneaky days off at home while the DC are at school/nursery and it was WAY better on the random thoughts score! I don't think it's a mental load thing either as DH pulls his own weight pretty well all things considered (although all school admin and random letters are mine ;))

OP posts:
sollyfromsurrey · 25/01/2019 07:53

Of course it's normal. It's called 'having responsibilities'. Sometimes you need to have a wee drink and a night away to be able to blank out those thoughts!

DroningOn · 25/01/2019 07:57

Definitely takes well into primary years before it's back to anything like the good old days.

Problem is, by then a night sitting dozing on the sofa in your jammies watching TV is preferable to it!

20s were your sex glory years, it's mostly downhill from there.

MissMacaron · 25/01/2019 10:51

This makes me feel reassured I’m not the only one (I ended up feeling a bit guilty last night that I wasn’t more ‘in the moment’) but also a bit depressed!

Still, when we’re bemoaning they’re not cute and little any more at least it’ll be a side benefit of that which might help put a spring in my step until the menopause hits anyway...

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page