To turn here to air this

[JacobeanWilson]

A couple of months ago I noticed a soft bulge under my armpit. No detectable lump on feeling it. No significant pain. Christmas approaching, I put it to the back of my mind, told myself not to be neurotic, that it was probably a weird fat pocket (mid 40's).

Yesterday I decided it was nagging at my mind still so I should get it looked at. Amazingly I got an appointment for first thing today.

Gp had a feel & found a 'moveable lump with smooth edges'. Gp said her instinct was it wasn't sinister & not to worry but she'd refer me to an urgent screening clinic. 2 wk max wait for appointment but saud I'd prob get a call in the next couple of days to go in.

Since my Gp appointment this morning I've realised I've had an aching shoulder on the same side for about the same time (saw a different Gp at the practice about that back then who said probably nothing but possible early arthritis). Now I wonder if they're connected.

I feel in freefall. I am a L.P. with zero support. Worse actually, some family are still in our lives but only bring stress I have to endure to get access to my mum who has dementia (they control every aspect of her life & if I don't do what / behave how they want they make it v difficult for me & my DC to see my mum; I don't live in the same town).

It's my DCs birthdays in the next 2 weeks. I was already up to my eyes in prep for multiple celebrations, gift buying, cakes, decs, parties.

I want to stop time & just cry for the foreseeable. I juggle life on my own, but we are completely vulnerable when I'm not firing on all cylinders, there is no one to pick up any slack. My closest friends are different towns & busy with their own families.

I just needed to tell someone. I hope it's going to help me get my thoughts straight. I've read up about what happens at screening so that's not a worry as such, although things I've read say you have to wait 2 weeks after screening for the results but I did want to ask if that's standard or if they will give you an informal opinion before leaving the appointment? The main thing is the realisation of how vulnerable my little family unit is & wtf will happen to us if the worst path presents itself. How would we cope. What would happen to me & my children. How bloody unfair life can be, after years of sh!te in other areas of life I was always most grateful for mine & my childrens health. Today I feel like I may not even have that.

Sorry for self pitying. I have no one to talk to, to begin to get this situation in to perspective. I need to give my kids happy birthday memories & not fall apart. Any strategies would be welcomed.

My husband got a lump that was smooth under his nipple a year ago. (He’s v slim and doesn’t have man boobs, which made it even more obvious) He went to the doctors and they said initial thoughts are it’s nothing sinister but they would refer him. He got a letter saying he had been urgently referred and we panicked. I read so much stuff online about the diameter and what that means etc etc, we had a week of sleepless nights before the appointment. When we went the doctor scanned him and said very definitely that it wasn’t the C word, and he wasn’t worried at all. The relief was unreal.

Hopefully it’s the same result for you. I can’t offer much advice apart from just to let you know it’s normal to worry and think the worst. You just have to get through it.

Fingers crossed for you xx

It's not self pity. We all have moments like this and you are feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. I don't have any specific advice, but sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

I know it's easy to say, but try not to Google or panic. Wait for the tests and results, as it's most likely nothing sinister.

I wish you all the best and will hope that everything's fine.

Your doctor is doing their job. The 2 week urgent referral is more about about prioritising rather than it being an emergency. Your GP just wants to double check what they think. If they don't think it's scary, it probably isn't.

They won't tell you anything on the day. The people who do the scans aren't the people who read them or feedback. They should tell you when and how to expect the results though.

Go and have a good cry. You will feel better getting it out. Your GP surgery will have details of counselling services or support groups if you want them.

Chances are it's nothing so try to remember that. X

Your doctor wouldn’t say they don’t think it’s anything to worry about unless they genuinely believe that, they’re not afraid to tell you they think it’s sinister if they do.

Try not to worry. I know how you feel though, I had a similar scare but it went down. I tell you though my anxiety over it made it a million times worse and gave me pain that didn’t even exist

You probably have a lipoma or cyst. Any big lump can also cause small changes in your posture which can cause pain.

I know it’s hard not to worry, but strange lumps are very often no big deal.

I went with a strange shaped mole on a friday and was referred. My appointment was the following tuesday which seemed so soon! I remember sitting there on the saturday and just suddenly feeling desperate with this ridiculous fear I wouldn't see christmas with my kids. They did a biopsy and it was nothing to worry about.

They refer thousands of people and most are fine. Even if God forbid they find anything they will hopefully be able to treat it. It's normal to feel how you feel but the most likely outcome is that it's nothing to worry about.

I was referred for a bulgy lump in my armpit. GP tried antibiotics and then put me on the two week pathway when it didn't improve.
Massive fuck up meant it took 4 months and a couple of recalls but eventually it turned out to be excess breast tissue. Could do with a bit more in the right place rather than nestling in my armpit!
Hope it's as boring for you

Moveable is good for a lump! I know exactly how you feel because I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year (my lump was completely unmoveable)

At my hospital appointment they told me then and there that it was a 5/5 possibility of cancer but I still had to wait for the definite biopsy results. During this time I felt a lump in my neck and had a proper breakdown. That turned out to be nothing.

I would go against the grain of posters saying try not to worry. You will worry, it might send you a bit crackers. Go with it, give yourself time and space to feel scared and worried. Be logical though and remind yourself that the chances of it being cancer are slim, the GP didn’t think so and most referrals go through them so they will have seen their fair share.

It could be a lipoma or cyst. If it's mobile that's a good sign. Under the arm there are a lot of nerves etc, the cyst/lipoma could be pressing on a nerve.

A year ago I found a lump in my armpit - also soft and moveable. Got referred to the breast clinic on an urgent referral and although the waiting list was supposed to be 3 weeks max it was more like 5 due to an overstretched service at my local hospital. Those 5 weeks were the longest weeks of my life - I was convinced it was cancer and really struggled with the wait. However eventually got my appointment and got ultrasounds and biopsies done in the same day and it turned out to be a fibrodeneoma which is a type of harmless benign breast lump (there is breast tissue in the armpit). While obviously our situations might not be the same, I thought it might be helpful to share as I know during that waiting period I was desperate to hear some similar stories that turned out to be positive, to give me some hope. As impossible as it is, try to not think too much about the appointment while you wait, try to put it to the back of your mind. Good luck xx

It's not self pity. It's a hard realisation of your own immortality, and your' importance within your' family.

As other posters have said, it's more than likely nothing to worry about, but your' reaction is perfectly normal, and so are the feelings you are having.

Be kind to yourself. Sending love

Thanks all, lots of things I'd like to respond to but I'm struggling to focus on anything. I feel in a daze today.

Hospital rang, I have my screening booked in for just under 2 weeks, plus on waiting list for a cancellation. They said I'll get an ultrasound, mammogram & biopsy if the consultant thinks it's needed all at that appointment. Mtg with the consultant after & either discharge or follow up treatment planned immediately so no wait for results (aside from biopsy if taken but consultant will be able to give me a guide).

How lucky we are to have the NHS.

I don't feel much better & it's going to be a long wait with happy face plastered on for my DCs birthdays but relief at having an appt booked & possibility of cancellation to see someone earlier is positive.

Like a PP said, since my GP appt yesterday I have noticed aching all over the area. Not sure if it's in my head or real but it's a constant reminder. Feel quite low & alone. Stark realisation how little support we have & how hard it is to access that we could have (distance, commitments due to work / school for them & us etc). Taken comfort in others experiences though. I'm not the first to go through this.

Off to distract myself for a while longer with party shopping for DC1, I'll just cry if I think about it.