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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Waiting for a diagnosis for ADHD

14 replies

Magenta46 · 24/01/2019 23:11

As a middle aged woman I have often thought there must be a reason why I have not met the milestones that most people have a achieved by their early twenties.
My neighbor invited me over for coffee ; I've know her for over 20 years, since she was a child. She asked me if I'd ever been tested for ADHD as she knows I have a history of depression and anxiety.
I told her that perhaps 30 or 40 years ago I would have most definitely fit the criteria for ADHD but as I'm an adult I can't possibly have it.
She gave me a questionnaire and I scored high on the ADHD scale. I gave copies to my my mother and two close friends, who's answers were almost Identical.
Googling ADHD I see it 99 % me. Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
Seline · 24/01/2019 23:15

GP. They may try to refuse to refer you but point out that as they aren't psychiatrists they arent qualified to make that call.

I have ADHD. Diagnosed in my twenties, struggled my entire childhood and teenage years because if it. Flowers

Magenta46 · 24/01/2019 23:23

I saw my GP today after waiting 8 months to hear from initial referral. He did listen to me but told me ADHD in adults is rarely talked about. I was tearful when I called the surgery ,hence the quick appointment. I'm as intelligent as my siblings who both have doctorates . I just have a problem organizing my thoughts and actions.

OP posts:
AbsentmindedWoman · 24/01/2019 23:28

What kind of milestones do you mean, OP?

It is really hard, hope you get somewhere Flowers

Magenta46 · 24/01/2019 23:40

Relationships, careers.I get so far then it all comes crashing down at my feet,

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BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 24/01/2019 23:46

Hi, OP.
I was diagnosed out of the blue about four and a half years ago.
ADHD isn't something only kids have, not is it something only bad kids have, or just boys.
It's more often diagnosed in women much later because we tend to hold ourselves together when we are younger but as the demands of grown up life become apparent, we start to show we struggle. Boys struggle earlier but tend to get more of a grip on things as they get older.
See your GP. Explain you were queried as to possibly having ADHD by someone who has known you your entire life and who has seen your progression of lack there of, and that reading up on it has made you feel it could be you, and that you also did an online test so please could they refer you to the psychiatrist (or ADHD team of that's what you have locally) so you can talk it through with a professional in case you qualify through a diagnosis for medication and therapy to help you get on with your life.
Good luck. And it's not the end of the world. X

Magenta46 · 24/01/2019 23:56

My neighbour is a psychiatric nurse. I didnt know she was a specialist in adult adhd. Im hoping I have it. It would answer so many questions and hopefully give me a new lease of life.

OP posts:
BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 24/01/2019 23:57

It was a massive relief for me, to know. After a mini rollercoaster of emotions.
A diagnosis means being steered towards the right advice for helping you to help yourself.

ABitExcessive · 24/01/2019 23:58

There's a two year waiting list in my area, and that's to see somebody who was (in my GPs words) 'less qualified than me' - I've only got an undergrad degree in psychology and worked as a MH support worker for a few years. He recommended I go private (as I was really struggling with my studies and wanted to start treatment quickly - had done a ton of research and was pretty certain I had it; was like a lightbulb reading about it tbh, explained so much).

I scraped together some money and paid I think around £400 for an online consultation with a Cambridge educated consultant psychiatrist. This included the private prescription which was around £70 IIRC. He was fab. Paid for an hour but carried on chatting to me about my dissertation for a good 10 minutes after, just cause he was interested. Told me about his set up (put the kids to bed, then do the private consults), and as the field is an aspiration of mine, said to get in touch any time if he could help me out once fully qualified.

All in all, I was really happy with it. Did the titration of medication over a month; he said everyone always got a second private script off him but I said how skint I was and how I was over the moon with the treatment and had negligible side effects. So he was happy to pass my care back to the GP, who after a v quick phone call added it to my repeats.

I think there is little in the way of NHS counselling/ coaching for ADHD - though its big in the US. Medication is highly effective though. Significantly more effective than for the majority of mental illnesses (of which ADHD is not, but just for comparison - it's interesting to compare the stats in which medication improves depression vs ADHD for example). And it starts working from day 1. Changed my life. I'll always have some regret thinking about what I could have achieved if I got diagnosed as a kid. But I'm going back to uni to do my masters this year, and I can't wait to see how I'll fare now I'm on an even playing field to others!

I'm a better parent, a better driver, I get shit done, I'm more motivated, happier, can think clearer, can prioritise better. It hasn't cured all my quirks - I can still procrastinate for England, I'm still absent minded, easily distracted etc. But I'm thousands of times better than I was prior to diagnosis.

Seline · 25/01/2019 00:01

It changed my life too. Concerta is amazing. I asked my husband if he noticed a difference and he said "yeah you're nicer". When I asked him what he meant he said I didn't get overwhelmed and start yelling/panicking/stressing and seemed to have it together more and be more organised. Which is how I felt it improved me too.

originalShapes · 25/01/2019 02:26

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PeanutButterLips · 25/01/2019 02:39

I believe my partner has it and has made our decade together a big struggle.
He is very impulsive, life is chaotic with him. Also our son who is 10 this year was diagnosed over a year back and is on Concerta xl.
I looked up the adult ADHD NHS page and my partner said 'wow seems like I'm gonna have to go see the doctor ' he still hasn't gone and some days he argues with me that he doesn't think he has it.
I do wonder how our life would be if he had got it and was medicated. I'm sure it would be so much better as a lot of the 'ADHD' signs ruin us. But he won't go to the GP.

3luckystars · 25/01/2019 02:40

I understood she meant that the GP isnt qualified to refuse to refer.

I think I have it too, it certainly would explain a lot.

originalShapes · 25/01/2019 02:44

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Magenta46 · 26/01/2019 18:24

Thank you to everyone who replied. I'm quite confident that the latest doctor I saw actually listened to me and took my case seriously. If I do get an ADHD diagnosis it will be a huge relief and I will know I'm not stupid . I am really good when it comes to looking outside the box. I excel in group discussions. I just cant put anything together when it comes to the planning stage.

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