Bullying in the work place

[MissSBluebell]

I’ve name changed, for obvious reasons.

I’m so scared right now. I also apologise because this isn’t so much AIBU, more, WWYD?

There is a clash of personalities between myself and the person at work directly above me.

I am hard working, dedicated, the kind of model employee who is never late, works over without thanks, praise, etc. I earn a disgustingly low wage for what I do, but I love my work - My work, not company.

Which brings me to my point.

I’ve been in my jobs years longer than said person above - Who is lazy, careless with time keeping and appearance and causes more harm than good (it’s the people on the shop floor who keep it going). They are back stabbing and manipulative, it’s a well known fact, but they also have the ability to twist things.

Out of the blue, senior management have issued me with a formal warning today. Completely ridiculous issues, made up out of thin air, but I have a set time period to improve my “performance” or else!

Please understand that I give my job my all but I feel I’m being dragged into something malicious purely because I’ve previously stood up to the person above (Not in an aggressive way, just attempted to find a middle ground).

I keep a log which no one knows about detailing all the work I do and all the failures of the other person.

I’m tempted to approach HR but I’m worried I’ll make matters worse.

I genuinely can’t do anymore than I already do but I think I’m being set up to fail.

If I lose my job I’ll lose my home, I rely on my wage, but the nature of my job is what I love, it’s why I get out of bed in the morning.

This is all so unfair and I have no idea how to correct things.

I don't know if you can just be handed a formal warning, look up ACAS and see what the correct procedure is. Are you in a union.

How long has this person been managing you?

Do you have a contract, staff handbook, or any HR policies. You can’t normally be given a formal warning without verbal first and opportunity to improve. Do you have a HR department you could speak to?

Go to hr!

What is their disciplinary policy?

Have they given you a proper performance improvement plan? Ie agreed with you, SMART objectives and so on.

It it’s a formal warning I think you should get hr involved and share your info

No union, there was some talk months back about a few of us joining but things seemed to get a little better which is why this has come out of the blue. Only now I realise, it’s been one side of this person to me and another behind my back.

The person above has been in their role a few years, the people above them I’ve known all my time at the company.

I’ve been sick tonight, not just with fear but hurt too. I thought I was more respected than this.

What was listed on their list of things to improve? Can you evidence their mistake?

Petty things that I can not possibly improve on. Targets, volumes which are impossible. Like they have been put out of my reach deliberately.

I asked for help on how I can improve, they actually replied “that is your problem”.

Definitely get HR involved, and get a copy of your warning/grievance policies - this doesn’t sound above board

Can you request a meeting with HR and explain that your performance is good and that the manager is doing this because she has an axe to grind.

Do you have a record of your last performance review or 1 to 1?

If You can look at your performance plan objectively and genuingely say it is unachievable then it isn't fit for purpose and won't stand up.

I would call ACAS.

I agree with posters above, that you should review procedure to see whether your employer has followed due process. However, I can see that this doesn't fix your long-term problem which is that you directly report to someone who seemingly has it against you.

If I were you I would be updating my CV and having conversations with recruiters. Move quickly - but make a good move. Don't hang about to see how this works out. I would however set the record straight - you have a reputation to maintain.

Alternatively, you stay and fight your corner. Keeping a log was clever. However, this matter isn't really going to be resolved without one of you no longer working there. I'm not sure I would want the stress of it, and your workplace sounds toxic anyway.

Sometimes making the decision to move on is all it takes to feel better.

I know it sounds terrifying to go to HR.. but that is your only option now. Please go to them and tell them exactly everything that you have said here. It's your only way to gain any sort of control for the future. Please go and see them and be honest.

I feel like going to HR is fast becoming my only option.

Work is awful today, I’m paranoid about everything I’m doing and worrying about what I’m saying to people - I have done nothing wrong, I am the kind of person who if I make a mistake, no one makes me feel worse about it than I do!

I look at what other employees are like and what they get away with - But because they get on with the Bully they get away with it!

My log is being kept up to date and I just hope that if this continues, HR step up and help - Just worried they’re there more for the company, not the employees.

I've seen similar situations from all sides during my career.

You should start job hunting straightaway as very depressingly these situations are not easily resolved especially when the perpetrators are more senior. I agree you should discuss this with HR, but HR is not your friend really, its function is to stop the organisation being taken to a tribunal and to ensure adherence to overall policies. Clever bullies will ensure that their actions fly just beneath the radar so that they are not in breach of any official policy, and it will become your word against theirs and impossible situations will be reduced to 'personality differences' and so on and they will feign innocence.

Raising a grievance is in theory an option but these are incredibly stressful and Iongwinded and the other side will fight its corner and argue that black is white. And you have to continue working in that atmosphere.

It's shit.

Look for another job.

Good luck.

@OhPleaseMakeMeACuppa You have hit the nail on the head exactly.

I’m enveloping CVs as I type this