What does ‘almost dying’ mean?

[thenamethieff]

I often read on here people who ‘almost died’ and wonder what it means. What is the measure of almost dying. Are you aware of a moment before death, before not actually dying?

I had a PPH after a very relaxed, textbook birth in the lovely MLU - and was taken to surgery where I counted 11 members of staff in the room (they gave me a spinal so was conscious). I wasn't feeling well at all but don't feel I 'almost died' as they were so calm despite the urgency. After surgery I was on the ward for a few days and was speaking to a lady who had to go to ITU before the ward and she really did almost die.

My dad too almost died, he had peritonitis, but we didn’t know this at the time. The ambulance came, and I was doing dads resps in the back as the ambulance was trying to figure out how to get out of where we lived as we had a few feet of snow. We arrived at A&E, whisked him away, then a nurse came and told me that he had gone straight for emergency surgery. He pulled through the surgery and was transferred to intensive care, where his Dr told me that it was unlikely he would survive the night. 3 weeks in internsive care and 6 weeks on the ward before he came home.

It’s been several years since, but he’s a shadow of his former self. I remember though crying when he was moved to the ward, as I felt he was so safe in intensive care, the nurses and doctors were amazing. But when he was on the ward, he’d refuse meds and they’d say fine and walk away, and I would look in his MARS charts and find halapeladol (wrong spelling) hadn’t been given for example, it was so hard.

Like several PPs this happened immediately after my DD was born. I remember starting to feel very strange, handed the baby to DH and heard the midwife saying that either the blood pressure meter was broken or it was to low to measure. I closed my eyes and could hear people shouting at me but couldn't respond. I felt really calm and peaceful, in a warm, dark place.

Apparently the drip that was meant to be giving me fluids wasn't working, according to DH the rugby playing registrar grabbed the bag and squeezed it, the bruising on my hand was a sight to see but it helped because I'm still here.

What I remember most clearly is the feeling of calm, I would say even serenity.

Similar to @MyBreadIsEggy I also bled out internally.

Everything got very calm, I felt warm and peaceful and just wanted to drift off to sleep. People kept waking me to check me and to try and persuade me to have another operation. I kept saying I just wanted to sleep. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, they were having to get rough to wake me. My Dad told me if I didn't sign the consent form now, he would as my next of kin on an emergency basis. I couldn't even stay conscious to sign my full signature, the last thing j remember is losing control of the pen and drawing a big black line on the form.

When I came around I'd had 8 units of blood pumped into me and the arterial bleed that had been caused by (and missed!) in my previous surgery that had been killing me had been repaired.

When asked if he hadn't have operated when he did, what would have happened, the surgeon told me it had been a matter of hours, and I wouldn't have lasted until the morning.

In our small-town hospital, I became a bit of a minor celebrity. The nurse's that cared for me over the next few weeks claimed bragging rights.

My DS nearly died before he was even born which I found very hard to wrap my head around. This is based on information from the consultant at the time, he was very dangerously ill in utero with no blood supply going from the placenta and had to be delivered by section. Certainly if it hadn't been handled as an emergency situation then his heart would have given out fairly soon.

I regularly see people on here post that they and their baby 'nearly' died in childbirth - however thankfully it is incredibly rare for women in the uk to die from a PPH in hospital, practically unheard of now. It is common for babies to require resus however the resources are there to do it and so again it would be unusual that a healthy baby would die. The interventions given in these circumstances are there ready so I personally wouldn't describe this as almost dying.

I do understand though, I have been there and hearing 'where is all this blood coming from, we need to stop the bleeding now etc' is terrifying! I absolutely thought I was dying, however now I know the full story I can see the doctors 'had me' and I was never going to die.

In all my years as a midwife, I have encountered only one baby and one mother who I genuinely thought might die, it was bloody terrifying and the mothers in both scenarios remain with severe ptsd. The baby is severely disabled now following shoulder dystocia and the mother remains unwell with a cardiac condition.

When I was severely Pph (twice), I felt calm until I started throwing up.

OTOH, when I went into fluid overload, after my first transfusion, I was subconsciously aware that something was wrong before I understood it and had terrifying nightmares about trains running over my throat. I learnt that drowning is a rather horrible way to die.

PrivateDoor I wasn't sure if your post was addressed at my previous post but that was why I prefaced by saying it was the opinion of a consultant. My placenta was failing at the end of the pregnancy and my son had actually barely grown in 2-3 weeks, but the only indication was that my son had stopped moving very much for a few hours. Fortunately I did go into the hospital, he was in distress and was delivered minutes after the consultant had looked at my CTG results (about an hour after I first walked into the hospital). I wasn't even in labour, he was just very poorly. I was told in clear terms that if I had just stayed at home then he would have died very soon after. I take on board your point that it might be something which people say often but I think it was true in our case.

DD/I had shoulder dystocia during labour, though it was years later I discovered that is an obstetric emergency. Luckily I didn't have that home birth I'd planned as I had spotted meconium when my waters broke and went to hospital.
The room suddenly filled with staff and I had my leg hoiked up to my ear by someone. They sorted it pretty quickly and everything was fine, I was annoyed they made us spend the night! No one told me what had happened, or how serious it could have been, as it was resolved. I read the name of the manouver in my notes and years later found out what it meant.
I would never say we almost died, but in a different situation that could have ended badly for both of us.

DD ended up in resus with asthma as a toddler, again I didn't understand the seriousness at the time but his SATs were down to 85%. Without treatment he could easily have died.

Mine was like what @mybreadiseggy described.

I had haemorrhaged in hospital during a procedure. I was in my own room but luckily a nurse or someone came in and all I actually remember of it was my head in this person's lap, after being on the floor, and all these people rushing in and this commotion and I night have thrown up, but I was so calm, it was like looking through a fishbowl and hearing voices from underwater and it felt so so calm and airy and light. No idea what happened then, I think I probably blacked out entirely but they had to rush me into surgery urgently. I didn't even register the severity of it until I had a debrief with my GP who took me through the notes and such. I was shocked.

My DH ‘almost died’. No output for 12 minutes. Prolonged CPR and 4 defibrillator shocks to bring him back. We were told he was indeed a miracle.

He remembers nothing.

Miss, definitely not directed at you - your situation is totally different to what I was talking about

Rachie, now that really is almost died!

I think the closest I came to dying was when I was 9 and on holiday with my family abroad. Everyone else was out by the pool and I was a bit peckish and went into the apartment for some food. I was a weird kid and had a thing about eating flour. So I grabbed a big handful of flour and shoved it in my gob, but then I started choking on it.

For what felt like forever I was in complete panic as I realised I couldn’t breathe, and then I collapsed and an immense feeling of calm washed over me. It was almost blissful. Then somehow the flour dislodged itself and I coughed it up.

Stopped eating flour after that

I think a lot of people say it in a quite flippant way. They don’t know for sure that they were inches from death, but it sounds dramatic, so...

Yes, some people do love the drama and the attention.

Sometimes they 'almost died'; other times they 'literally died'

....Obviously not referring to people who have genuinely suffered serious health concerns where actual death could potentially have been the result.

When ds was in a and e there were suddenly a lot of drs in the room. They called for a surgeon and were looking very worried. I remember watching his pulse monitor go from 60 to 55 then 50. I looked down at his face and thought he was going to die right in front of me. I went through horror and remember thinking if he died I would go upstairs in the hospital and jump of the roof. And I really meant it. I couldn’t shake the memory for ages because it was clear as anything, if he died I was going to die too. How people get through it I do not know.

Elephantina massive explosion. I was in a vehicle, and if I’d have been left where I was, my leg/hip joint most likely would have stayed attached in a more dignified manner - but the risk of the whole vehicle going up like a Roman candle meant that I had to be moved. I think a mixture of gravity, and the force required to get me out did more damage.
As I’ve said before though when I’ve talked about it on here, alls well that ends well! Everyone involved made it out. No loss of limb, no totally life-changing injuries (like blindness or anything), and no one died. So all in all we were a lucky bunch!

It's not that difficult to understand. Almost dying is a situation where you could realistically die.

Though many people use it, when they mean I'll or avoided a situation that had potential to kill them. For example a car pulling out and nearly smashing into you. I have heard people say that they almost died in relation to that. But they didn't because even if there had have been an accident you have no idea what the outcome would have been. That's almost having an accident.

I almost died. I had meningitis at 17. My parents were told to prepare for the worst. I don't remember it because I was in a coma.

I think eggy qualifies!

Another pph here with 4l blood loss and an icu admission. I never thought I was going to die. I felt the same calm that everyone else here describes. The doctors and nurses were so calm, I believed they had it under control.
They asked dh to consent to hysterectomy but they stopped the bleed without it in the end.
I know someone who actually did need a hysterectomy to stop a pph. I guess she would have died without it.

Afterwards I was desperate to go home to my other children. The thought that I potentially could have not gone home to them was the most traumatic thing.

But I don’t feel that I ‘nearly died’. I think I would have without medical treatment but that goes for most people.

I still believe I would have survived had I been at home and if I had another child I would still plan a home birth. I think it would have been frightening at home though and more ‘touch and go’ than it was.

My PPH was at home, 30 minutes drive to the hospital. It did change my expectations somewhat I think. For a fair chunk of time I was lying there calmly thinking oh well, this is it then, this is how it ends.
I do remember feeling like I'd entirely gifted my life into the hands of the people around me and just letting them get on with it.

I drowned as a child and needed CPR. Zero memory of it but I fucking hate swimming pools.

Almost dying is going blue from not being able to breathe and oxygen saturation levels dropping down below 50%. Not me, but somebody where I used to work.

It is sobering when you realise that if you hadn’t done one thing you could have gone. For me it was ringing the hospital saying I was fed up and could I come in and discuss my treatment plan earlier than my planned appointment. They agreed thankfully - I went in on a Friday instead of the following Tuesday. The doctor herself said it is just as well I did as I wouldn’t in all likely hood made my planned appointment- I was internally bleeding completely unaware. I wouldn’t say I almost died just that I could have died. Thank you nhs and prompt treatment.

Don't think this is the typ;e of thing you mean OP but I will share anyway.

I had skin cancer and in 2008 they operated and found it was starting on the cartilege (sp?) and that if it had reached the bone it would have been Lights Out so to speak . It had not reached the bone so I am still here,

Two years ago a Doctor told me I had a UTI and gave me antibiotics and pain killers . The pain I got a few evenings later was nothing I had ever had before . Luckily I went back to the doctors 3 days after this UTI diagnosis and was sent straight to hospital . Was the appendix and when the doctor came round the next morning stated "It was very unplesant but we got it" . Seems it had gangrene and an abscess round it too boot . I may have died had it not been removed and had I listened to that first doctor of it being a UTI.