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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask DD father not to turn up to birthday party?

3 replies

helpmewiththistwo · 24/01/2019 20:00

NC for this as I don't want a flaming linked to my account should there be a flaming Confused

Me and DD father split due to DV in the relationship. He has never respected me and has always tried to hold some form of control especially when it comes to contact with DD. He comes and goes as he pleases and has seen her a total of 12 days in 2018 - his choice.. Therefore the relationship between him and DD isn't a strong one.
DD is having a birthday party this weekend and cousins have been invited from both mine and her fathers side including all children from her class. Ex hasn't arranged any contact for this weekend and I have no
Idea if he is coming or not. DD age 6 says he is coming on Saturday but again, nothing has been arranged with me. I really don't want him at her party as I feel extremely uncomfortable around him as would my family and friends due to the abuse he sent all of them when we split. There are also parents at the party who know him and do not get along with him due to his behaviour towards them. I know this because we all get along.He hasn't contributed towards the party either but I arranged it myself and expected him not to be there so that's not really a problem.

AIBU to ask him not to turn up to the party? Even though I have no idea his intentions. He can take her after should he get in contact with me. DD wouldn't be phased if he were there or not. I don't want drama, just a nice and enjoyable day for DD.

OP posts:
Caterinaballerina · 24/01/2019 20:05

I’d not say anything about the party, it sound like he won’t turn up anyway, by mentioning it I bet he will!

helpmewiththistwo · 24/01/2019 20:49

I think you're right! However, I don't want confrontation at the party either. He is so twisted I wish he would act like a 'normal' father

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 24/01/2019 20:56

Is the party at your house? If so, just don't let him in. If it's in a public venue, again you can refuse to let him in, and if he starts to cause a scene call the police. Tell them that he is trying to gate rash a children's party, they'll be there in a shot!

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