To ask if you have kids close in age

[chardonm]

Do you regret having them close in age or was it a good decision?

How close are you talking?

Mine are 28 months apart, there are pros and cons. Getting certain phases out of the way in shorter bursts has been good at times.

I had hoped that the age gap would mean them growing up firm friends but if anything it has made them more competitive, but they have time to grow out of that

Are you considering a small gap?

Sorry that should have said 18 months. Typo

What do you mean by close though? Mine have just under 2.5 years between them. It was perfect for us as they were so close and played together all the time. Friends who had a bigger gap found their kids fought more and the older one didn't want to play with the younger one. But some people prefer bigger gaps and sometimes kids dislike each other when they are close in age and vice versa - depends on lots of things.

I have a 17 month gap then a 3.5 year gap. Im pleased I had the first two so close as they are lovely together.

12 month gap
Not planned like that but has worked for us
The gcse/A level yrs seem long though as will be one after the after for 4 years ! .

How close do you mean?

What is considered a small gap seems to have really changed since my DC were born, then anything less than about 15 months would have been close with 18 months the standard but I've noticed on MN that now even 2 years is classed as a small gap and there seems to be a lot more concern about what my comtemperies consider quite normal

I had my first two 22 months apart. It was hard tbh, ds2 was a tricky baby and it was a shock to the system after ds1 who was a dream baby. However they get on brilliantly(odd arguements of course).

I had my third was they were 5 & 3 and found that much easier.

I have 13 months between my two.

It's lovely now at 8 and 7. They are good friends and are at a close enough level that things we do usually suit both really well.

It was pretty hellish at the baby stage though.

Mine are 17 months apart. Now that they’re both confident on their feet it really limits where I can go with them alone. Parks are out because they’ll either run in opposite directions or want to play on different thing but neither are safe enough to be left to their own devices.
I reckon I’ve got about a year until my eldest understands not to run off and then it’ll be easier to get out with them both.
At weekends when we can got out as a family it’s great because you can each watch one child.
As pp said, the fighting and competition can be pretty horrendous and you get glimpses of them playing together and I can see that they’ll be great playmates as they get older.x

My three are all about 20 months apart. It was quite hard when they were a mix of babies/toddlers, but got much easier after that. They played together well.

16 months between ours and been brilliant all the way. Now 18 and 16 nearly 17. Been great play mates always.

Gaps of 2 ds's - 13 months twice.
Ds + dd 20 months.
Dd's - 15 months apart.
Didn't find it particularly difficult tbh.
Maybe due to loss of marbles along the way!!

19 months between my first 2. First 6 months were hell on Earth but I had two horrific sleepers. Now 5 and 3.5 and it’s pretty easy, and they’re best friends. We’ve just thrown a newborn into the mix though!

15m for me.... boy was it tought when they were young.... but if I lived my life again I would do it exactly this way. I have friends with DC 4 years apart which isnt huge, and the kids dont want to watch the same thing at the cinema / one still likes soft play and the other has outgrown it / one just wants to hang out in bed on a Saturday morning, but you still have to get up at 6.30 to get food for the 5 year old. Mine are 10 and 11 and I love it (most of the time!). Gets a bit stressful doing two lots of homework which I imagine will only get worse, but we are all on teh same page the whole time, which is lovely

I think it depends more on the personalities and such like of the individual children.

My cousins were 3 years apart, then 18 months apart.

The two eldest got on brilliantly. Never argued, always compromised. You could offer them two things, one of which was really adored by them and the other was not particularly liked, and, even at aged 5 and 2yo they would take them off together and work out a compromise. And, no it wasn't that one was stronger and always got it.
Younger two argued constantly. You could offer them two identical things and they'd argue violently over one.

I have 3/4 years between each of mine. Yes they do argue, but they also can play together well and look after each other.
We did have a tricky time finding things to do as a family when the youngest was still wanting to do things like farm parks at age 5yo and the 12yo was feeling too old (and often not allowed to go on the activities) but we've come through the other side of that now.

16 months between my boy and girl. Won't lie, it was hard work when they were babies, my thoughts however were that I got the difficult years over. (I'm a much better working mum than a SAHM if I'm honest) however now they're 16 and 15 it's lovely. They're close (still bicker mind!) and very supportive of each other. In fairness we have rather a lot of years of GCSEs and a levels on the horizon! However again there is sibling support and a general air of revision being the norm which is fab. From an entirely selfish view point I'm dreading what I can see as a very sudden empty nest!! I'd definitely advocate a small gap.

Posted too soon.
On the other side one of my cousins decided to only have 15 months between her dc as her and her sister had that gap and she felt they'd always got on so well because of that.

I had 3 in 3 years and it was carnage at times but, since they hit 15, 16, 17 they've been so close that it's beautiful to witness. They recently had to face their father (my ex) being extremely ill for 6 mths (accident, coma, life changing injuries) and the way they supported each other made me so proud.

Mine are 1 minute apart so I had no choice in the matter as twins!

Have a 14 months gap between eldest and twins... no it was not planned...

I like the fact that the nappies and bottles were over never to be repeated, I’ve never had the problem of amusing different age groups together, the toys were never choking hazards for the little ones as they were all little. They are very close and when they reminisce they all pretty much remember the same things, which I hope continues as they get older. They can play board games together - massive age gap between me and my sisters and no one ever wanted to play...

Downsides... there’s always someone to fight with I felt a fair amount of guilt that I was ruining dd’s babyhood (although as they got bigger I realised she always had someone to play with) I was soooooo tired when they were small, no chance of catching up on sleep as someone was always awake, leaving the house was practically impossible without a helper.

In summary I’m glad they’re close, no regrets but two would’ve been much easier than three.

22 months apart. It was a tough couple of years but I don't regret it at all. It limited the years changing nappies and they're really close now as teenagers.

12 month age gap here. Hardest part was when youngest was newborn and then when they were 2 and 3. Now 4 and 5 and it's started to get easier.

My oldest two are 19 months apart and they were fantastic playmates for each other. My youngest and next oldest have almost seven years between them, and that’s harder in some respects because the youngest has no immediate playmate, and I’m having to divide my time and mentality between toddler land and pre teen land all the time.

Oldest 2 are 16 months apart. Was easy when they were little but so hard (and bloody expensive!) now they’re teens.

12 years between 2 and 3, and will be 2 years between 3 and 4. I quite like the big age gap and the older two dote on the toddler, but I am looking forward to having 2 similar ages again.

11 month gap here. Found out I was pregnant again when DC2 was 8 weeks old.

Found it incredibly hard. Still do.

They’re 4 and 5 now and it isn’t letting up.

That could just be my kids though.