Deceased loved ones to think “ they would have been this age today” or to remember as they were ?

[dontfollowmeimlosttoo]

So I just wondered if anyone else does this / family does this
My mum’s mum passed away when she was just 56, my mum text me saying my lovely mum would have been 90 today .. I get yearly updates about most family members that we have lost but mainly her mum and dad ...

My own dad passed away a few years ago aged 53 but I find it too painful to say this year he would have been 54 this year 55 etc. I feel in doing so I would just be torturing myself and thinking what could have been / what I have been “ robbed of “ so to speak.

I know someone who does this who is ages 84 and often will say well my dad would have been 120 now .. is this a generation thing , do many people do this as a comfort or are any others like myself and don’t like to think ok today would have been my dads 56th birthday and try and imagine what he would look like ( my mum does this wonder what she would be like now etc ) maybe it helps with grief I don’t know

Would be interesting to know other people’s views on this

My dad is frozen in time at the age he died, 48.
Now I’m in my 40s I find it really strange chatting to blokes in their late 40s.

My parents who are 80ish had a still born child that died during delivery before I was born. They have never spoken too much about it, until I remember seemingly out of the blue my mum calling for a chat and casually dropping in to convo that it would have been the baby’s 50th birthday, and how sad she felt for the life they never had. I think for parents you may think like this because you spend a lot of time wondering about their futures.