To start preparing for baby this early in pregnancy...

[room32]

I am 26 weeks pregnant with first. This week I bought a pram and at the weekend am painting the soon-to-be nursery with friends. This is the first real preparation I have done. Both my parents and MIL have said this is far too soon and I am tempting fate, I need to wait a couple of months yet.

I do understand where MIL is coming from as as well as DP and his siblings she had several late losses and a premature baby who only lived a short time. There's no particular history with my parents but they are both terrible worriers. Therefore I initially thought they were all BU. However now I am wondering if I'm jumping the gun.

Also DP and I were TTC for 5 years and had to have 2 rounds of IVF so we are all over the place emotionally and I can't really think straight on this one. Should I wait? Or is now ok?

Of course it’s fine; I thought I was going to read that you were 10 weeks, I started preparing about the time especially as I knew that even if my DD came that early there was a very good chance she’d be ok.

Not unreasonable at all.

As per several PPs I was expecting you to say you were first trimester before your first scan! 26 weeks is not that early in a pregnancy.

I liked to spread purchases and projects out just to give me something to count down the weeks with, rather than being superstitious.

Congratulations OP!!
YANBU I'm 29 weeks and I've had the pram travel system since November (gift from the soon to be GP's), started buying clothes etc in November and got the nursery is sorted just after Christmas. I'm really glad I've got it all pretty much done now so if bub comes early we're ready and also that I don't need to worry about taking care of any of this when I'm closer to due, I'm so much bigger and more tired than I am now!
Try not to let the anxiety of your family bring you down, doing all the preparation bits and pieces is such a wonderful time and you should be enjoying this time.

Fate is nonsense, so are they saying if something happens is because you painted a room? Ridiculous. We had our pram by about twenty weeks. Room painted floors sanded and varnished, cot built etc by about thirty weeks, had all of the things we need for a newborn, nappy bag etc, changing unit about 35 weeks then work got busy and I went into labour early so our parents ended up building a wardrobe while I was in hospital and I had to dash home and pack my hospital bag before going back in, so it was good that I already had everything. Some people like to be prepared others wait for baby to arrive and do it then. DS is seven weeks and I wouldn't have had time or energy to decorate a nursery, nor would DH and we use it for dressing, nappy changing etc even though he's in with us until six months for sleeping. Enjoy it, it is exciting and it means you choose what you want rather than others doing it for you after they're born.

I'm 23 weeks today and was getting nagged by family around the start of the year to start getting organised as I hadn't bought anything. I was holding out till my 20 week scan (which I actually got at 21 weeks) before I got going.

We got the pram and car seat ordered last weekend and I have been taking advantage of the sales to pick up some bits and pieces. The pram shop staff said that I was probably leaving it later than other mums to be as most of their current customers were due in July/August and I'm due in May.

I don’t think this is too early. Do have some sympathy for your mil though, pg for her will have been spoiled forever by her losses. You can’t return to a state of confidence after that. I suppose if someone has a loss then having lots of baby stuff in the house is one more distressing thing to deal with - but it certainly won’t tempt fate. Think how you feel about people who start ttc and stress about having a Christmas baby or whatever (before even being pg) with your experience you’ll know they might be in for a long wait. For your mil it’s like that but it doesn’t stop in pg (or even birth). However, she should not be burdening you with this.

I know people who've suffered losses who prepared, and those who did nothing.

I don't think the grief is different for either of them (well, except for grief always being different for everyone).

I have just seen my friend twisting herself in knots about what other people feel and think. Please just do what feels comfortable to you.