Ex bf contact with son

[Mumsyof3boys]

This is a long one 🙈
Me and ex are split up nearly 12 years, there's been issues over contact this while time, court orders etc because he wasn't coming g to get my DS.
The last CO we agreed he would txt on a Monday to let us know if he would be getting him on a sat or sun as he had to work around his rota. I needed to know on a Monday as I work shifts also so I was working whatever day he had my DS so I was free the other day.
We had issues just before Christmas and he stopped all communication with us, just turning up to get DS with no notice etc. After 2 weeks of this I reached out to his gf who seemed lovely and wanted to get things back on track so I phoned her and we had a good talj. I explained I only needed to know which day they were getting him as I was changing my shifts in work to suit whatever day ex was getting him. So ex was basically saying day and time and I was jumping. She agreed to take over communication and let me know so this was great.
Now for the last 3 weeks she has been texting on a Wednesday and I'm getting in bother with work they've already done rotas🙈 so I messaged her last night explaining again about my job etc and she went mental. Said because she works shift work she can only text me on a Wednesday? Like it's a 10 second msg, does she not get a break?🤔so she cant txt, ex won't text 🤔AIBU asking for 1 message to let us know what the arrangement is so I can also work around my job?

Yanbu. I would send them both a text and say basically as per the co if I don't hear from you by Monday at X time, I will take this as no visit at the weekend.

Then arrange clubs, reciprocal childcare with other parents, ask family etc.

He will either comply or he will waste money going back to court and explain why he is defying the co.

It's ridiculous, he's meant to get him overnight every 3rd sat but hasn't done in nearly 2 years 🙄 they're saying they should be able to text that morning just to come get him, I've explained we're a family too so I work when DS is with them ( he only gets him 1 day a week) so I'm off the other weekend day so we can do fun stuff but they don't want to do that 🤷

Tough one. Your ex is a total flake, but it's not his GF's responsibility to sort this out.

As suggested above, text and say if you haven't heard from them in time to arrange your shifts (i.e. MONDAY every week), you will assume no contact for that weekend. If he has issues with that, tell him to take you to court to arrange access formally.

Isn't your son a teenager, cant he just stay at home if your working?

You really shouldn't be dragging the girlfriend into it, nothing to do with her.

He'll be 13 soon, I don't need him for childcare at all, what I meant was I have to work a sat or sun so if he gets him on a sun I'll work then so I'm off sat and we can do family time.
I'm married with 2 other DS so we try to do stuff at the weekend when they're off school.
I only messaged his now wife( they got married a few weeks ago) as we had no other way to arrange contact, She suggested she should be the one arrangements go through 🤷

In that case contact needs to be fixed for a specific day. Either he has him on the Sunday or he doesn't see him that weekend. Flexible contact arrangements only work when both parents are amicable.

Work should fit around contact not the other way around.