Am I insane

[elliesm98]

I’ve been with my partner for two years. He smokes about 5-8 a day. I quit smoking when I became pregnant, however he carried on. We ended up splitting up / getting back together etc, and every time he comes round I get a sore throat. He doesn’t smoke in the house or anywhere near me, and takes his coat off, washes his hands and brushes his teeth every time he smokes but I still seem to get the effects. Is this a real thing or just a coincidence? I don’t even want him near me if it is making me ill. And if this is the effect it’s having on me then he won’t be going near our baby

Well good luck with that when he takes it to court!

Obviously if you can't stand the smell of smoke then you can't stand it and must come to an arrangement with him but you really can't stop him from 'going near' the baby!

I don’t care about the smell of it...? It’s making me ill, so think what it could do to a newborn baby. And wouldn’t need to take him to court as he has the baby’s best interests at heart and wouldn’t want to be around him if it could make him ill

Show him the SIDS advice about smoking increasing cot death risks and ask if he cares for the baby that he should give up smoking now.

And wouldn’t need to take him to court as he has the baby’s best interests at heart and wouldn’t want to be around him if it could make him ill

So he'd dump his baby rather than give up the few fags he smokes per day?

Yeah, he totally has the baby's best interests at heart...

He’s said he will quit when the baby’s born (due next month) but he won’t listen to me when I tell him that it won’t be that easy to just drop them then... especially with the stress of a newborn + sleep deprivation

He's got an addiction.

If he's serious about quitting, he may as well make a start.

Has he tried vaping?

I’m not sure you can prove it is cigarette smoke. You used to smoke too and didn’t have any effects then?
He shouldn’t be smoking around a newborn but you’ve decided to have a child with a smoker so you can’t turn round and say he can never see his own child unless he quits.

And you don’t know any other smokers so you can compare?

No I don’t know any other smokers and I know I can’t prove it is definitely from cigarette smoking, hence why I’m asking if anyone else has got sore throats 🤕

I quit when pregnant with my twins, DH cut down but hasn’t managed to quit, before the anti smokers attack he follows ALL the advice on changing clothes, washing hands, not holding either DD or DS for at least half an hour afterwards. Mainly he has his cig breaks at work (2) and one or two in the evening after the twins are down for the night (outside of course). It’s been 15 months since I quit and I can’t say I’ve ever gotten sore throat from kissing him. Also no adverse effects on either DD or DS (and believe me I’ve been watching like a hawk as DD came home from NICU on oxygen after suffering bronchiolitis and a collapsed lung whilst in hospital). In fact she came off the oxygen sooner than the Healthcare Professionals expected :D

But I will stress again. He follows all the advice even now because he knows it’s his selfish habit and it would break him to have it impact the twins.

It's probably a coincidence.

Pregnancy makes you extra sensitive