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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disgusted that a woman was charged with defamation

48 replies

FromEden · 23/01/2019 20:21

For posting on facebook about the domestic abuse against her by her ex husband?

She posted that he tried to strangle her but apparently the judge ruled he was trying to "silence" her and not trying to kill her when he put his hands around her neck, so therefore she had defamed her ex who she is now supposed to pay 200k towards his legal fees.

What a fucking joke. A man using his money to silence and punish a woman who speaks against him.

Sorry if this has been posted already. Didn't see it

link

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 23/01/2019 20:24

It was posted in feminism chat but absolutely deserves a wider audience.

It's a disgrace. He put his hands on her throat and squeezed hard enough to leave marks. Sounds like strangling to me.

strangle
/ˈstraŋɡ(ə)l/
verb
gerund or present participle: strangling
squeeze or constrict the neck of (a person or animal), especially so as to cause death.
"the victim was strangled with a scarf"
synonyms: throttle, choke, garrotte; More
sounding as though the utterer's throat is constricted.
adjective: strangled
"a series of strangled gasps"
suppress (an impulse, action, or sound).
"she strangled a sob"
synonyms: suppress, smother, stifle, repress, restrain, hold back, hold in, fight back, bite back, gulp back, swallow, choke back, check
"she strangled a sob"

marvellousnightforamooncup · 23/01/2019 20:28

It's fucking outrageous. The court system is bullshit and needs an overhaul.

onlywanttosleep · 23/01/2019 20:28

Blimey
I'm not a big fan of crowdfunding but is there anywhere we can contribute to her fees - or preferably for an appeal?

SparklyLeprechaun · 23/01/2019 20:31

I'm not sure. It hasn't been denied that she has suffered domestic violence, under dispute was whether she implies that he tried to kill her. Which is a pretty awful accusation to make.

staydazzling · 23/01/2019 20:35

it's scary just when you think things are getting better for women

FromEden · 23/01/2019 20:36

Eh, anytime someone squeezes another person's throat it is possible for them to die, whether that is the intent or not. Pretty sure from her point of view she was scared for her life at that point, I'm sure he didn't say "don't worry love I'm not actually trying to kill you here"

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 23/01/2019 20:39

The case has been appealed and she lost, hence the high legal fees. She now wants to take it to the Supreme Court.

It's a complex case, and on the strict application of the law I don't disagree with the judge. And all he can do is interpret the law as it stands.

In lay terms, the verdict is completely unjust and is evidence of continued controlling behaviour (abuse). In legal terms, the verdict is fair.

How to change things? Campaign for a change in the law so that cases cannot be brought with the direct intention of abusing or harassing someone.

sakura06 · 23/01/2019 20:40

Horrendous. I would contribute to a crowdfund too.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 23/01/2019 20:40

Have you ever been strangled SparklyLeprechaun? it is terrifying and it does feel like you might die. whether he was trying to kill her or to “silence her” (what the fuck, that can mean the same thing surely?) he could have killed her regardless.

I hope she can appeal this I really do. This defamation charge is just another way to silence victims and discourages them coming forward as many will believe, quite reasonably that people, including those with any kind of power, won’t believe them.

EnoughSnowAlready · 23/01/2019 20:41

I had someone lunge at me with a knife once. I foolishly assumed that his intent was to stab me, now I realise how erroneous and wrong that assumption was and I'm deeply ashamed that I insulted his character by even considering that he might want to harm me.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 23/01/2019 20:41

And yes I would happily contribute to a crowdfund for this woman. Admittedly it would probably only be about a fiver as I have no money.

Racecardriver · 23/01/2019 20:42

Is there a crowd funding page? It would be good to see this taken to the supreme court.

OdeToDiazepam · 23/01/2019 20:42

That's horrendous

RadicalFern · 23/01/2019 20:46

It is on at the Supreme Court tomorrow morning, 9:30am. If you happen to be free you should come along and protest.

Also, she didn't say he tried to kill her, she said he strangled her. The defamation charge was on the basis that the word "strangle" implies intent to kill.

Quandary2018 · 23/01/2019 20:46

My exh strangled me hard enough to leave marks- he told the police I must have done it to myself as he certainly hadn’t. He also pulled a kitchen knife on me and told me how easy it would be to stab me, apparently this was just to “wind me up” and “for a laugh”
He was not charged and continues to make my life a misery at every given opportunity

Being strangled is terrifying, you do believe you are going to die, he strangled her, he could’ve killed her- how on earth did she lose??

SparklyLeprechaun · 23/01/2019 20:49

No one is denying that he strangled her, as in applied pressure to her neck. But legally, the judge has to decide whether that amounts to to an attempt to kill or not. A punch can kill, but if I was punched I couldn't just go around saying it was attempted murder.

SparklyLeprechaun · 23/01/2019 20:50

I do sympathise with her and the ex is obviously a bastard but I can see why she lost.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 23/01/2019 20:54

In the eyes of what’s right I can’t see how he won. But yes, in the eyes of the law I can. He’s got lots of money. That would have helped significantly.

FromEden · 23/01/2019 20:56

It's the word most people would use to describe someone putting their hands around their neck though. What else should she have said? "He choked me"? Doesn't that also carry the same connotations of trying to tell. "He squeezed my neck"? Well that doesnt covey the seriousness of it does it? There is no one here who wouldn't use the same language when describing what happened.

OP posts:
FromEden · 23/01/2019 20:57

*trying to kill, not tell

OP posts:
Shallishanti123 · 23/01/2019 21:03

Angry lots of people would use the word strangle when referring to being choked.

I can’t help but think that had he not been a millionaire then the case would be a lot different. Fucking money.

KatherinaMinola · 23/01/2019 21:04

I'm not sure. It hasn't been denied that she has suffered domestic violence, under dispute was whether she implies that he tried to kill her. Which is a pretty awful accusation to make.

Yes, awful. Poor man. Hmm

I don't see how any reasonable person can quibble over what she wrote. She had marks around her neck. Of course he tried to strangle her.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 23/01/2019 21:09

Disgusting. My ex tried to kill me. I was there, I know exactly what he intended to do. I was lucky and managed to get out of his grasp and out of the house. Apart from a lifetime restraining order he got a fine. And he posted all sorts of lies on Facebook about me .. but the police couldn’t do anything about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

EnoughSnowAlready · 23/01/2019 21:13

Punching someone is terrible enough and yes one punch can sometimes have fatal consequences but strangling is a whole different level of violence. If you Google domestic violence + strangulation + escalation you will see numerous articles about how strangulation is a considered a major escalation in violence, that it means that the abuser has stepped up a whole level and that it so often demonstrates real intent to kill. Even if a man does it only once it's a major red flag that he is likely to kill his partner.

kateandme · 23/01/2019 21:16

erm since when do you silence people by putting your hands round their neck???

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