To map out my entire future this year, by myself.

[PrettyInPink91]

Long story! I couldn’t possibly detail everything that’s gone on, so I’ll try to keep it brief.

So, I’m 27 and my longest ever relationship has been a year.

I’ve been single for years at a time, and although I’ve never had a “long term” relationship, I think I can say with some confidence that I am happier on my own than I will ever be with a man.

I do not trust people easily, in fact, I do not trust anyone 100%.

Friends, boyfriends - Whoever I have attempted to get close to in my life, have always let me down.

I’m not self pitying - This has made me a strong, independent person and the more independent I get, the less I want to share anything (my home, money, hobbies, etc).

Which brings me to my point.

There is a strong possibility that my window of time to have a baby is very limited (due to genetics/health, etc).

I work full time, have a decent-ish wage and I’ve been saving money, literally, my whole life. I have plenty there to support myself and a baby, even after paying for whatever costs will be involved in doing this alone.

There is, however, a little voice inside that tells me this is ridiculous, but I’m not sure if that is only because it’s not the “normal” way of doing things.

Am I mad? I’m prepared to be told it’s stupid and I am certainly not rushing into anything. Just curious for other points of view.

Absolutely nothing wrong with what you are planning. Please cost it all up though as childcare costs can be crippling.

There is a strong possibility that my window of time to have a baby is very limited (due to genetics/health, etc).

Does the ill health on the horizon mean that you may struggle with raising this child alone in terms of energy/ wellbeing/ hospital trips?

No, not at all, I’m perfectly fine apart from the fact that I may not be able to carry a baby much into my 30’s and I honestly don’t know how long the process will take, hence me starting to think about it now (I’ll be 28 soon).

I was going to say you’re very young but with your second post I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Make sure you have a fantastic support network around you, pregnancy, birth and the early months were really tough, even with a partner. Good luck!

My view (others may disagree) i would have thought your preferred choice would be to find a man you love and have children with him. You could easily give yourself 3 years to find said man before choosing to go it alone.

Benefits of finding a man - support for you and baby, pleasure of sharing happy moments and the baby you would be creating would share the man's genes so there would be more clues as to what traits (good and bad) your baby will pick up.

In case you're interested I had never been in a relationship before the age of 30. I started my current relationship at 30, had a baby at 34 and am expecting my second at 36.

In that case, I don't think it's a crazy idea. I think it makes good sense, given your situation.

@kayakingmum I’m happy it worked out for you, I can imagine you were probably feeling a bit anxious about meeting “the right one” at my age, but I really don’t see me meeting anyone who I would be willing to share a child with, I can’t even get my head around the idea of sharing money with a person!

I know I have serious trust issues - Comes from being let down by my own “D”F in unforgivable ways.

My DM is fantastic though, my best friend, and although this isn’t what she had hoped for me, she would support me all the way.

I don't think it is a crazy idea at all. In fact I could have written the exact same post, only difference is I'm 40 and really haven't left myself much time to have a child.

But I would have no hesitation in raising one alone. Like you I have the security, finances and support network.

@BayandBlonde I was fully expecting to be torn apart for this post, some friends/work mates have said it’s selfish of me and I’m being daft as I could meet someone at any time...

But my past, where my father is concerned, is all the proof I need that just one strong, amazing and special parent is all a child needs.

If I was in your situation yes I would go for it, yes you could wait to meet someone but what if you then have the fertility issues you have mentioned? You could spend your whole life thinking if only ...

I wouldn't. It takes more than money to raise a child.

Do have family close?

Because it will be hard. The demands of parenting start early... and changes daily. Not just for the child but for the parents. It does get easier... but easier in terms of the child's own independence and that takes years!

I agree, go for it. There are many pluses to being a single mother. You can do things how you want to do them. No arguments over chores or because you're too tired for sex! (There's a lot of those posts on here!). You have the finances to do it, which puts you a step ahead of a lot of women who find themselves in the single mum position. You have the support of your DM, which will be invaluable. I had two parents but both of them were crap! I would far rather have been raised by one loving parent.

Having a baby is hard in a way that cannot be overstated. I honestly couldn't have done it alone. Obviously lots of people do, but it's very very VERY tough.

I have PCOS and only one working ovary (the other was damaged during surgery). I met my now husband at 29, by 31 we were married and by 33 we had a baby (I actually conceived twice but miscarried the first). Things can happen faster than you think. Honestly, I'd suggesting using some of your savings to get some proper therapy for your trust issues and give yourself a bit of time to maybe meet someone.

@peachgreen That’s fair comment, thank you. I need other points of view from their experiences because I’m not prepared to make a life changing decision without proper thought first.

Single parents have been raising happy healthy amazing kids for years, go for it no one is ever ready for children xx sending love ❤️ I’ve just become a single parent and I wish I had half of what you have. Onwards and upwards I need to get a job and my own flat.

Sure you can manage having a child on your own, and you sound well prepared and in a good position to do it.

Maybe you could consider how you can address some of the trust issues you have, so you don’t unconsciously pass things on to your child unnecessarily.

I wish you all the very best!

Thank you all

I’m going to look into the process tonight and start making plans.

I think from memory I was more anxious about not having sex. I wasn't feeling maternal instincts at all.

I think you need to do what feels right. If that means going ahead with a sperm donor do it. If your gut says don't, don't.

Good luck. I hope everything works out.