..to think you have to be in a good place in life to be able to concentrate on losing weight?

[perfectlyspherical]

Just that really. I’ve lost the most weight in the past on my university holidays, when I had little or nothing else to do but exercise (both on a machine and out my my bike), had time to prepare healthy meals, get plenty of sleep etc. I lost 8kg in a summer once. Now I’m working, tired, stressed out, supporting friends and family all of whom seem to be going through stressful stuff, a lot of uncertainty over the future for a lot of people I love. Personally, I’m trying to buy a house that’s a bit out of my reach, struggling work-wise and trying to change career. Current job requires everyday driving,which I find exhausts me, so I’m constantly tired. Do not have time to meal prep. At current work I have a gym I plan to start going to but as I say might change job. Might be changing house too. I want to be healthy and lose weight, I just can’t find the willpower right now to not inhale full tubs of Ben and Jerry’s and eat cheesy bread every day for lunch.

Is it better to put off weight loss till a more stable time in my life, and maybe just concentrate on getting rid of the big stuff (e.g. putting a stopper in the wine and ice cream overconsumption), and eating a bit healthier without so much of a focus on calories?

OTOH, there’s a girl on my Insta who’s keeping on with gym etc despite going through chemo (don’t think she is having to lose weight though, just maintain.) Do you have any stories of people/yourselves who managed to lose weight despite the stresses of life?

I found that focusing on eating healthier and exercising more actually helped pull me out of a bad place - and I've kept the good habits ever since losing quite a few stone.

I focus on maintaining now, and honestly it make a huge, huge difference to my physical and mental health to be a healthy weight and be fit. I cope with all other stresses much better.

The hardest thing is starting. And don't diet. Change your lifestyle - find healthier foods that you love, and only do exercise that you enjoy!

Huge, huge tip - don't buy the ice cream. Don't buy the cheesy bread. If it's not in the house, you can't eat it. Be kind to yourself :)

Is it better to put off weight loss till a more stable time in my life

Your life doesn't need to be stable for you to eat less junk food. You'll either do it or you won't but you've obviously identified that you need to get cracking, I'm not sure it would be a kind thing for anyone to reassure you that you're making the right choice by putting off for no good reason (and probably gaining weight in the meantime if what you've said about your diet is true, making matters worse).

I would suggest that instead of focusing on losing weight you focus on eating more healthily.
You have a lot on your plate and need to look after yourself or you can't be there for other people. You deserve to be cared for.
Start with small changes, try to eat more vegetables. Then try to eat more fruit.
Only inhale Ben and Jerry's one night a week as a treat.
Plan your meals, maybe cut down on meat, try to eat fish regularly, experiment with vegetarian meals. Think about what goes into them and what nutrition it is giving you.
Instead of beating yourself up for not going to the gym go for a walk. Ten minutes during lunch break or whenever you can spare the time. Try to notice your surroundings. You don't need any special equipment, you just open the door and walk.
Build up how long you walk, then try to walk a bit faster. Do a longer one at the weekend. Borrow a dog from a friend.
Try not to reward yourself with food, think about things you enjoy that don't involve eating. Trip to the cinema(take some grapes in your handbag), soak in the bath with posh bubble bath, your favourite magazine, reading a book. When you are stressed treat yourself to something like that instead of food.
Deal with your stress. You don't have to put up with stuff that makes you feel bad. Think about how you could reduce your stress. Stop procrastinating. Set a day of the week when you have to deal with something that is bothering you eg cancelling a direct debit, paying a bill. It's on your mind because you haven't dealt with it. Deal with it and poof! It's gone.

Small changes you can sustain are key. Good luck and you are worth it