To think I'm destined to be alone forever?

[AngelOfMusic4]

I've been a single Mum for 7 years now and I've been on my own for that long. I lost all my confidence when my EX left me when I was pregnant and turned to food. I weighed 24 stone and eventually lost 14 stone but the effect on my body is awful, I have terrible excess skin and I have less confidence now then I ever have had before. Cannot afford private surgery and not eligible for NHS funded surgery.

I have lost all social skills and have social anxiety because I've been on my own for so long. My DS' are autistic so I'm constantly busy with them but when the night comes I'm overwhelmed with loneliness it's unbearable.

I'm early 30's and I just think that this is it, no friends, definitely no partner and nights full of self loathing and sadness and it's pretty upsetting.

I just don't know what to do with myself, I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for but anything to help me would be appreciated.

HI OP i understand the obvious thing to focus on is a partner/or lack of. But i’d Actually start with trying to develop a self-assessment of what you want and need from social relationships. Eg could you start with something simple - cycling grou/knitting group/whatever group once a week depending on your interests to build your social and physical confidence.

The thought of joining a group is terrifying to me, I even struggle when I'm at a checkout and someone is trying to have a conversation, I want the ground to swallow me up and I'll always relay what I said to the person in my head because I convince myself that I had made a fool of myself.
I feel like I'm being judged continuously.

Hi op have you went to your gp for help with your anxiety?

OP I meant to answer this one earlier. I’m sorry you’re feeling so low - I’m a single mom too. I feel utterly exhausted at times and I’ve only one son!

Losing 14 st is an amazing feat, not easy at all so you clearly have determination. So if you apply that same determination to feeling better about yourself, you’ll get there

Is there anything you can do at night that you might enjoy or might make you feel pampered.. painting your nails or just using a nice hand cream? I know it seems trivial but sometimes that helps me.

The hard thing with being single is that when you finish caring for everyone else, you’ve nothing left for yourself! Sorry that’s probably not exactly helpful. Don’t give up, keep posting

You lost 14st? Bloody hell, you're a hero!💪🏼

Ok, first things first. The first thing I noticed about reading your OP is how MEAN you are to yourself. You lost 14st, you are a single mother who's doing her very best for her children with no help. Please, be kinder to yourself. Tell me, what are the parts you LIKE about yourself?

I normally would not advise on that ever, but how expensive is that surgery? Would a loan cover it? Would you afford the recovery period and the monthly payments? If it's making you so unhappy there must be a way to do it.

Then: give yourself a break. Try to do things that you like. Maybe a book, a bath, anything that gives you a few minutes with yourself.

It will be better, OP. And the right person will come eventually.

Questions I forgot to ask:
Do you work? Do you have any childcare at all? Even if for 2-3 hours a week? I'm asking because maybe you could take up a hobby (book club if you like reading, exercise class etc(

There is someone out there for everyone and the right man won't care about any excess skin. I think you need to work on your anciety/self esteem before trying to date though