To ask what someone in the house has ordered or is that private too?

[TreePenguins]

Hello,

I have read many threads on Mumsnet, but I've never really come across this, so I wanted to ask.

Inspired by the opening of someone else's post thread. I think everyone agrees that's completely wrong, but then it got me thinking... what about asking them what is inside? I do this all the time.

DH or the kids (ranging from 16-24) order items and I ask "oh, what's that?" Or the equivalent, is that also an invasion of privacy?

I don’t see what the problem is in asking, so long as you don’t badger if they don’t want to tell you.

Okay thank you, it's just a bit sketchy if they are like "it doesn't matter" haha

I woukd find that bordering on nosy and would probably give a flippant response .

Do they ask you the same question? If so, crack on!

If it's a package then I'm curious and would ask my h, having said that he'd tell me at some point that x item had arrived.

I came on this thread to see if you asked your neighbours what was I side parcels that you took in for them!

Oddly enough OP I remember my cousin in his late teens/early 20s complaining that his mother demanded to know see and talk about everything he bought and finding it invasive particularly if she would critique the cost of things bought with his own money

Okay thank you, it's just a bit sketchy if they are like "it doesn't matter" haha

What if it's a birthday/Christmas present?
What if it's private? "Just my new package from Love Honey, mum!"

I have young adult DC at home & I don't ask about their parcels/post even if I'm dying to My DM used to ask me & it drove me nuts. I don't want to turn into my mother so I take the view that my DC are as much entitled to their privacy as I am.

Okay thank you, it's just a bit sketchy if they are like "it doesn't matter" haha

Well if they say that, it`s private, not sketchy.

No absolutely nothing wrong with that, at worst a little nosy, but if you can't be with family then who can you be with?

They don't have to answer though of course.

You can ask ambit your not entitled to be told and it's not sketchy to want some privacy or to keep the contents of your own mail to yourself.

Last package I had delivered was the dyson airwrap, dh asked what it was and in my excitement gave him a demo and he said he wished he'd never asked.

He found out how much it cost and keeps taking the piss out of me for "paying stupid money on a hyped up hairdryer" 😀

I ask but it's only conversation and my son would ask me too.
Parcels come for you , is it anything exciting ?
I think it's how your relationship is between you and your children.

I think it's nosy.

What do you mean "sketchy"?
do you mean that its a bit of a sketchy area? ie you don't know how to reaspond if they that. In which case you say oh ok. And change the subject.

Or do you mean sketchy to mean rude. In which case, no no it isn't in fact your tje rude one. If they say doesn't matter - then it doesn't. Why do they have to justify what they've been buying to you? Do you explain every purchase you've made?

How would you feel if they asked you every time you got a parcel

By the time my parcels arrive I've usually forgotten what I ordered, and have to ask myself what it is.
Is this being nosy too? Makes it more fun to open though!

Seriously though, it's never crossed mine or my dd's (aged 19) minds to think it's nosy to ask what's in the parcel! If it's near a birthday or Xmas we'll respect the other and just say that we can't tell

I don't think this is a big deal at all. I'm surprised people think it's nosey, especially a mother asking a child?

They don't have to tell you, mind. If I didn't want to say I'd just say "nothing". Or make up something boring.

I suppose the exception here is if you think your child is ordering things that are illegal, but that's a whole other issue and I'm sure there'd be other warning signs of that lol

Don't ask, you are almost bound to find out sooner or later. Let your family have privacy.

I hate when people do that to me, even though you aren't really being unreasonable. What about saying "anything exciting?" or similar, giving them the option to say "oh it's nothing". Rather than "oh what have you got there, what is it, open it right now and let me see!"

I don’t think it’s nosy to ask adult dc what’s in a parcel. I just do it in conversation. I am not expecting a detailed answer and if they say nothing exciting that’s fine. If it’s clothes for dd’s they usually show and ask opinions anyway.
I never ask ds as I know he doesn’t want to say - not interested in chit chat.

I honestly don't understand what is nosey about asking someone in your own home what was in a parcel delivered? Surely this is just standard chit chat? If they don't want to tell you, fine, but asking is okay imo.

I open them! not because I care what's inside but cause the cats want the box! No one has complained but they all use my account anyway so I get sent notifications on my phone which include a picture generally.Christmas DS did warn me not to look at one, I didn't. Perhaps when he's older he might set his own account up in which case I obviously wouldn't look.

What do you mean "sketchy"?

When your teenager is taking deliveries of pillow case sized bags of weed off the dark Web

At a guess

Last package I had delivered was the dyson airwrap, dh asked what it was and in my excitement gave him a demo and he said he wished he'd never asked.

Excellent work MyName.

Sooner or later one of those parcels is going to be a vibrator. Do you want them to tell you that?

My dad was always guilty of this asking what was in a parcel or when you got a letter and you could see it said for example "nhs" he'd say you have a letter from... what is it? It didn't stop when I moved out either, I'm married with kids now and just last week the postman came while he was stood by the door so he picked it up and looked through who it was for (obviously me and my husband!) and said "oh what's that from xyz?" my mum told him straight don't be nosey!! I obviously didn't open the post until he'd left!

My husband's dad is as bad, sometimes stuff still goes to his parent's house if it does his dad will say "a letter from .... has come, what is it?" forward it on and don't be bloody nosey!

I can't imagine living in a family where it would be considered an invasion of privacy to say "oh, what's that" if you were curious, DS1 is married but sometimes gets mail delivered here as it's more secure. If anything important looking comes I'll usually call him to let him know and he will often ask me to open it for him. If he says to leave it and he will collect of course I will.