To ask if anyone went to uni with a baby?

[CobaltRose96]

Not really AIBU, just posting here for traffic.

Hi all.

I'm 22 and currently almost 34 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I fell pregnant during summer break, a couple of months after finishing my first year of university. As my due date falls around the same time as my exams I decided to take a year off and work to save up some money, rather than undertake exams/study whilst heavily pregnant/with a newborn. I had a job anyway but it was initially part time whilst I was studying. Once I took my leave from uni I changed to full time hours.

So, I currently work full time but am planning to return to university to complete my biochemistry degree in September, at which point baby will be 6/7 months old. The course is considered 'full time' but is actually only 3 days a week, and one of those is a half day.

Luckily I have a very supportive partner who works full time, and a supportive family who are happy to look after baby one day a week. I've also found a lovely childminder who will look after baby the other two days.

I am excited for this new chapter but must also admit to some worries/trepidation. Part of my worry is financial. I would have to rely on DP's salary and student loans. I've sat down and done the sums, and we should be absolutely fine (and even have money left over each month!) but that doesn't stop me worrying. There is help available to pay for childcare but from what I've read the threshold is very low (you have to have an income of practically nothing to qualify) and our income may be too high. Nonetheless, even if we don't qualify for help with childcare we will still be able to afford it. Things will be a bit tighter than they are now, but not unmanageable.

My other worry is simply coping with it all! I found my first year pretty easy and manageable, but of course I didn't have a baby! From what I've been told, second year is much harder both in terms of difficulty and volume of content.

Like I said, I'm super excited and cannot wait both for baby to come and for me to go back to uni, but I'm also slightly terrified!

Did anyone else go to uni with a baby/small children? How'd you find it? Any tips or tricks for surviving?

Thanks

Bump!

Hi OP, i've not done a degree with children but my mother had 5 of us before she went back as a mature student! However, from an academic perspective, I've done three degrees and work in a university and i think it is very doable if you have a supportive family, partner, and will manage financially. Students always throw the "the workload goes up in the next year" thing around but the point is that so do your capabilities and your tolerance threshold as you learn. If you haven't had any problems in first year I would certainly go for it. Just try not to let yourself fall behind with any work. That's when it gets difficult.

Hi OP, I did and it really focused my mind so much I'm convinced I ended up with better results than if I hadn't had my son! He's now attending the same uni, which is lovely. It sounds like you have a good set up with your partner and family/ childcare. In many ways, I found it easier then than going back to work full time with my next two.
Good luck, you can do it!

I’m currently around 13 weeks pregnant, already have a 6 year old and I am in my first year of uni. Baby is due in August so it will be in the holidays before second year starts, but I will have to take some time off. I am hoping to stay with the cohort I’m in at the minute as my tutor is hopeful I could do some lectures from home in the first few weeks. If not I’ll have to take a year off too, luckily dp has a good job but it’s still a worry.

Uni has been hard even with a child in school so I know it’s going to be really difficult, and stressful. I’m determined though and excited

You and I are in similar boats! I am a ‘older’ mum & started a 3 year post grad course 3 months pregnant. Luckily I get a stipend and am taking 6 months off when he arrives. Things will be tight as when budgeting I didn’t plan on child care but my relying on DPs job we shall be OK.
I am worried about doing a full time course with only 3 days childcare but I am hoping it will all work out!
I am sure we will both be fine

I had a 1 year old when i went to uni. Local to me so not much travel and lived at home with DH. Worked out fine - we used a nursery for the full days and I had 2-3 classes/lectures a day and just did all the coursework in the rest of the day so had very little to do in the evenings or weekends. We were lucky to get a nursery that didn't charge at all for the uni hols as we committed to the 3 years - most charge half price. Was great - I had a really good result as I was working at uni 9-5. Well apart from the occasional 3 hour pub lunch of course!

Yep, had a baby at the end of my first year and another in my third year! My degree was not as full on as yours though I suspect. I gave birth in the last term of first year so o my went for exams after baby was born, ploughed straight in with second year and then had second baby in December of third year. Went back when she was 5 weeks old (4 weeks of that was Xmas hols!) and passed with a 2:1. As I said though, my degree was fairly easygoing and I was only in 3 days in third year. I picked my modules based on this, rather than what I would have really wanted to do but it worked for me

Oh my god definitely do it OP. It's a great time because as a young baby even if money is a bit tight they don't need much and are happy with second hand etc (and family tend to be very generous with the first baby). In terms of juggling work and the baby you just need to be organised in addition to scheduled lectures etc. you need to set aside specific times to get you work done and have some wiggle room for weeks when there's a difficult assignment. Obviously it'll be much more difficult to pull an all nighter when you have a baby so you'll have to be organised but it can definitely be done (I did it for grad school).

Once the baby has started school you'll be in such a better position to get a job that pays a decent salary and interests you. If you don't do it now it'll become more difficult over time.

3 days a week in third year, not 3 days for the whole year

I haven't, but I've had students who have and attended nursing school with pregnant and parenting students. (One of my previous students actually deferred an exam because it was scheduled for the date her C-section was booked!) I don't know exactly how they all made it work, but they did.

I did, I had my son in the summer between my 2nd and 3rd year so deferred the 3rd year and went back when my son was 1. My 3rd year got the best result because I was so
much more focused with my time knowing that when I got home I would have a baby to deal with. It’s amazing what you can do when you know you only have an hour before picking the baby up.

You do need a supportive partner and family and also do tell the uni, some are helpful to those with small babies and are very supportive.

I was knackered one day with a teething baby but went in and was in a lecture with my favourite professor and quieter than I was usually, we would then have smaller class time with the professor and I always remember him coming up to me, asking why I was quiet and he just telling me to go home and go to bed and he would email me the work. He was very friendly and really supportive when I went back after a year out as were some others.

Also remember you need childcare when writing essays. I did a lot of mine staying up til late when ds was in bed or with his dad.

Also try and find out if you can defer the year if you need to. I was going to back when my son was 2 months old but was quickly diagnosed with PND and just would not have coped so I met with the uni and asked about deferring.

It’s nice to know that’s an option if you are struggling with pnd or if the baby has something like colic that’s keeping you up all night.

You will struggle to study if you are already struggling at home with baby. I know most want to just continue as normal and most do fantastically but I know many who have also struggled the first year of a babies life and that’s ok. It’s might be useful to know if that’s an option.

Sorry just re-read your post and you have already taken a year old. Hopefully by 6/7 months the baby will be a routine and you will cope with both. It’s good you won’t have to worry about it while baby is a newborn.

Thank you everyone! It seems like many manage and manage it well! I know I am very lucky to have a supportive network around me and I cannot fathom how single parents cope with studying. Much admiration to those who have done it!

Hi OP,

I did a law degree while I had two children - ostensibly full time, but I'd be half time on-site at the university. You need to be focused, organised, and always remember that when you have children, you don't have quite the same control over making sure things go according to your plan - so also be flexible! For me, for example, I ended up taking an unexpected sabbatical from study, because the second pregnancy was at risk. My professor asked me very bluntly, which mattered more, my baby or my grades. Kind of made it crystal clear. . .