(Lighthearted) To wish that native language speakers could realise that when foreigners (me) say impolite things it's usually a mistake and not a deliberate slight?

[toomuchtooold]

Lighthearted, don't flame me, but god I find this exhausting. I live in Germany, people are very friendly, but I get some serious side eye at times for mistakes I make in the language. A couple of times I've been searching for the informal dative plural pronoun (euch) and come up with the formal one instead (Ihnen) and seen my school run mum colleagues give me a hard stare.
There's also the thing where someone says something and I don't know the word and I repeat it with a questioning tone and get some massive justifying explanation for why it all went down that way and I'm like no, I wasn't questioning your version of events, I just don't know what that word means?

AIBU to expect people to remember that foreigners make mistakes? My German is nowhere near good enough for them to forget it's not my first language!

I remember being about 9, and my sister 21 we were in Spain and one of the bar people took a liking to sister.
They had got really friendly after a week or so and she was meant to be baby sitting me but was just chilling with him why I sat and listened.
Anyway he was trying to make a joke about her boobs, and said but you do have big ears 😂
Sister was highly offended and he had no idea why !

My friend asked, in English, if we could “get a piece of paper to prove who we were”. The admin bloke smirked and said “would it not be more correct to say a sheet of paper?” And then fell about laughing with his friends, and walked off. No, arsehole, it would be entirely incorrect to say “sheet of paper”

Ah the Russians! When I studied in Moscow we had a grammar teacher who knew a bit of English. She was trying to teach us to correctly pronounce the “a” sound. After several attempted she said “no it’s like the a in bus” Presumably she had learnt English in the south and unfortunately the most southern person in her class was from Hull

@semperIdem women always say “obrigada” in Portuguese regardless of the gender of the other person; it agrees with the gender of the speaker. (Literal meaning is “I am obliged”)

We have a very international team. Leads to lots of funny encounters where they don’t understand English ‘sayings’. It’s interestig when people start to use slag rather than more formal English.

A colleague came in the other week and said “I have caught the lurgey and I know what it means. The lurgey is a non specific illness like a cold”

Yup, bang on! Perfect use.

Another colleague said to us “I am lactating very badly today” and we fell about laughing. Turns out he meant he had lactic acid in his legs after running!

Thanks Jessie 😊

I remember being asked to explain to a Canadian work colleague that, every time he thought he was using the hand gesture for "two", he was actually giving everyone in the office the V-sign.

Even within England the names trip you up. My children, said Loughborough to rhyme with Slough (where they were born) and when I corrected them, they then thought Slough should be pronounced Sluff.

My favourites are when we go to New England and all the names are pronounced incorrectly. Berlin is BERlin, Milan is MYlin, Concord is CAHNcd, but Cornish DH's head nearly exploded as we drove into BOScawen, New Hampshire. He kept correcting everyone we met!

Also my dad spent a number of years in Europe writing multilateral treaties, he said the worst fights he had were with Europeans who had learned English at school explaining to him (a lawyer and former English teacher) as a native speaker that he was using English incorrectly. The nastiest fight was apparently over whether "will" and "shall" had different meanings or not - the Swedes insisted that shall had to be used in the first person, and that "we will go" is incorrect and the Dutch delegation agreed with the Swedes and it all got very shouty!!

There's one thing I love about Brazilians, they just roll with it when you make mistakes and lie to your face that your Portuguese is fantastic. I've made some serious boob-ups. I told someone that my husband had dug up some earthworms and left them on the kitchen table, and that she was welcome to take some hom for dinner, I asked the school for some knickers for my teenage son, instead of trousers, his mortified self was with me at the time, I told my neighbour that my dog had whores faces stuck on him when I actually meant ticks and the icing on the cake was telling mother in law that my husband makes my cunt blush. It's all good. Language learning is not for the faint hearted

My favourite mistake in welsh was the lady who tried to say she was freezing and instead said she was shagging. Rhyw & rhew is it?

I've seen a lot of eyerolling from 1st language English speakers when I was travelling around England with a Romanian mate. So many pursed lips as he did his best to make conversation, so many sighs and so few smiles and encouragement.

And btw, I don't think it's okay the way that some people are generalising Germans on here. They've been fantastic and encouraging with learners in my experience. It's not okay to tar everyone with the same brush just because they're from the same race...

I arrived in Germany in the early 90's without a word of german. That time very few people spoke english so I was really thrown in at the deep end.Most people were very patient but had a bad experience in The Body Shop. I was paying for something at the cash register and was asked 'Wollen Sie eine Tüte haben' or 'Would you like a plastic bag?'I didn't understand it and said so.The sales assistant went ballistic and started shouting her head off in english saying 'Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak german and then I wouldn't have had to repeat myself and waste so much time you idiot !Everyone in the shop went silent and just stared.I got such a fright I couldn't say anything , paid and went out totally flabbergasted.

Yes Shiterunner I would agree with that regarding Germans, the people we live around hardly fit any of the stereotypes - we're in Baden where the accent is really strong, people are generally tolerant about other German dialects and accents (Swiss come to the shops here and some of them speak Swiss German dialect just as if they were at home) and people have been... nobody's made a big thing about helping me or being helpful about my German but they all (even the ones who speak English) stick to German all the time and seek to include me in conversations, which is really what you need. And they're much funnier than the stereotype. (Swiss, on the other hand...)

Hey and while I am on Switzerland... dear Radio 4, BBC breakfast and basically all British newsreaders, Davos has a long o like in bone, and accent on the second syllable. If you make it sound like the name of a Dalek, you're doing it wrong!

I remember a very funny conversation with a French exchange student about what a fanny magnet was!

Good evening tossers",

^^

Weeps.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse
So please be patient with non-speakers of your language. They are trying their best. Having a conversation in a language you are not fluent in is really mentally demanding. These people are trying to communicate and are not 100% in control of how they come across. Not that anybody is, but hopefully you see what I mean. Don't take it personally if the intonation is a bit off, the word choice is inadvertently raunchy or the "please" is at the beginning of the question instead of at the end

^

EXACTLY! In perfect English, too!

Clitheroe
Barnoldswick
Oswaldtwistle
^^

Lots of fun with French DH with these

Many years ago,I was renting a car in England and asked the English woman at the desk for directions to Pangbourne (it was pretty close so she knew the location). Apparently, it was impossible to decipher what I meant from my pronunciation so I had to write it down for her.

I pronounced it Pangburn instead of Pangbourne. I still think she was a cow.

I was just about to ask how the heck anyone could mispronounce 'Clitheroe' but on second thoughts maybe I don't want to know.

I would pronounce Clitheroe as Clith-er-oh which I presume is wrong. The first syllable sounds like clit with a slight lisp.

I moved to France about six weeks before I was due to give birth. My French was not good and the only midwife I could find spoke no English. When she asked me which clinque I was booked into, for some reason instead of saying (sorry, can't do the accents) Clinque Bien Naitre (Good Birth Clinic) I said Clinque Bien Baise (Well Fucked Clinic). The midwife kindly said to me 'No, that is what happened at the beginning of your pregnancy'.

I've not had trouble abroad but some people seem to be less good than others at getting context from a misheard or mispronounced word. My MIL is dreadful not using context if something is unclear, and DH has his moments too. So in a conversation about preferred fruits they might hear bear for pear but not take the logical step of thinking before asking why bear when pear fits the context so much better!

Dying at "Loogabarooga"!

Even happens in English speaking countries. We were hiring a car in Canada and asked if it came with a SatNav. Blank stares while I tried to rephrase until I finally got round to GPS.

Didn't have one anyway.

The French midwife sounds like a good sort

The word 'focus' is an unfortunate one. A Spanish colleague once told us all to focus, pronounced 'fuck-yoos'. We didn't really after that because we were all terribly immature and sniggering... don't worry, we told him why!

I would pronounce Clitheroe as Clith-er-oh which I presume is wrong.

I live fairly nearby and that's the only way I've heard it pronounced.