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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3 children 3 and under

37 replies

dingledangles · 22/01/2019 05:53

My friend is due her 3rd by planned section next week and is freaking out! Please give me your experience of 3 children 3 and under. Looking for some practical ways to help her! Feel free to share the good, the bad and the ugly and I will filter what I tell her!!

OP posts:
dancingdirty · 22/01/2019 06:08

I had three under 2.5 and it was fine. I found as they were at similar stages it was like a nappy and feeding conveyer belt
It's hard work but I loved it.
Three teenagers though.....

Phillipa12 · 22/01/2019 06:09

My mum had 4 under 3.5 (twins then 2 singles) she said hard work for the first few years and you had to be very organised with a routine, but it got easier very quickly after those first few years. My sister does agree as she had dc1 followed 13 months later by dts, they are now all at school and life is much easier, she openly admits that they went through a feral stage when they were age 2/3, routine is the key.

knittedjest · 22/01/2019 06:27

I had 5 under 5 at one point (technically 8 under 10 at that time). I'm not sure if there really is any advice (besides get a nanny). You will need to be organised and get into a routine that works for you. We did a lot of things in lines. Organising the night before and bulk cooking on a Sunday morning. And toilet trained around 2 years old which cut a lot of the 'baby' time down.

PositiveAttitude · 22/01/2019 06:41

I had 3 under 3 for 3 months and totally agree with Dancingdirty loved it when they were little and went on to have another 2 - 5 DC with less than 6 years between eldest and youngest. Hard work, but loved it.

....... 5 teenagers at the same time, 4 girls and 1 boy was absolute hormone city gone crazy and definitely not to be recommended for a mums sanity. Grin

dingledangles · 22/01/2019 08:47

Thank you everyone!!

@PositiveAttitude and @dancingdirty talk to me about the teenage years for my own market research 😂 or is it best I don't know??? Ignorance is bliss?

OP posts:
livingthegoodlife · 22/01/2019 09:10

I had 3 under 2.5 too. It's fine. Lots of walks. Get a double buggy and sling. Help at bedtime would have been most helpful to me, either bathing the older two & PJ's & teeth. Or holding baby whilst I did bath time. At the end of the day everyone was tired including me and it often seemed overwhelming.

Imonaplane · 22/01/2019 09:14

I had 3 under 2. Help with going out was the most useful thing for me.

LondonSouth28 · 22/01/2019 09:17

I had 3 under 3. Agree with all above - help at bath/bed time is great if you can get it. Otherwise a sling to pop newborn in while you bath and bed the elder two. I run to a very strict routine - minimises melt downs due to fatigue/hunger. A double buggy - I have a Uppababy Vista - you can put a buggy board on it and it's effectively a 3 kid buggy plus has loads of storage. Organisation in terms of clothes laid out the night before, nappies close by at all times, food/meals prepared and a snack drawer full of options. TV - when the baby is needing 100% of your time the TV can keep the older two amused.

StrawberryTraveller · 22/01/2019 09:17

I would say making sure they do things together whilst small.

Bath time with all in the bath together, then one out at a time to dry and change. means bathtime is 30 minutes long, not 30 mins x3.

Bedtime have all three in one bed to read books together, then filter into own beds after.

When a bit older ie 4,5,6 years, try and do things like swimming lessons all at once, or activities at the same time. Otherwise you waste 3 evenings.

Bigonesmallone3 · 22/01/2019 09:19

My mum had 3 under 1, granted it was only a week but then obvs 3 under 2!
She went onto have 4 more so can't of been that bad :)

Whitelisbon · 22/01/2019 09:24

My dts were 2.3 when dd3 came along. As others have said, doing the same thing at the same time worked best. All eat at the same time, all bathed together, stories all together in my bed, out every day, no matter the weather, and CBeebies for when things were desperate!
It was total chaos for a while, now it's more organised chaos...

PositiveAttitude · 22/01/2019 14:59

Dingledangles I think the biggest shock for me when they reached the teenage years was that I had actually become a control freak and suddenly I had no control.
As a pp said i kept to a very tight routine to keep everything running smoothly and all of a sudden my delightful angels had minds of their own, raging hormones and would shout and scream at me for the most ridiculous reasons. There being 5 DC means that as little children there was always someone else to play with, which was nice, but as 5 teenagers there is always someone to argue with!!!!! I felt more like a referee than a mum.

Ignorance is bliss and when you are running around with babies and toddlers the teenage years seem so far away, so just enjoy the bliss and the hard work for now, but be prepared for taking many many deep breaths in a few years time.

Best thing about having them all so close together is that they can all enjoy the same sort of things together for family days out. Taking a teenager and a toddler out together must be a nightmare, but things like play parks, soft play, swimming etc they can all enjoy at the same sort of level and all together. It makes holidays simpler for that reason too.

And yes, out of the house every single day no matter what the weather. That's what kept me sane in the early years. Plenty of fresh air to tire them out and an early bedtime so that I had some time to myself in the evenings. (DH was working away from home 5 days a week) I would go back to those manic, chaotic, busy, tiring days in a heartbeat as long as they were not followed by the teenage years again!!! Smile

IdentifyasTired · 22/01/2019 15:22

knittedjest 5 under 5! 😵. Sounds exhausting!

Almostfifty · 22/01/2019 15:27

As previous posters have said, try to keep them all in the same routine, same bathtime and bedtime etc. It does help.

I loved it, it was busy, I was permanently doing laundry, but they were lovely together and played well as a group.

Goldenhedgehogs · 22/01/2019 15:36

Loved it for the reasons given above as I had 3 under 3 but I also found it very hard. I second taking them out a lot especially when you are tired or they are annoying you. i knew I would never smack my children when outside so if I was having an off day we would spend a few hours at the park. I never did smack my children or shout at them but there was days I was so tired and frustrated I really wanted too. I remember more than once falling asleep mid sentence when reading the gruffalo to be woken up by my child.

Goldenhedgehogs · 22/01/2019 15:37

Also if your friend can and wants to breastfeed does make life simpler as you can't forget the feeding equipment or loose it and there is no sterilising needed.

dingledangles · 22/01/2019 15:39

@PositiveAttitude I am a massive control freak, I love knowing where they are and what they're doing.. I really don't know how I'll cope with them being in charge of all of that 😳 you're right I'll enjoy the ignorant bliss for now 😂

OP posts:
dingledangles · 22/01/2019 15:39

Thank you everyone! I'll be passing on all your tips, they are things I did when I had newborns anyway regardless of how many others! Getting out most days, always a win!

OP posts:
dancingdirty · 22/01/2019 17:57

@dingledangles prob best i don't hahha
Ah tbh I had 3 rough year when they were aged 14-16 but it's settled. Two have apprenticeships, 18yo and 20yo
17yo should be off to uni this year. So I have just about survived

KennDodd · 22/01/2019 18:02

I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old. It was fine, great even. Speaking to others with similar aged children we all thought it was easier than having them with bigger gaps. I had no school run so didn't have to be anywhere early with them. I also didn't work, I think this was a really big factor making it manageable. Cant imagine how it would be squeezing a full time job in as well.

OutPinked · 22/01/2019 18:06

I had three in 2.5 years. Really tough few years, felt like I was on autopilot for the majority and it’s all a bit of a blur now tbh.

One thing I will say is routine is vital in order to survive. I had a fairly strict one I ensured we stuck to avoid over tired toddlers etc. It was fairly monotonous and life was a conveyor belt of dirty nappies, breastfeeding and weaning for years but I survived.

OutPinked · 22/01/2019 18:07

Should say they’re 6, 7 and 8 now and it’s a lot easier Grin.

Dimsumlosesum · 22/01/2019 18:09

It was hard for me but ONLY because my first born was very high needs and my dh was away for days at a time. Absolutely would never have it any other way now. They are best of friends. They look out for each other. They have learned kindness and sharing and empathy because of each other. It's honestly so so good now.

OwlBeThere · 22/01/2019 18:10

I had 4 under 3. I second the baby years being physically exhausting, but the teenage years are mentally the worst thing ever lol.

jessstan2 · 22/01/2019 18:20

Hoping this will not be your friend's third C section, women are usually advised to have a longer break between children if they have sections. Presuming it isn't, and she recovers well, she'll be Ok but will need support. Anyone prepared to lend a hand (quietly, not intrusively), and let her get some sleep will certainly be welcome.

I wonder why she had three babies so close together, not my business of course and the pregnancies may not have been planned that way.

Good luck to her Flowers. You sound like a good friend.

(Thinking about this further, my maternal grandmother had ten children in fifteen years - nine of them were within ten years! One was disabled. My mother was the youngest by five years and when she was small, gran took in one of her grandchildren, a boy, because she felt his parents (son and daughter in law), had too much on their plate. He lived with gran until he was an adult.

Tiny house, no washing machines in those days, coal fires & outside lavatory. Very poor. I wonder how she managed, not sure that she always did all that well but by the time my mum came along, things were easier and mum as the baby was spoiled. None of her children had big families and she encouraged them not to. Hardly surprising.)

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