To discourage some of my children's friendships based on parents FB posts!?

[Deerland]

With Brexit, discussions on migrants, refugees, social equality etc, our local community FB page has been pretty hair raising at times. As political discussions have heated up of late, I have been really shocked by some of the local parents views and venomous hatred that spills out. We are a family who sit very much on the remain side of the fence, and are pretty left wing. I am so shocked by how right wing some of the other parents are when cards are laid bare. Now I mean my question relatively tongue in cheek as I would always encourage my children to be friends with as a wide a set of people as possible, but I'll be honest, I find it really changing my view of certain people and feeling more reluctant to respond positively to play dates etc.
Whichever or wherever you sit in this debate and whatever comes of it, I can't help but feel serious damage has been done to our country in terms of the divisiveness of it all.....

I may have done so. Not for politics or racism but because she wrote something about ‘if my child punches your child then they deserved it’ or words to that effect when her DC we’re in reception with DS1. I was aghast and that made me decide to politely avoid her and her DC.

YABU. The majority of voters voted to LEAVE. There is nothing wrong with that. Are you planning on ensuring your child doesn't mix with the majority of the general public...

Pink as far as I was aware Leave didn't automatically mean racism and hate... I am friends with people who voted leave and remain - its the venom and hatred that underpins the views of some I dislike, not which way they voted.

I wouldn’t base on leave.
But I wouldn’t allow play dates etc if the posts are based solely on saying mean things about immigrants etc

It isn't the majority of the general public, PinkGin. 34% of the eligible electorate voted to leave. And it's pretty universally accepted that less than that would do so now.

I wouldn't keep my children away from leave voters' children though, we discuss politics a lot in this house and I think my children are capable of forming their own views and holding their own if necessary. DS2 in particular doesn't agree with us on lots of issues, so it would be even weirder to try and filter his friends to suit our agenda.

They'd be unlikely to be comfortable associating with racists and bigots though. I guess it depends on your children.

I think a lot of leave posts I've seen have made me wary of the parents and their "views", especially racist ones.

Yabu. I completely disagree with that approach. First off, the kids themselves have done nothing wrong. Why effectively punish them for the sins of their parents? Also if you and the rest of us lefties decide to ostracised all those kids then how will they ever be exposed to any opposing views to their parents? I mean, I'm not suggesting you invite them over and attempt an intervention but as they grow older they may well naturally hear discussions and attitudes that are more open and tolerant than those they hear at home - and be influenced by them.

I also disagree strongly with trying to keep our kids in some kind of safe bubble where they only encounter the same people as their parents. How does this prepare them for real life and all the different folks they'll encounter?

Lastly, all I really require from the parents of my kids friends is that they are welcoming and provide a safe space for my kids to be in. They don't need to be people I would like and socialise with.

It would depend just how far to the right they were. Dressed in white robes burning a cross? Then I wouldn’t have her near them. Spouting the kind of immigrant nonsense splashed on the daily mail like my mum does I’d just make sure I provided the balance.

I don't discourage friendships, but there are kids who's houses they aren't allowed to go to on the basis of their parent's wildly racist Facebook posts.

YABU dragging kids into it

That's ridiculous

No - I wouldn't keep my children away from Leave voters. I would very definitely keep them away from anyone espousing extreme right wing views, admiration for Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, praise for Donald Trump and a desire to see Nigel Farage back in charge of anything more politically taxing that a stagnant pond full of dead fish.

Naturally.

I would still invite the children on playdates at my home, but I would be more wary of my DCs having contact with the right-wing or racist parents, TBH.
My teenage DD has had some very right-wing teenage friends. 1 of them had an (apparently genuine) ambition to get a job in the development of nuclear weapons. Another was very pro both Brexit and Trump. Luckily DD seems to have resisted their views. I would probably be less tolerant.

Now I mean my question relatively tongue in cheek as I would always encourage my children to be friends with as a wide a set of people as possible, but I'll be honest, I find it really changing my view of certain people and feeling more reluctant to respond positively to play dates etc

Well which is it?! You can't have it both ways. Unless by "wide a set of people as possible" you mean people like you.

I'm very fond of some people in the village who have opposing politics to me. Most people here are Remain though. My area is largely left wing and remain like me. The only time there was genuine political friction here was during the Indyref. That got heated at times and even households were split and passionately so. I never felt the need not to socialise or not let my kids socialise with anyone.

Having said that, if anyone shared a Britain First post on FB I'd want nothing to do with them.

All the left wing people I know who want their kids to have a wide range of friends usually mean:"any class, race or culture as long as they are not Tory, Ukip, Gammon, nationalist, sun-reading, daily mail reading or Jeremy Kyle watching

They mean "a wide range of people who are just like us"

Friends of mine voted leave, having come to a different conclusion from mine on the basis of disingenuous or insufficient information on which to base the Brexit decision. Some who voted 'Leave' now say that with hindsight they'd be in the remain camp.

Some 'leave' votes were motivated by unrepentant racism. Some weren't. A difference of political opinion is one I'd have no problem allowing my child to be exposed to: it's healthy and it's something he will need to get used to throughout life. I have a low-tolerance threshold for ignorant, closed-minded racism and won't have that around my DS if I have anything to do with it. And if I don't deem it a risk to my personal safety, I'll take issue with it openly if I encounter it in public, too. To do otherwise is to be complicit.