I got married last July and whilst I wanted to do something, I tried to appreciate that my friends and family were at different points in life than me - some had more / less money, some had kids, some were older than me and some lived 2-3 hours drive away.
I decided on 1 day - no overnights or weekends and in the UK. I gave them 6 months notice and all costs up front.
I decided on tank driving in the morning and afternoon tea in the afternoon with an option to continue drinking afterwards. The tank driving meant it was 'different' as I didn't want 'traditional' feminine things and the afternoon was for people who didn't want to do tank driving (My Mum tried, but she's nearly 70, bless her) or potentially had an injury but liked the idea of tea and cake.
I made it really, really clear that they could 'mix and match' - so they didn't have to attend the whole day, but could attend one or both events, or just join us for drinks in the evening, the only thing I asked was that if they committed, they paid me - even if they didn't turn up as I paid for everything up front.
Some friends did everything, some friends did one event and some apologised but said they wouldn't be able to come due to childcare...... I'm still friends with all of them.
In terms of stress - some friends said they'd come and then pulled out with 1 week to go so I was gracious but asked them for the money as I'd been very explicit about things when I booked events and they accepted they had said they were going to come so did transfer the money to me.
Other options for 'different' could be axe / knife throwing? We had that thrown in... and watching my Mum throwing axes was legendary 