To raise this with the school

[Kookey]

Hey all, I'm completely prepared to be told I'm overreacting, perhaps I am. I'm still learning about school life so bear with this.

My DD is in Reception, has settled in really well since September and has made some lovely friends. As far as I'm aware her Reception class all play outside at lunchtime and mix with the older kids from other classes in the playground too. My DD has been talking about an older boy she plays with for the last couple of weeks who I believe is in year 4. I think it's a bit of a crush really as she talks about him all the time and how she wants to marry him when she's older which is quite sweet. However, today she came home and told me that he kisses her on the lips along with one of her other friends but only when the teacher isn't looking..! I've gotta be honest, my first reaction was for the heckles to go up on the back of my neck.
I told her that I'm really pleased that she's made lots of different friends and of course she can play with this old boy however she mustn't kiss him or let him kiss her especially if there are no grownups around. She seems completely crushed by this news and I feel so sad.
Was I am reasonable for telling her that?I
honestly don't know whether I'm overreacting or not, would you view this as innocent play? My DD's an only child and I have no experience of how 8 year old boys play, It just seems a little weird to me that a boy four years older than her is kissing her on the lips in the playground when no one is looking!! I don't want to be 'that parent' but wonder whether or not you would bring this to the attention of her teacher? Tia 😊

Definitely bring this to the attention of the teacher.

If I’m honest I would find that unsettling too. I am mother to a 4yo and an 8yo who are worlds apart in maturity etc and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my young 4yo being kissed by a much older boy.
Yes he’s still a kid himself but this seems very odd to me... the fact he’s interested in playing with a girl so much younger than him and also there seems to be a sexual undertone
Does he have any SEN and maybe doesn’t understand boundaries and thinks he’s just showing his kindness and appreciation?

But yes... raise it with the teacher

Op get straight into the school for god sake!

It's a major bloody issue m it's not playing its abuse!!

Neither party may not realise that it is but it is!! Act now, act quickly make sure all people know about it

Don’t hesitate, raise it straight away with school.

Thanks for your replies, I will speak with the school first thing..

Look at it this way. It’s not exactly great for the boy either is it? This is no way to behave. The school needs to be told so that they can address his behavioural issues. You told your dd the right thing imo but make sure you raise it with the school so that they are aware of his problem.

you must raise it with the school.
It is not normal for an 8 year old to lip kiss liek that, which suggests that he himself is being exposed to something inappropriate.

It really is important, as it is a safeguarding concern.

I would also have a quiet word with reception teacher about lunchtime play, and ask if your dd can been kept and eye on and supported in playing with her own age group

Raise it. Innocent or not (and it doesnt sound entirely innocent as he and friend know it must be hidden) it is not appropriate and needs to stop.

I have a year 4 boy and he would have no interest in a reception age girl let alone want to kiss her on the lips. I definitely would speak to the school.

I have a Year 4 boy and neither he not any of his friends would do anything remotely like that - it’s wildly inappropriate and a bit weird.

I would also assume learnt behaviour and worry about abuse (as in him being the victim of abuse - all NT 8/9 year old know that that isn’t ok, unless they have been taught something different..).

Definitely flag it - that doesn’t make you ‘that’ parent, there are lots of things that would do & no doubt you’ll cringe as you watch ‘that’ parent do them over the coming years. All you are doing is being a good parent (especially if you voice your concern about the boy - don’t blame him, but definitely ask them to ask exactly why he might behave that way..).

Definitely raise it. I was the same in Reception with a boy in an older year called Bradley , I remember it fondly but he certainly never kissed me.

The lunchtime attendants should be monitoring more closely.

Thank you to all of you for taking the time to reply, I will take all your comments on board, I'm very grateful 😊

Probably innocent but I too would raise it with the teacher in case. I don't really think it's an apropriate game for he boy to play with a child so much younger. It's probably just innocent on his behalf but he should still be made aware that he's crossed a boundary.

Don't raise it with the class teacher. Ring the office as soon as it opens before school and ask for an appointment with the safeguarding lead (call them this if you don't know who it is) when you drop DD.