To not go out with my friend?

[sallyballyboo]

My friend is having a bad time since her boyfriend dumped her,suffering depression etc.
I myself haven't been great with anxiety and I've been avoiding things more than usual.
Friday night she's said we are going on a night out and going to a club,I said il have to see what money I've got and how I feel but it's like she didn't hear me and just said I was going.
Dancing till 2am in a packed club really isn't my thing so I said can we meet at 6pm and go for tea and cocktails and a gossip.
That way she gets out the house and I don't have to stay out till 2am and the thought of that Is giving me lots of physical anxiety symptoms.
She's taken the huff with me and said I'm selfish.
Am I ?

No you’re not being selfish. YANBU.

No way. I much prefer your idea.

No, YANBU, it’s not selfish to decline an invitation clubbing if, for any reason, you dislike clubbing or late nights

No you are not, do what you feel comfortable with

I've got commitments the next day too and I can't be rolling in 2am and getting up at 7.
Where she can just lie in bed all day the following day.

No, she is.

No YANBU. It sounds like she’s not thinking beyond herself and her own situation at the moment. Can you hold your nerve whilst she (hopefully) gets over her huff, and realises that other people don’t have to do exactly what she says?

I wasn't even suggesting coming home early.
I was thinking about 10pm
So that's still a good night out I think.
She mentioned that her ex deffo wouldn't be out Friday night ..part of me thinks she wants to go out to bump into him and I'm just a convenient person to go with.

One good piece of advice I've picked up since coming on to Mumsnet is that 'No' is a complete sentence. If you don't want to go, you shouldn't let yourself be pressured by your friend.

You're trying to help her, that doesn't mean she can dictate what you do!
Let her huff, stick with what you feel comfortable.

Your friend is being unreasonable. You didn't refuse to go, she's still going out. It's selfish to expect you to go clubbing (my idea of hell these days, 37) when you have to be up at 7

You are not being selfish, if she doesn’t like your idea of going for a meal & cocktails tell her to do one - the cheeky mate.

Given the choice, I would definitely pick food and cocktails over holding up the wall at a minging nightclub. Eeeew

I'm 34 and it's just not my cuppa these days.
I suggested going to the theatre as wicked is on but apparently that's tragic ha ha.

You would have to drag me kicking and screaming into a nightclub. I'd rather have a smear test.

Cocktails is a lovely compromise. You are not being selfish at all.

You've given her two great suggestions for a nice evening out. She's just got fixated on the idea of clubbing.

Thanks everyone.
Just wanted to make sure it's not me being boring.

You're not being unreasonable, but to be fair, you haven't explained why you don't want to go and your friend is not a mind reader. She is, presumably looking for a night out that might give her ego a much needed boost. You are looking for a night out that will not aggravate your anxiety. No right or wrong here. Just explain.
Your offer of a low key evening is not likely to be what she wants, which I expect is a lot of alcohol and a fair bit of flirting to get her over the boyfriend. Let her know that you are not good at that, don't dress it up with half-truths and lame excuses