Aibu?

[bigspagbol]

Grandparents aren't as involved as I'd like them to be. I just feel they aren't bothered. They complain that they would love to see them more but they're busy with work. They've got more money than my husband and I and I've left work. They say they want a bigger house etc. Which is fine but they shouldn't say they would like to but can't. Everyone has a choice. I'm heartbroken as I thought they'd be more involved. They want to come over to play with them but I'd rather they go for a walk so they can see their grandkids and I can have 5 minutes.

Didn’t you post this yesterday?

Sorry I don't really understand.
Do you want your parents/parents in law to be more involved with your children, but would rather they didn't come by your house to see them?
Also, I don't really understand about them wanting a new house.

Sorry. I maybe just have pregnancy brain.

Unfortunately the ideals of a nice dgp are rare ime. And mn too it seems by all the threads of late!
My mil totally snubbed ds and told everyone we had cut her out!!
Have you asked them outright why they don't want to see them alone? Lots of reasons that may seem logical to them!. Maybe they aren't confident in doing so /don't want to be seen to not want your company/enjoy all together/ime a sil waiting in the wings to produce golden dgc was the issue years ago for me +dc.
Maybe so just a cowbag like my mil!!
Discuss it, nothing to lose imo.

If they are still working, then I assume they are in their 50/60's and still in fairly good health?

They want to come over to play with them but I'd rather they go for a walk so they can see their grandkids and I can have 5 minutes.

So they do want to see them, but they arent doing what you want them to do? You cant have it both ways. What you actually want is someone to teke the kids away for a bit - so ask them for some over nights etc.

You reference money, its your choice to have given up work.

Are they your parents or your in laws?
Why don't you ask if you can pop out for a bit while they are at yours playing?
How old are the kids?

Do they want to come over or not? It sounds like they are asking to come over.

So they are bothered, they’re asking to come play with the children but that isn’t what you want them to do?

YABVU

People get older later these days. 60-80 year olds are still out there working and traveling and lunching with friends and going to the theater. They aren't ready to settle back down and be active grandparents. Respect to them.

Yabu, I suspect they cannot win. If you want them to take them out , is there a local park or attraction. Maybe all go along first time so they know what is where and can follow your lead on what the dc can do. Can you not have 5 minutes with them playing in garden or another room?

What does the money / house have to do with it?

It sounds like they would be more involved if you let them come to you. Maybe they can build up to taking them out. It should be more about their relationship than giving you peace tbh.

It sounds like they want to spend time with them but you only want that if it's essentially free childcare.

It is unclear whether you are referring to your parents or your in-laws.

Why do you object to them coming to your house to play with their grandchildren?

My parents have never been hands on grandparents, rarely involved with their grandchildren. Not disinterested entirely, just liking to keep things at arm's length and stay in their own little bubble. I knew it would probably be like this, and I accept it. We don't live near them anyway.

@Sirzy Yes, she did

Let them play with the children for goodness sake.

What on earth were you expecting?

Also, I am confused about what their money situation or size of house have to do with it??

They are working, you say. So they only have certain hours free and you don't like that?