Are you one of those people who...

[Turniptracker]

Is always invited to do stuff by your friends?

As of today I am officially completely done with having to constantly be the person trying to organise to meet with friends, who is constantly having to deal with last minute flakes and drop outs and being generally disappointed by complete lack of being bothered by my friends.
I even have those who say, hey shall we go to the cinema? We have to go for lunch. And when I say I'd love to they never proceed with the organising. Did I miss the memo where that mental load was constantly on me?
Sorry big rant but I am really fed up today

I feel you. I stopped arranging and now don’t see those people.

TBH - I hate people trying to arrange me all the time. I take a week off work to do things for me; I have at least 12 people wanting my time which mean I actually have no time for me.

I never get a down day, I'm always expected to be at meals and outings, I have to explain why I don’t want to go and justify it, it’s utterly wearing. I wish people would stop organising and accept that no everyone wants to be martialled round.

‘No’ might be a complete answer in MN World but in real life, it’s rude.

So if you want to go to the pictures - then go - just stop trying to drag everyone else along.

Yes, I'm one of those people. I just don't want to go out at night, sorry. I'll arrange coffee catch ups through the day or meet up with kids at the weekend or even a morning run but I just don't have the energy to go OUT. I never suggest it and I avoid invites. If I'm cornered I might be vague. I always hope the plans will fall through. I like people but I like my bed more. I'm dead on my feet by 7pm.

I am but I rarely say yes. I often screen calls because I know who is calling to arrange stuff.

And I have less money than my friends seem to think. DH has a good income but my 3rd mat leave has finished and I've not gone back. My disposable income is low as it all goes on kids' shoes and swimming lessons and the like so "let's meet for dinner and drinks somewhere nice" fills me with dread. Don't start me on bloody £500 hen weekends either.

And when I say I'd love to they never proceed with the organising

Assert yourself. Say “that would be lovely, text me with the arrangements”. It makes it clear it’s their turn.

Really good to hear from the other side actually. Although want to clarify that "out" meant do anything, hang at a house as much as going somewhere really. Just spend time together, not spend money really. You guys are really lucky to have people who care about you and want to spend time with you.
I think realistically the next step is to just leave it and any time someone asks to do stuff I will be more assertive in being clear i expect them to organise it

No I'm not an organiser, but I did tell one friend who always makes a point of trying to include me (I rarely go) that I do appreciate being asked and her thinking of me. Made us both smile