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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that loyalty in girls teenage friendships groups, is a thing of the past..

63 replies

Bluechair · 21/01/2019 10:30

So if a teen has broken up with a guy, is it ok for her 'friend' to start dating him a day later, if he asks her friend out? What is normal these days? It was an unspoken thing, when I was teen that you didnt go there..

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 21/01/2019 13:18

She is 15.
She dumped him.
After only 6 weeks.
He asked out someone that she’s not even close friends with.
That person, despite not even being her close friend, offered to say no.

So where is the lack of loyalty here?

  1. No, dating hasn’t changed that much. But everyone’s friendship groups and rules differ - whether that be in 2019 or 1989
  1. It’s actualky pretty childish to have a “rule” about not dating exes.
  1. Your daughter is being really childish and needs to get over herself
  1. Your daughter is 15, so I’m not even being critical with point 3! Grin Just part of growing up

I think that you need to just step back and stop trying to compare your own dating experiences.

  • girl dumps boy
  • not isn’t that bothered as it was only 6 weeks and he’s 15
  • boy asks other girl out
  • first girl feels a bit put out as no-one likes to feel easily replaced

It’s just every day drama now, and it was in 1989 too.

bringbacksideburns · 21/01/2019 13:20

My dd was also 15 but they were together for six months.

Tbh I think her friendship with this girl was on the wane before this happened. There seems to be some element of jealousy there on this girls part as she seems to have pursued all dad's ex bfs. My dd has gone on to wish them luck and stayed friendly with them but it's not the same.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 21/01/2019 13:25

All the girls were 'friends' at our school, it was quite small. If you didn't date your friends exes, you wohkd literally have to just pick one boy in year 7 and thay wohkd have been it until 6th form!

EmeraldShamrock · 21/01/2019 13:28

Don't be to hard on your DD. It is very typical teenage behaviour, beside things always look better when they are out of bounds.
She will probably have a new crush next week.

Sparklesocks · 21/01/2019 13:32

I wouldn’t say it’s new, there were similar squabbles when I was at school 20 years ago. Teen girls are often hormonal, insecure and still finding who they are – throw boys in the mix and it can all get a bit frenzied. A lot of young girls validate themselves with attention from the opposite sex. Not excusing the behaviour at all, but I don’t think it’s unique to this generation.

goldengummybear · 21/01/2019 18:48

I have teens. Which end of teenagehood is she? My kids have lots of stories like fuckboys who date one girl for a lesson then asks another girl during the next. (Fuckboy is how they describe boys who act like this)

It's not a recent teen issue imo. There's always been boys who enjoy asking out girls and as many girls who will accept any boy asking them out. Dating your ex's friend/relative/nanny/employee... happens in the adult world too. It's the worst and she will eventually get over it- poor girl.

Original poster
Bluechair · 21/01/2019 20:34

She is early teens. He is not a fuckboy at all and it was her who finished with him, twice. To update , my daughter came home from school today to tell me that the girls in general were disgusted with her ‘ friend’ who is now dating my daughters ex boyfriend . My daughter does not seem to care too much and seems in good form but her ‘ friend’ is now getting a hard time from the herd, despite my daughter telling them that she has no problem with the whole thing( lie: she is hurt and embarrassed that he moved on so quickly)so it’s interestong to read about previous posters experience . This is all new to me but I’ve learned a lot too today

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 21/01/2019 21:09

Your update is a bot mean spirited. You are overly involved, it comes across as your DD is the matriarch of the group.
Is it really necessary to single out the now ex friend, teach her to get over it you win some you lose some.

Original poster
Bluechair · 21/01/2019 21:34

Mean spirited??are you joking? ? I am updating posters who advised here earlier today on what happened and how things have been today... that is all. I think that this whole drama is ridiculous and is all new to me . My daughter is way down the pecking order in this group... way way down ... so I thought it was interesting, if not shitty, the way these young teen girls work these things out. Singling out the ex friend? What do you even mean by that?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 21/01/2019 21:41

What are you on about golden? How many relationships is one allowed in a year with what gaps to avoid being labled a "fuckboy"? If a girl behaved like this I presume you'd label her a slag? Hmm

Ellisandra · 21/01/2019 23:06

Feel sorry for the new girlfriend, getting a hard time from the “herd”. That’s just fucking nasty - and what happens when you have childish crap rules about not dating friend’s exes. After 6 weeks Hmm

james0 · 22/01/2019 08:19

This reply has been deleted

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Ringdonna · 22/01/2019 08:38

Ffs, teenage girls are such drama queens.

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