To think that working for 40+ years straight with never more than two weeks off is a bit crap?

[NewYearNewName111]

Occurred to me whilst reading the SAHM thread that many (most?) men work for 40+ years without ever having more than a two week break from their work environment.

Obviously, being a SAHM mother can be extremely challenging and I'm not contesting this one bit. But it is a change of environment.

Most people I know only get 28 days leave, some of which they need to hold back for Easter, Xmas, etc, so holidays exceeding a fortnight are rare.

I've never really heard this discussed before but the more I think about it the more I'm irked by the prospect of another three decades in an office without even a month's escape!

YANBU and it's why I decided to go freelance after maternity leave. I just could NOT face a life tied to a company which wasn't mine.

I choose my own hours now. It's taken me 10 years to get to this point and I'm certainly not rich but I make a living and I'm only beholden to myself.

Certain men like to work dodge after having kids so they don't have to pay for them granted not everyman but not everyman works for 40+ years my dad started full time at age 13

Maternity leave wasn't 'time off' for me. Working full time is much easier. I do like my job though.

It was time off for me!

Not just men but presumably women also who do not have children and therefore don't have a maternity break - which I think it was you're referring to?

I agree it's very depressing. But you do have options - you can freelance, set up your own business, work part time around something else that could bring in an income, try and get a rental property together and take a sabbatical. I know these all sound pie in the sky but they really aren't if you want it badly enough.

MrsTerryPratchett

I don't think it's about work though - as the OP says, more a change of environment or working conditions or life focus.

I agree, OP, but I tend to be one of those wistful, let's buy a small holding! Let's run a pub! types who wants to run away from it all. I would love to have a change of focus, no matter how hard the work.

I am at the stage where I look forward to motherhood changing things, rather than dread it. The amount of work isn't a factor (though the stress and loneliness are).

I am a man. I have never looked upon it this way, as I tend to have one week off at a time and spread them out throughout the year. Though I did have four months without work, which was not time off to say the least, given I did not know when I would be back in work.

Well running a pub is the last thing you should do if you want a break.
Very very long hours, almost impossible to take time off, more likely than not to go bust and lose thousands.

Men can also take paternity leave and more should do so if we want to get away from women being the default parent and the one most likely to disappear from work for months at a time, or always being the one who takes time off to deal with sick children etc.

Not everyone becomes parents, so it's probably a minority who actually take extended maternity leave.

Many employers give more than 28 days leave (I get 41 including bank holidays) and many also allow extended leave or sabbaticals with enough notice. We can take up to 3 weeks from our paid leave allowance at a time as a matter of routine and more subject to agreement.

Several colleagues have also taken 3 to 12 month sabbaticals, but that is unpaid and subject to approval/planning etc.

Many people don't want to take more than two weeks off anyway. I'm perfectly happy to take holidays a week at a time, and would rather have several smaller chunks of leave, than being away for more than two weeks all in one go.

I've been in my current job for 13 years and I've never taken a two-week holiday. I come back to so much work after one week, I'm not sure I'd ever catch up after two weeks.

I was employed for 15 years before I set up my own business. To get through the boredom and drudgery, I just changed jobs every 2-3 years. Never been in the same place for more than 3 years - changing jobs, rising through the ranks, moving industry, etc., is as good as a break. By putting myself about a bit, it gave me the contacts, experience and confidence to start up my own business, which I've been doing for the last 20 years. After 2 years working anywhere, I just got bored and demotivated and knew it was time to move on.

ShatnersWig depending on what you do for a living you might find that two weeks off is actually less problem to come back after than one week.

My role is office based. If I am off for a week then all the things which werent important before I went away will have turned into a crisis with everyone having stood back and said 'Gnome will sort that out when she gets back next week'

If I am off for two weeks then people have to sort things out for themselves.

@Gnome Ah, you have "people". I don't have "people". I'm the only full time person where I am and other few are part-time and can't do any of the things I do. So everything literally waits for me to come back to. It usually takes me two weeks just to get through all the emails after a week off. This doesn't mean I couldn't have two weeks off, it's just more hassle than it would be worth.

You could retrain perhaps if it's causing you problems

I don't know anyone who stayed in same basic job for 40+ yrs with never more than 2 weeks change of environment. Not even my grandfathers or G-Grandfs and their male relatives.

Many employers give more than 28 days leave (I get 41 including bank holidays) and many also allow extended leave or sabbaticals with enough notice

I think most jobs that generous annual leave and sabbaticals as a perk are going to be harder to fill niche roles or more senior/higher paid or they will be public sector roles. That kind of holiday allowance is not typical for most jobs, especially lower paid roles. So 40 years of work with 22 - 25 days annual leave with a max two consecutive weeks off is more typical.

No wonder people get fed up of the drudgery!

Personally I’d like to see more moves to a four day week, flexible working hours and locations, allowing employees to make more use of unpaid leave. I know businesses won’t or can’t p want to offer this as standard however, so I’m not sure how we get there. Overall, I think most people want to work but want more balance and say over their working arrangements and get back to a place of more balance.

28 days holidays is definitely not a lot, which is why people spread it across the year. However many employers don't really stop people from taking the entire allowance in one go.

Looking on the bright side, many Americans only get 20 days and this includes all public holidays!

Many employers give more than 28 days leave (I get 41 including bank holidays) and many also allow extended leave or sabbaticals with enough notice

Who are these "many employers"? I don't know anyone who gets 41 days including bank holidays or anyone that has taken a sabbatical and I know people in all sorts of professions and hierarchies of jobs, including some very senior directors or some very big household names.

I'd never really thought of it like that!

There is more provision now for more extended breaks from work for those that can afford it. (Shared parental leave after a baby and unpaid parental leave until DC are 18, plus some companies allow a sabbatical or career break after 10 years or whatever of service). There's also always tips online about how to maximise annual leave for example I think you can use 9 days leave to get 18 days off this year as Easter is late?

I do appreciate some industries and roles don't lend themselves to this though!

Many employers give more than 28 days leave (I get 41 including bank holidays)

So you actually get 33 days of holiday. I know quite a few people who get 30 days and one who gets 35, so I think it is becoming less unusual.

Nope - it is crap. It's why I freelance. None of the benefits of working (holiday/sick pay/pension) but the freedom I get to work where and when I want is worth it to me.

Where I work we get 20 days plus bank holidays, 10 of those days must be taken at Christmas, which leaves 10 days to take when we want or when we are sick or have Children, we only get statutory sick and maternity and this is very typical of the sector I work. Good luck with your 41 days but please don't assume this is the norm

I'm a woman and worked full time in the civil service for 33 years, and never had more than 2 weeks leave at any time. I got lucky and retired at 50 on pension, but if I'd continued to age 65 I'd have worked 48 years!
Its not just men who have such long working lives - lots of women don't have children.

Meh, DP and I are saving to take a year off and travel the world when we're about 27. We don't care about a big wedding and already own our house so want to do this instead.
Most things in life are a choice.

I'd certainly like to take six months off as a sabbatical in about 8 years time. Whether work will allow it or not I have no idea.

If they don't then I don't think I can take the time off as I have my dream job and it's a very niche position. There's literally only a couple of positions available within a decent commuting distance and I can't see that changing. I can't walk away from my job for a six month holiday.