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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Netflix (Abducted in Plain sight) Warning :Triggering. Spoilers.

50 replies

ItsameAmario · 20/01/2019 21:57

AIBU to think Jan's parents were weird as fuck and he Dad seemed to enjoy recounting things a little too much?

I found the whole thing bizzare from them not reporting her missing for days the first time and weeks the second to them allowing a man to sleep in her bed?!

The mum sleeping with the pervert and the Dad too.

The whole thing was so disturbing.

OP posts:

GerryblewuptheER · 23/01/2019 17:09

God I saw this yesterday was weird as hell

They were suspicious but allowed her to go with him on her own all the time.

Both the mum and dad at it with the guy.

Not reporting her missing.

The dad seemed more disturbed and upset at the fact he touched him. And the fact he betrayed his wife with him than the fact he abducted their child.

I have to say I felt the parents cake across as complicit.

They cared more abkut keeping their dirty cheating secret than telling the truth when it came to the pervert

Raffles1981 · 23/01/2019 17:53

The way her mother spoke about her time with him, I was thinking she cherished her time with him and actually remembers the affair fondly. It's just the most bizarre thing ever.

Pk37 · 23/01/2019 18:14

WatcherOfTheNight I saw this last year .
That woman was pure evil and it’s not really surprising her daughter did what she did .
Saw her in an interview recently and she looks so much better

QueenofWhisperz · 24/01/2019 18:04

I think this was all sooooo fucked up.

How could anyone care more about their reputation vs the health and safety of their child?

RitaConnors · 24/01/2019 18:11

It blew my mind that they didn’t report her missing. She was locked up in a bedroom with him ‘slowly inserting his penis just an inch at a time’ and they were just at home not reporting it to the police, going to work and lying to other people about where their daughter was.

ChainVaper · 24/01/2019 18:16

My DH and I watched this last week .... totally shocked at how naive the parents were ... then the dad gave ‘B’ relief!!!! WTF???? Absolutely shocking account and very sad for poor Jan .

Mouseville65 · 24/01/2019 18:24

The affair was not only after he abducted the daughter - he also married her at just 12 years old in mexico and a few weeks later her mother starts shagging him?! I mean WTAF 😮

Sausagefingers9 · 24/01/2019 18:27

Had to turn it off, it was awful. Those parents neglected their child beyond belief!

I love a true crime doc but really can’t stand anything to do with peadophiles. Just makes my skin crawl.

RitaConnors · 24/01/2019 20:18

The mother sent her back to him as well. Driver her to the airport and sent her twelve year old to a man in his forties. The dad was ‘mad about it’.

LeSquigh · 29/01/2019 06:33

I very rarely am lost for words or actually gasp out loud at the tv. But fuck! I don’t even know where to begin.

Original poster

ItsameAmario · 29/01/2019 14:49

Unfortunately I think Jan still has her head in the sand about her parents behaviour.

She's written a book with her mother and promotes it? Can't she see her parents have a lot of guilt on their shoulders for what happened?

'It was a different time' just doesn't cut it.

OP posts:

Pk37 · 29/01/2019 16:01

I agree, I’d be so angry with my parents for allowing this to happen , which they did, numerous times!

Fabaunt · 29/01/2019 16:04

I think they knew about what he was doing and especially the mother, was happy to go along with it once she could keep seeing him

Northernpowerhouse · 29/01/2019 16:13

Agree, it was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I actually thought Jan seemed more balanced than the rest of them, particularly after all she had been through and how her parents failed her. She is either in denial about her parents or for her own reasons has decided to forgive them.

newnameforthis7 · 29/01/2019 16:26

Hmmm I kind of agree. I don't want to 'victim blame' but some of this was very odd.

I couldn't get my head around the behaviour of the parents. And as the OP said, not reporting 'Jan' for several days, and then even longer the next time. And the mom shagging the weird 'family friend' too.

Didn't know the dad slept with the pervert! I must have missed that bit.

BartonHollow · 29/01/2019 17:07

Not sure if he admitted to going all the way, but he certainly admits at one point to wanking him off in a car at his own suggestion!

Original poster

ItsameAmario · 29/01/2019 18:40

I think it was more than once and prolonged as one of the FBI men said he engaged in a sexual relationship with both parents

OP posts:

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 02/02/2019 14:47

I'm watching it now and they are all in tears and more devastated about the parents getting divorced than what happened to Jan! The Jan stories were all told wistfully and with the mother doing that fucking ridiculous smile while she thought back to sleeping with B.

They are all fucking nuts

Andromeida59 · 02/02/2019 15:40

I think ultimately the blame lies with the neighbour. He groomed the entire family from the parents to the children. He obviously picked this family because of their naivete.
He had also abused several young girls but that was not apparent until years later. Of course, it's possible that the parents of those girls were unaware but it's also likely that other parents were also groomed. It's unlikely that the techniques used on Jan's family had not been honed whilst abusing other young girls.

BartonHollow · 02/02/2019 16:44

It's not that B isn't to blame ultimately, of course he is, however :

The parents

allowed him to share her bed four times a week for six months in contradiction of their claim they were concerned he was fixated
didn't phone the police for 5 days
Dropped all charges
Drove her back to him at age 14
Both had sexual relationships with him

So I'd go with 50/50 blame

The only true victim in the scenario is Jan

divadee · 02/02/2019 17:01

I was shouting so loudly at the tv when I watched this. The children should of been taken away from the parents. They were complicit in the abuse in my eyes. I was almost as angry at the parents as I was at the B guy. Gah I have all the rage again typing this.

thefourgp · 02/02/2019 19:30

He tried it on with two other young girls before and both times the parents had intervened and protected their child. Jan’s parents served her up on a platter. I couldn’t believe it when her mum put her on a plane to go spend two weeks with him. I agree they purposely looked the other way whilst he abused their daughter.

Lana1234 · 02/02/2019 20:21

One of the maddest documentaries I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen a lot. It was just brushed over that the dad gave the guy a hand job in the car and the mum slept with him whilst letting him abuse their daughter, like I am baffled by these people and their naivety. I could have reached through the phone and slapped the mother across the face when she was talking to him “Oh hi B” get a fucking grip and protect your daughter. Think the daughter btw is an incredibly brave woman.

OffToBedhampton · 02/02/2019 20:42

It was such a creepy documentary . You could feel the FBI officers barely concealed anger & frustration with her parents. Totally neglectful and complicit in his abuse- fgs he kidnapped their 12 year old to Mexico and told them he'd married her!- to cover their own sexual relations with him.

Poor child. The story he told her about The Mission was scary. Poor child.

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/02/2019 20:46

The parents should have been locked up for basically pimping their child out to a paedophile.

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