To not know how to brush my toddler's teeth

[sunnyfields25]

Hi, I thought I might get a bit more traffic here than in parenting, and I'm desperate!

DS is 20 months old and had been generally fine with having his teeth brushed, other than a few rough spells, with the assistance of kids' videos on a phone to distract him.

But now he won't let us near his teeth. We're taking the softly, softly approach for fear of it turning into a battle of wills and making it more difficult in the long run. But I'm starting to think where do we draw the line... One day, two days, one week, one month... Surely we need a cut-off point where we have to pin him down because his teeth haven't had a proper brush in ages?!

Anyway, here are the things we've tried:

Songs and TV programmes on a phone as distraction
Hand puppet brushing teeth
Choosing own toothbrush and toothpaste
Electric toothbrush
Taking it in turns
Brushing our teeth
Brushing teeth in bath
Sitting in front of mirror
Being extra quick
Trying to do silly faces and noises

If anyone can think of a trick we haven't tried then please throw it at me - we've run out of ideas!

Thanks

I’m afraid we used to hold DS down at that age. He’s now 6 and absolutely fine having his teeth brushed and gradually doing it himself a bit. He got used to it quite quickly. Twice daily thorough toothbrushing is absolutely non negotiable in our house.

I had to pin down and just get on with it. I found wrapping in a towel so the arms couldn't interfere and then singing a song (saw supernanny or similar) singing "we went to the animal fair", when it finishes you stop, that way they know that it's going to happen but they know when it will end.

My now 5 year old DS was a nightmare until very recently. Most of the problems seemed to be the toothpaste, rather than the brush or the action etc. I have tried pretty much all of them out there, including normal (non-whitening) adult ones and he said he didn't like the taste of any of them. We have finally found one that he will tolerate - it's the minions one in a squeezy tube with a circular lid. It's made by Colgate.

I did literally pin him down for every tooth brushing until only a couple of months ago. It is non-negotiable. I have said to him that I will win every argument on this and it now seems to have sunk in. He will now stand quietly at the sink with his mouth open for the full 2 minutes. It has taken a lot of patience and alcohol to get to this stage, and have gradually built up to the 2 minutes. When he's been cooperative he has got lots of praise and extra books etc. Hopefully the battle is won!

Good luck OP. Start as you mean to go on. You'll get there!

As previous posts we had to wrap ds in a towel for a good few months. He's now fine. We have battle at nearly 4 where he wants to do it all himself which they can't until at least age 6.
There are some things that I don't negotiate with and teeth brushing is one of them.

The only thing that worked for me (and it REALLY worked) was keeping up a running monologue along rhe lines of “ooh, what’s this? You’ve got monkeys stuck in your teeth here DD, we need to brush those out “Ooh oooh, eeeeh eeeh”, that’s better, oh but i see cows too on these teeth at the side, better brush them out, Moooooooooo....” etc etc
Keep on inanely adding animals and noises until you finish the teeth, then declare them an animal-free zone for the night. Kept DD entranced and actually keen for teeth brushings!

Wrap in a towel/blanket - every day twice a day 😂

I also have a 20 month old and I sit on him. Still can't get a decent scrub half the time but at least I can say I tried

Mine has been up and down about toothbrushing, sometimes insisting on doing it himself, sometimes completely refusing, sometimes placidly allowing it. Mostly I don't try to do it in the bathroom but catch him when he's playing/read him a book at the same time, so he's so busy concentrating on something else he barely notices what I'm doing.

Also counting works sometimes (we'll count to 10 while we brush then it's all over!) and at the moment (he's nearly 3 now) I ask him if he can feel germies wriggling on his teeth... Really darling? Let's brush them off! Ooh I saw that one jump up top let's chase him away! Think that works because he's currently obsessed with the gingerbread man running away.

You pin them down. I used to stand them Inbetween my knees while sitting down and clamp. One arm bent at the elbow over chest with hand doing the goldfish face and then brush. If they screamed all the better... Wide open gob.

Some things are none negotiable, it's far more traumatic for them to have dental treatment than a minute of screaming.

We used to pin down, I was shown by a friend who’s a community dentist how to do it.

Look on you tube, how to brush a child’s teeth in 60 seconds. You legs are over their arms so they can move them but not grab your hands

We only did this if they didn’t cooperate, and as they got older it was a choice of pin down 😯 or let us do it.

When they do cooperate more a tooth brush each helps.

PS I’m a dentist...

Our 15 month old is happier if he does his own! He kind of chews on the toothbrush and rinses it himself etc - he seems to prefer this... and the dentist said it’s more about forming good habits at this age rather than actually having really clean teeth.
Although - he does only have 6 teeth! And only drinks water or milk and hardly eats sugar.

Until dd was about two we used a chewy silicone toothbrush, pop a bit of toothpaste on and give it to them to chew on for a bit. Dentist said it was fine and her teeth are lovely. Started with a proper brush just after two I think.

Mine had the option of being pinned down or having their teeth brushed sitting up. Eventually they started to choose sitting up 😜

Also, if they are screaming it does actually help get the job done faster... 😳

Headlock. Also silly stories about finding bits of toys, animals, friends in the teeth. Anything to make DC laugh.

I find those things work on rotation but I also pin down if DD is refusing; she tends to accept that ok. Also a recent peppa pig episode and accompanying book seemed to motivate her a bit more too.

Something like this

Does he have a favourite aunty/uncle/grandparent etc who could come and assist for an evening? DD has a particular aunty who she would do anything for and I'm afraid I totally abuse this fact. "Oh you don't like your broccoli today? But I know that broccoli is aunty P's favourite and she'd be so pleased if she knew you'd eaten it all up!" 😁 Works like a charm.

If it were me, I'd be asking DS's favourite person to please pop over and brush DS's teeth one night, make a huge fuss about how important it is and how clever he is for doing it and how much "favourite person" absolutely loves brushing their own teeth etc etc. Then hopefully you can just refer back to this, "remember how uncle/aunty XYZ said it was so important? I bet they're cleaning their teeth right now too" etc

OP, I think you need to choose between either stepping up to your role as a parent and enforcing tooth brushing, or giving in and accepting that you will have to take your child to the dentist for extractions when the inevitable dental caries develops.
There are lots of things that kids object to - eating greens, going to bed at a reasonable hour, having a bath, tooth brushing. They’re not negotiable, and you need a policy of being firm, consistent and taking no nonsense. Praise DC when they cooperate, but don’t let them get the idea that they are in control or can call the shots. That’s your job.
Once they know the boundaries, they’ll stop pushing!

This is my specialist subject!

My daughter will not have her teeth cleaned when she is teething. We don’t want her to have negative associations with it, but like you fear that it could end up being a long time without brushing. We have tried everything it feels.

The only thing that we have found to work is the Jack and Jill silicone tooth and gum brush, which has been brilliant. We smear toothpaste on both sides and she happily chews on the bristles, which covers all of her teeth. We have tried other silicone ones but this is the only one she will take at the moment.

superfood-market.com/products/n0316-jack-jill-silicone-tooth-gum-brush-stage-3-1-x-single?variant=12389244272719&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3eG665v93wIV7bftCh0mBAhtEAQYBiABEgL2XPD_BwE

Also DD really loves the Wiggles toothbrush song which DH has downloaded. I think it might be an app actually. Could be worth a go.

Another one saying headlock.

I let dds brush their own teeth. When they were babies they’d chew the brush and toothpaste. As they got older we’d stand and brush our teeth together so they’d follow the procedure.

OP, I think you need to choose between either stepping up to your role as a parent and enforcing tooth brushing, or giving in...

It's not really a matter of failing to "step up" with things like this. It's just a question of handling it properly. That's why OP is here asking for advice. For some kids, if you don't handle this kind of thing carefully, you can create deeply negative associations for them. For example, if you start pinning them down to clean their teeth some children will associate having their teeth cleaned with feeling afraid, panicked and overpowered. So something that was just a temporary issue can become a much deeper rooted and serious aversion. The OP is being sensible in asking for ideas.

Yep yep yep, pinning them down plus wrapping in towel plus singing songs... ALL of the above, but don't worry, it doesn't last forever, I think we were through it by 4 (?). DS 1, now 19, also now has lovely cavity free teeth. So with hindsight probably worth it.

Pin him down. Lie in bed. Brush teeth.

Positive options -

Tooth fairy stories
Tooth fairy is friends with Santa
Competition. Brushing race v daddy
His turn first