Aibu to be devastated that DH had changed his mind about DC2?

[moretractorsplease]

Hi,
So, we have one DC aged 2. I lost a baby last year and we agreed we'd try again but wait a bit (due to various life events). We agreed to try in the New Year. There was no doubt in my mind that DH didn't mean this.

Come just before Christmas I mention this and remind him about trying in the new year, thinking that actually we could just crack on with it and start before Christmas. This started a very awkward and long conversation where he admitted that actually he didn't want a second child at all. Needless to say I was devastated.

I didn't mention it over Christmas so as not to spoil anything but I've been extremely down since the conversation, crying most days. I brought it up again today and he's still saying he doesn't want another. When I asked why he said he just doesn't, said he loves DC1 but doesn't really want any more and said it was expensive too. I tried to a argue that it wouldn't be that much more expensive, we don't need to buy anything, we have everything from DC1 and we would never pay two lots of nursery fees. I told him I was devastated and have been crying all the time. Told him how unfair he's been on DC1 not to have a sibling and also on me, misleading me. Nothing would sway him.

I love DH and don't want to leave. I'm in my late thirties too and have no desire to meet anyone else and have DC2 with them (nothing against anyone who does, I just don't want this). But I can't see how I can go on with someone who I'm going to resent. It's always going to be an issue.
Has anyone else been through this and come out the other side?
Anything I can do to convince DH?

Also, as an aside to AmIRight orAMeringue, I also find I'm not as good with young kids as everyone else seems to be. You are not alone! And my eldest is 8 now, everything gets easier after the age of 4 or so

And your DH need to realise how much he has hurt .
I think this is a bit off. I'm sure he does realise that the OP is hurt but he has every right to his feelings and every right to change his mind. It's good he's been honest imo. OP can't make him want another child, however upsetting it is.

He is not being unreasonable to have changed his mind.

You are not unreasonable in being upset.

You are being unreasonable to accuse him of misleading you if he has genuinely changed his mind. People of BOTH sexes change their minds on this subject due to life events or discovered what having a child involves.

You are also being unreasonable to tell him how unfair he's been on DC1 not to have a sibling. Children don't have a say on whether they have siblings; many siblings don't get on; only children are not mentally scarred for not having a sibling and rarely go through life resenting a parent or parents thinking them unfair for not giving them a sibling,

Counselling, counselling, counselling.