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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is unfair re school dinners/packed lunches?

63 replies

Lolpoololpoo1 · 20/01/2019 17:41

Dd is 7. Her school is supposed to be a 'healthy eating school', she used to have school dinners for a while but stopped because they were quite expensive and she didn't really like them.

I always send her with what I think is a relatively healthy lunch, nearly always has a piece of fruit etc
Well on Friday I decided for a treat, it isn't like she has this every day, to give her some of her Christmas chocolate in her lunch.

She came home from school with the chocolate untouched, she said she hadn't been allowed to eat it, and a note about making healthy choices with a link to stufd about that on the government website.

Obviously I wasn't too pleased about that, kind of felt like school were undermining my authority?
But then we had DD's friend over that evening- she has school dinners and apparently for school dinners that day they had fishfingers, chips and fucking cake with custard!!

Found this out as we fed DD friend Friday evening and she didn't eat much as she had had such a large lunch!!

I'm all for healthy eating but AIBU to think that if DD is not allowed chocolate then the school dinner kids should not be allowed cake? Surely that's a lot more unhealthy and also double standards?

OP posts:

BifsWif · 20/01/2019 17:42

YANBU, but someone will be along to disagree soon I imagine.

FevertreeLight · 20/01/2019 17:43

Almost every school has a no sweets rule. Yous ent your child to school with chocolate in her repacked lunch.

The cake and custard are low sugar.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 20/01/2019 17:43

Has cake actually been sent back?

If only confectionery, then you are not comparing like with like.

Boysandbuses · 20/01/2019 17:45

I don't have issue with the no sweets rule. I do however have a problem when the school is serving cake custard while having this rule.

This is the reason, our school isn't too strict on packed lunches. They are far more reasonable about it that most schools.

BillywilliamV · 20/01/2019 17:45

Oh, just dont put chocolate in their school lunches, they have to react. Why make life difficult? Gicve her chocolate at home. Problem solved!

Cauliflowersqueeze · 20/01/2019 17:46

Depends what their policy is. If they have said they don’t want kids bringing in chocolate then that’s that.

I expect some might otherwise bring in just chocolate to eat, or only eat the chocolate and leave the sandwich. Then you’d get all the kids eating school lunches saying they’d prefer to have packed lunches, eat chocolate and that’s it.

I think it’s fair enough. She can eat the chocolate at home. Having a balanced lunch followed by cake / custard is different from having the option of that or just eating chocolate. Staff end up being lunch police.
Easier all round for everyone to have school lunches probably.

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2019 17:46

While I do agree I try not to provoke the lunchbox police by not giving actual chocolate - I do send chocolate mini rolls occasionally or Oreos as well as fruit and a sandwich.

wendz86 · 20/01/2019 17:46

The cake at my daughters school is made out of vegetables and things to make it healthier. Might not be as unhealthy as it sounds.

ColdCrumpetsandButter · 20/01/2019 17:48

Our school meals have pudding such as ice cream with smarties and chocolate cake with chocolate custard and chocolate buttons.

Blondie1984 · 20/01/2019 17:50

Custard is actually a good source of calcium....

TheBestThingsInLifeAreFreee · 20/01/2019 17:50

I'd be pissed off too. Fair enough if everyone else was eating healthy but to deny her a rare chocolate treat when the others are being fed chips, cake and custard is ridiculous.

tashac89 · 20/01/2019 17:51

I got a letter home for yogurt covered raisins. You are not alone in your mum rage.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 20/01/2019 17:53

The cake at my daughters school is made out of vegetables and things to make it healthier.

What if a parent sent in a beetroot/courgette chocolate muffin in a packed lunchbox though? I doubt the child would be allowed to eat that as how would the staff know it had veg in it?

Genuinely wondering, my eldest starts school in Sept so I have no idea. Their school all infants get school meals and they have basically 100% uptake so I probably won’t have to worry about it!

PhilomenaButterfly · 20/01/2019 17:53

But at least all your schools allow packed lunches.

TrickyKid · 20/01/2019 17:54

Have you ever tasted the school puddings? They put a lot less sugar in so they are healthier. I know what you mean though, a little treat of chocolate in a packed lunch should be fine.

EwItsAHooman · 20/01/2019 17:57

YANBU.

I had the same issue with eldest DC. Sent his packed lunch in one Friday with a brownie bite as a little treat, one of those one inch by one inch bite sized things. It was sent home in a plastic baggie with a letter informing me it was not acceptable for any cakes, sweets, or biscuits to be included in packed lunch. The pudding for school dinners on a Friday was (and still is) melting chocolate pudding with chocolate pudding.

Oopsusernamealreadytaken · 20/01/2019 17:58

Our school sent home a note about half a homemade cookie the other day.

They serve up sausage roll with pasta, fish fingers and chips, pizza and wedges, sponge cake and custard, cookie and ice cream. But apparently I’m not allowed to put a half a homemade cookie in their very nutritionally balanced lunchbox.

It’s about time school meals are scrapped, that’s a whole other thread though 😬

00100001 · 20/01/2019 17:59

If they serve cake and custard (low sugar or otherwise) they should allow cake and custard unpacked lunches!

Gotstuckwiththisname · 20/01/2019 18:02

My DD's school must be very lax then, because I send her in every Friday with a small chocolate treat and I've never heard anything about it!

FunshineCareBear · 20/01/2019 18:03

It's not comparable. They aren't giving them choc bars are they?

Personally i haven't experienced a school who would refuse a child cake in their lynchbox. That would be hypocritical when it's served with hot dinners.

Most schools don't allow sweets, choc or fizzy pop. There's no need to send it in. Give it to them at home uf you're so desperate for them to have it.

Asj0405 · 20/01/2019 18:08

Always thought this was ridiculous. Mine always want school dinners as they are fed fish fingers, chips, pizza, chicken nuggets etc with cake and custard or ice cream with sweets. Then they go back to class and are handed sweets as a reward or for some ones birthday (nothing over the top but a small bag of Haribo).

They come home and are given fruit, meat and veg, wholemeal pitta and salad, jacket potatoes type things with the occasional treat. I wouldn't say I'm a health freak nor over the top with junk food, I never complain about what they are given at school I just balance it out with healthier foods at home.

However.... I did take offence to the teacher that wouldn't let my daughter eat a packet of mentos I had put into her pack up on her school trip when

My eldest at the same school had been advised to take something of the sort on her school trip for the bus the week before
My youngest who had been denied the mentos had sat and watched her friends eating cake bars and chocolates (which apparantly were fine)
The rest of her pack up was super healthy
My daughter was given a massive!!! piece of rock and a chocolate lolly and a bag of sweets from the factory they had visited that day from the school

I mean ....

I am all for teaching kids to be healthier but when the school think they have the right to undermine you and then not practice what they preach, I'm at a loss

FevertreeLight · 20/01/2019 18:08

It’s about time school meals are scrapped, that’s a whole other thread though

You do realise that many families and children depend on school meals?

That is a very 'let them eat cake' response.

Beeziekn33ze · 20/01/2019 18:10

We had a note about a Bourbon biscuit.

ClanoftheCaveBear · 20/01/2019 18:13

If you had sent a chunk of HM cake or a custard pot would that have been judged to be OK?

Lifeisnotsimple · 20/01/2019 18:13

This is the policy in our school, no sweets but eating ice cream, puddings, custard and in the summer they are able to buy those ice pops. Im not bothered about it cos my ds can eat sweets at home. I think the schools should be teaching about balance more than restricting sweets. I think if you tell people you cant eat something they want it more.

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