My son told me he wants to vape like daddy!!

[JKCR2017]

Hi all, I have DS 7 with my ex. I know kids come out with all sorts of things. But DS told me today that when he’s older he wants to vape like daddy. DS also has additional needs so doesn’t full understand like other children his age might.

I’ve never smoked, or vaped so he never see this type of thing at home. I’m clueless to what vaping actually is (obviously I get the basic idea)

I keep telling him no. But he is adamant. I know he’s only 7 and very young but should I mention it to the ex? Tell him to stop vaping near DS?

I’m sure my ex has took DS into the vape shop too. (I mean was that really neccesary, he only has him for a few hours a week and has plenty of type to buy whatever he needs).

Would be unreasonable to ask him not to vape, talk about vaping or anything around DS and definitely not in the shops. DS keeps spotting vape shop advertisements and asking if we can go. What the hell?!

Tell him it’s for grown ups only and would be bad for his health because he’s only a little boy

YANBU to be angry, but you can't force him to be reasonable. This is just common or garden poor parenting on his part, it doesn't meet the threshold for abuse or neglect.

To be fair your child could say that about anything drive like daddy, eat chillis like daddy, box like daddy... anything. Tell him it’s for grown ups and he can do it when he is 18. Yab ridiculous.

Thank you. I should of mentioned in my post that DS has additional needs (autism). He is 7 but pretty immature for his age, he didn’t speak until 4/5 and his understanding of the world isn’t where most 7 year olds are! He would understand about being for grown ups but probably not the health part yet 🤔

‘No darling, it’s a disgusting habit.’ Works well on our children when they start about these things.

I think you just need to say it's an adult thing and leave it as that.

Haha! Calm down.

He'll probably want to drink like mummy, daddy and granny too.

Kids are like that.

Well children can’t do that, it’s for adults. And leave it at that.

I used to pretend to smoke like my grandad as a child. I have never smoked in my life.

I really wouldn’t read too much into it

I never said it made him a bad parent but when he only has him for a few hours a week surely he just vape out of sight (garden). Or wait until DS is at home with me?

So leave him unsupervised when you have said he is immature due to his autism?

Tbh this just reads as you wanting an excuse tonhave a go

My ex could leave DS inside with his Nanna (he always take him to his Nanas when he has him!)

Tbh this just reads as you wanting an excuse tonhave a go

Yes, I'm trying to work out if that's the case, or if the OP over reacts to absolutely everything?

I am not looking for a reason to have a go. In fact, I let a lot slide with him. Me and the ex haven’t been together for 8 years (split when I was pregnant) and I don’t look for reasons to have a go at him. Hence why I am asking if im being unreasonable on here 😊

Maybe I do over react. But when I’m a mother who is trying to raise my sen son as best as possible.. worrying about the future. You do worry a lot!!

OK then yes I think YABU and quite over reactive.

Adults can do tons of things that kids can't.

The kids accept it just as we did when we were kids.

Just tell him it is a bad habit that some grown ups have, but one that you hope he will never start. Tell him why it is such a bad idea.

My parents have always been heavy smokers. They smoked around my sister and I as children and didn't hide the fact that cigarettes were bought by my mother and tobacco for my father (a pipe smoker). They did, however, drum into us never to start smoking. It may have been pure luck, but neither of us have ever smoked.

I know vaping is controversial too, but I think I prefer vaping to the stink of second hand smoke that I had to grow up with, and which I still get when I visit my now very elderly parents.

Explain to him how vaping and smoking are not desirable, and hope that he never does it (no absolute guarantees there though).

As for the "vape shop", I don't think you can ask him not to take DS into one. Most newsagents, supermarkets and corner shops here all sell vaping paraphernalia, as well as everything else. You would perhaps be more reasonable to ask him to explain to DS every time they are in there just why it is all such a bad idea and not something to get into in the first place.

Well at least he doesn't want to smoke like Daddy?back in the 70,s they actually sold sweet cigarettes and pipes

My ds nearly 5 wants acrylic nails like mummy haha it's just a passing phase I should imagine.
Maybe on the sly tell him vaping makes your hair fall out, that will put him off !

I used to pretend to smoke like my Dad too. He had a huge collection of different shaped pipes which were mostly ornamental but used very occasionally. Sometimes I would run around as a toddler with several of them that I had got hold of hanging out of my mouth. They were always empty.

We are talking of the late 1960s. Things were often viewed very differently back then. I have never smoked in my life and never had the desire to.

You are not overreacting. Kids pick up bad habits from their parents. Do as I say, not as I do, is not useful.

Sadly, there is not much you can do to improve your ex’s parenting.

x2boys, I remember the sweet cigarettes too.

They were in very realistic packets and we loved them. We used to have them in the school playground at primary school. Different times!

Both me and dh smoke and out of 3 dc only one started.
As long as you educate him as to what smoking is, he'll make the right decision when he's older.
Atm he wants to be like Daddy, maybe think of other things he could do like Daddy as smoking is for grown ups, and it takes all your money and makes you ill.