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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Did you feel super wealthy when going from part time to full time?

33 replies

BlueSatsuma · 20/01/2019 14:31

A dramatic thread title but hopefully people will understand what i mean.

Have worked 3 days a week since my children were born, im a teacher so fairly high stress in those 3 days.

My youngest is due to start school and the natural step is for me to go full time again.

The big draw of going full time is the money! There are many other reasons why staying part time would be better for me, severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. If I go full time,the stress would undoubtedly aggravate my illness. HOwever the other part of me thinks if I could just use buck up, I’d have more money to afford nice things for my family.

My gut instinct is I’ll go full time again and immediately or very soon will be off with illness and that would not go down well with the school.

I really struggle with being ill, it has taken me a long time to accept that I’m not making it all up. I also inject with methotrexate every week which makes me feel so depressed for a day afterwards and wiped out for at least 2.

So my question, would you choose money and quality of experiences for your children and just try to push through or working part time?

Honest views please. I’m feeling really fragile today and anxious about the future.

OP posts:

ImNotKitten · 20/01/2019 14:37

I think with a stressful career the fact you are managing 3 days a week already is brilliant and I’d be wary of rocking the boat in terms of your health. With the conditions you have I think you risk a relapse if you just push through?

wizzywig · 20/01/2019 14:39

I think work within your physical limitations.

trilbydoll · 20/01/2019 14:41

Compromise on 4 days, or even 3.5? Extra money but still a bit of wiggle room?

Arkos · 20/01/2019 14:42

I don't have your health issues but currently work 3 days. I am considering keeping my 3 days and then picking up supply as and when I feel like it. I think I'll also try and keep one day a week free for housework etc.
I have no intention of ever working full time in one position/ school again.

Craft1905 · 20/01/2019 14:43

Not really, it wasn't until I won the triple rollover Euromillions jackpot that I felt super wealthy.

WineGummyBear · 20/01/2019 14:44

In the circs you have described I'd stay where you are.

It's not really an improvement on your current situation if it takes a massive toll on your health.

OutPinked · 20/01/2019 14:48

I also teach and am considering going PT because the extra money from working FT is mostly wiped out by childminder fees and I’d find PT a lot less stressful.

Babyroobs · 20/01/2019 14:48

I am currently going from 3 days to full time and my kids are teenagers. My new employers count a full time week as 34.5 hours though which is a bonus as it's only a 12 hour a week increase for me. I also have some health issues and hoping it will be manageable. I will be home based so hoping that can make things more flexible. I think if I had health problems like you I would stick to 3 days.

Bamchic · 20/01/2019 14:49

There are other options that would be better than ft imo.
Speaking as a teacher with health problems
You could keep 3 and try and get 2 days on supply/as a ta/ cover supervisor etc
You could go from 0.6 to .7/.8/.9 (with ppa you’d in theory have a whole day not teaching on 0.9
Full time teaching is crippling- it was brutal when I was young and spritely and had nothing else to do.
You have children, a home, and health issues.
F/t isn’t worth it. Teaching is the best job I’ve ever done. But I have made sure I don’t burn out.
Be kind to yourself. If you can get by, you shouldn’t f/t

seven201 · 20/01/2019 15:27

I'm a teacher currently doing 4 days. My dd is still at nursery but I will be staying at 4 days when she goes to school as I want a bit of a break to do the cleaning and life admin and also it's your only chance to do school drop off and pick up. If I could afford to work less days I would. Stay at 3, at least at the beginning. You could always do supply.

madyogafan · 20/01/2019 15:35

If I were you I would definitely stay part time. As long as you are managing financially your health and quality of life are far more important than money.

dangerrabbit · 20/01/2019 15:40

Stay part time because you will have more time on the weekends and holidays to spend with your children. A lot of the financial difference between going full time may be taken over with tax. You could always do some tuition to make extra money if needed?

SandysMam · 20/01/2019 15:44

You might not want to say OP but what is the difference in take home pay? How much do you get per month for 3 days, how much for 5? Sometimes with tax etc, increase in student loan, full time isn’t worth the extra stress. You sound amazing for what you are managing already.

Waterlemon · 20/01/2019 15:49

I’m a PT teacher, DH earns an average salary (skilled trade). More money would always come in handy, but for me It’s not worth the extra amount of stress trying to juggling the work/life balance.

If you can afford it, stay PT

Fr3d · 20/01/2019 15:50

No, I've done the sums a few times. Wages will go up a bit obviously but taxes and childcare will go up too. So I would have a small amount of extra money for a large increase in working hours. With the extra stress and tiredness, I know I would spend more on convenience.

Chocolatecake12 · 20/01/2019 15:56

In your circumstances I would stay as you are. If you had extra money would you be well enough to enjoy days out with your children? Would the extra money be enough?
I’ve just gone from pt to ft but have very different circumstances to you. My dcs are both in secondary school so no childcare costs. I don’t have health issues.

Waterlemon · 20/01/2019 15:58

Actually, I’ve just re-read some of the earlier replies, and i think the role makes a huge difference.

I have a friend who teaches at 2 different schools - she does 2 days at each. She job shares a class at one school and teaches a subject at the other. (Primary)

I’ve done PPA cover, and although I did my own planning I didn’t have to do data, reports or parents evenings.

I just don’t think I have the stamina to be a FT classteacher - and I have no health issues and am relatively young!

AllChangeNat · 20/01/2019 16:21

I'm in a similar situation (although not considering going back to work full time!) If I were you I would definitely stay part-time. There's no point having more money but then feeling too ill to enjoy it. Also the extra two days isn't just two extra days of work, but two extra days of drop-offs, pickups and rushing around in the evening trying to get things ready for the next day.

I presume you take your methotrexate on a Friday evening (so that you can feel ill over the weekend while you've got someone around to help?) If you were to work Monday to Wednesday, for example, could you change your methotrexate day to Wednesday, feel rubbish Thursday and Friday child- and chore- free then start to feel more alive by Saturday and just have a quality time with your family.

You could always go full time in 2,3,4 years once you've recovered from the physical strain of having young children and broken sleep but you'll probably struggle to go up to full time and back down.

Good luck!

thetwinkletoescollective · 20/01/2019 16:22

I worked three days a week (three years ago) and I was at my healthiest and happiest. It was partly that feeling that gave me the confidence to go for a full time promotion. It was a significant pay rise and primarily not classroom based. (some class teaching).

Within weeks I was stretched beyond my reserves and it went down there from there. I have done some fabulous work with a fabulous and supportive team but I have suffered terrible headaches and migraines and spent weeks and weekends recovering in bed.

If I would be able to go back in time I wish I could have told me these things:

Part of what makes you so healthy is the work/life balance that you have. It gives you time to eat properly and exercise regularly.
To need stillness and sollitude is part of you. It is neither good nor bad. But when you don't have the chance to rest regularly due to external pressures and expectations it won't go away. It will find another way to come out (and in my case enforced rest due to migraines - which are not restful).
No amount of money will be worth what I gave up in terms of my health and the impact its had on my family and my dh.
Find a different way to make more money/learn to budget better.

This is my experience. I am finishing full time work in April and going back to part time. I am hoping that I will find my way back (or forward) to that healthy person I was before.

Good luck with your deliberations!

Original poster

BlueSatsuma · 20/01/2019 16:50

Thank you to everyone who has replied on this thread.

I like having the ability to share the workload and stress of the job. Be been suffering from anxiety and panic recently (so not like me!) if I’m honest I think it’s the dread of how I’ll cope being full time. Just don’t think I can do it.

The doctors tell me that with my Illnesses, I need to keep active and walk everyday. After a day at school, I have to come home and sleep.

I’m torn, i want to contribute more to the family but I want to be a good mum with the energy to help the dc.😕

OP posts:

sdaisy26 · 20/01/2019 16:55

Don’t do it!

I made the mistake of thinking with my youngest dc at school I could do more hours, so went from 3 to 4 days last term (primary teaching). It nearly broke me and thankfully was only temporary for a term so now I’m back to 3 days and we are all so much happier.

For me I was focussing on the fact that dc would be in school so that time was ‘free’, but forgot to account for the extra planning another day teaching would need, extra marking etc and on 4 days being totally responsible for the class really in a way you aren’t in a more equal job share. It meant having to work every weekend and as dh is also a teacher we would end up not really seeing each other as we took shifts with the dc on weekends to both work. On 3 days with the dc at school I can get my work done during the time they’re at school and in the evenings.

I really didn’t notice the extra money, I had less time & energy for things like meal planning so we spent more there than we do when I have headspace & time to properly think about it.

The dc love it now I’m doing school runs 2/5 days and that time after school together gives us more time for homework, reading etc again leaving more free time at the weekends.

It will be a long time before I think about working more hours again!

I think in a different job if it were just 9-5 and nothing to do at home / weekends that would be very different, but it isn’t the reality of teaching unfortunately so it’s important to factor in those extra hours that need fitting in when thinking about what will work best for your family.

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 20/01/2019 16:58

I think you know what you need to do.
Nothing is more important than your health.

TheNavigator · 20/01/2019 17:02

I have to say, it made a massive difference when I went from part time to full time - when our youngest started secondary school. The disposable income for much better holidays and weekends away and treating everyone is just fab. Plus I am overpaying my pension to compensate for all those part time years.

But it is tiring and I am in robust physical health. Only you know whether you would cope.

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 20/01/2019 17:02

Just to add. I work two days a week and would not trade time and less stress for a few extra few pounds. Maybe look at budgeting if you want to free up some cash..

YellowStickRoad · 20/01/2019 17:02

I went from 3 days to 4 days and yes I feel much better off financially! But as you have health issues I wouldn't if I were you. Maybe offer to cover other teacher sickness at your school? Then you'll get the occasional extra day or days and a bit more money, but without the permanent pressure.

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