To send DD to the party?

[ginpink]

My DD has an October birthday. The school wouldn't give out a class register list so at the time I didn't know all the names of all the kids in her class. There was a limit at the venue she chose if 25 kids to attend in total so I just invited a handful of kids she asked to invite from the class and some family friends.

Since then the class have gelled and parents have shared a class list between us.

I now feel guilty as my DD is being invited to parties of children we didn't invite. I always RSVP yes and send DD. I feel bad as we didn't 'return the invite'. I plan to invite them along to DD next party next year.

But I would also feel bad not sending her as you see those kids on Facebook where no one turns up.

I'm over thinking this aren't I? But what's the polite thing to do!?

I'm assuming your DD is in her first year at school.

You are overthinking.

I'm secretly glad when one of mine doesn't get an invite to every party, as we spent a fortune on birthday presents the last few years.

Unless you exclude one of her closest friends, who is likely to expect an invite, it's totally fine.

It's the same with play dates. I invite kids to our house a lot, because I work part time and it's something the kids love doing.

I don't even think about who is returning the play dates. It's not a reciprocal arrangement. Some parents work full time, have multiple activities, simply hate having other people's kids in their house.

I invite because my kids enjoy it, and that's as far as I think about it.

Same as there are some only children in the kids classes, who often invite one of mine to go on an outing with them, they've admitted it's because it's easier to entertain their kids when they have a friend.

We don't have space in our car for another child, so can't take friends on outings. I don't get wound up about it. We always pay our share so don't feel the need to fabricate an event to reciprocate

The way I see it for birthday parties is that the social 'contract' for each invite is fulfilled by attending, good behaviour and giving a thoughtful gift (or cash if that's the norm in your area). Birthday parties shouldn't rely on reciprocal invites because it is not possible for every child to have a party that can be considered 'equivalent'.

She has been invited because she is wanted at the party. Fulfil the arrangement by letting her go (if you want to accept) behaving well (not being a cf with bringing along siblings or whatever) and sending her with a nice card and gift.

Stop overthinking!