To ask how much "me time" you get in a week and how you use it?

[pantyclaws]

I'm struggling with juggling stuff around the house, a demanding part time job and two children with various health problems, alongside looking after myself. I get between 1-2 hours "me time" (i.e. not working, looking after children, asleep or cooking/eating) most evenings between 9 and bedtime, and then if we have no plans, a few hours at the weekend when DH takes the children.

This time also has to be used for chores/life admin, anything that needs doing round the house, exercise (ha - what exercise), hobbies, socialising, occasional extra bits of work I need to finish, online grocery shopping etc. Basically everything except parenting and eating.

My mental health isn't good at the moment and I feel a permanent sense of overwhelm and subsequently demotivation on the time I do have - there's just so so much to do, all the time. By 9pm I just want to flop.

Is this just how it is with DC (who don't sleep v well), a DH (who more than pulls his weight but works long hours) and a part time job?

I don’t get this current obsession with ‘Me time’. I would rather spend my evenings and weekends as a family.

That said, I work full-time, run a business and a family. I get up at 5 am and sit on the balcony reading and setting my intention for the day. And drinking lots of coffee! This 30 mins is my Me Time, I guess.

Twenty minutes in the morning to shower and half an hour in the evening when I cook dinner and put the radio on. DH is back at work, I have back 7 week old velcro baby who even wants to nap on me and doesn't like being put in his crib for five minutes while I go to the toilet. DH tries too take him to give me a break but he rarely settles if I'm not at least in the room. It's a bit tiring but it won't be forever and I know later down the track I'll look back to when he only wanted his mummy and miss it

At the moment, about an hour an evening (life admin - last night I did the weekly shop online- or spending some time with DH), plus a couple of hours first thing in the morning on a Saturday (sleep).

30 minutes each evening. Friday's, but that's spent catching up on chores.

Zero- 10 mins a day if I’m lucky. I work full time 40 hours a week, do all the shopping and cleaning and cooking.
Sort out DC (3) and do nursery runs, tidy up after DSS (16).
10 mins if I’m lucky between getting home from work, taking my coat off and then getting back up again to get DC from nursey

I have a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 4 month old, I currently get 15/20 minutes a day when I have a shower and that’s about it!!! Well and when the baby naps but that’s spent cleaning or cooking mainly, I do have time for a cuppa but it’s not time I can use to do whatever I want if you know what I mean.

My oh is a farmer so has to work 7 days a week (just mornings at the melment on weekends) so neither of us really get ‘me’ time!

Single with a 13 week DD.
My sister takes her out for an hour every Sunday which I really appreciate as it means I can catch up on some sleep or tidy.
Two or three nights a week I’ll walk my parents’ dog and they’ll have DD for an hour.

I have a four year old and a 3 month old and a husband who works full time. I get half an hour every other day in the week when I get in the bath...weekends I get some time if baby is not actually feeding (breastfeeding, doesn't like a bottle yet) and I use that to have a longer bath, lie down with a book, spend some time with my older son on his own or actually talk to my husband!

When older one is at school I use any down time with the baby to do housework but I do find that therapeutic tbh. Long breastfeeding sessions can be relaxing if my older one is being cared for by someone else and we don't have to be interrupted.

My baby does sleep really well so could potentially have time in the evenings but I'm at too tired and go to sleep when he does.

I work full time. My kids are older though. I use my lunch hour to surf the net or I can come home for lunch which I like as I can spend time on my own in the house.

I've started putting my phone away in the evening meaning I can concentrate on watching tv or reading.

I guess it depends if by me time you mean time actually away from your children being alone (or doing an activity) or headspace at home. Try and squeeze any time away from the kids - put your favourite radio station on, get a quick coffee, phone a friend (handsfree) from the car.

None not even sleep as I'm usually attached to a breastfeeding 1 year old. I occasionally lock the door when I get a bath so they can't come in and take an epic sized poo while I'm in there (we do have a second toilet they just prefer to talk to me while they do it!)

Loads, because it is absolutely vital. I work theee days a week so use one day off to do housework and the other to do stuff I want. DH is home by teatime so he does bedtime for the youngest four or five nights a week while I potter. I walk with the dogs to school in the morning and then take a slow route home with them which is lovely.

DH did complain a while ago that he felt he didn’t get enough time for himself, so we tabled it out. He actually does. Two evenings a week (3hrs) at martial arts, one evening a fortnight usually gigging, and then at least an hour a day of music and often an hour in the gym. He was surprised. I think a lot of men have the same but expect more, whereas women (yes I’m wildly generalising) think they should be happy with ten minutes a day. Don’t be. Carve it out.

Spoke to soon had to give up my swimming membership

DH gets hardly any time either tbh, which creates a problem because if I carve it out for myself I feel like I'm being selfish

Technically I get 2.5 days while DC are at school and 2 days when DH is at work (although more usually 1 day as he chooses to wfh one of "my" days, but that's a different thread!!). However, I am doing a university course so most of the time is taken up by that. It is useful to be able to food shop sans DC and I usually go for a run / swim as well. I know I'm lucky!

I have two DC (one at school and one at nursery two days a week), DH who works long hours but more than pulls his weight at home too and a PT job of 15 hours or so a week working from home.

I can get some work done of an evening but usually get at least an hour with DH (mostly we eat dinner and watch Netflix) every night. Do exercise most days while the kids are eating breakfast. Get a break for an hour on Saturday and Sunday while youngest naps (to be fair I wouldn't want more because it's nice having family time) and then I have one weekday a week that is pretty much mine from school drop off to pick up. I try and keep it free of anything but urgent work and often MIL and will go out together and have lunch or whatever. I'm training to be a yoga teacher so I do that too. I guess technically it's work but it feels fun.

Hmmmm, I carve out time for myself at the expense of sleep I guess ie I will spend an hour during the day, when DS2 is at school to do my sport (run, swim, bike), which means house stuff gets shunted to when DS2 is in bed, which shunts my bed time and then I have to read.

I am a lone parent, working full time from home, so I do have quite a bit of flexibility.

DS2 is 9 so does have play dates, parties and stuff so I get bonus me time sometimes and I do try to make sure I shunt things around so I do things I can't do with him home (like sport).

I was finding though that in order to have some time after he's gone to bed I was trying to get all the house stuff done between finishing work and him going to bed, which ended up in me and him not spending time together. Now I work things so that I'm mainly in the kitchen (tidying, admin) when he's in bed so I can listen to the radio, which is nice.

I work 3 days a week so school hours on my days off is used for me time. I spend about half of it doing chores for either me on my mum but I usually get 6 hours where I do nothing . I use it for sitting about doing nothing and being by myself having quiet time.
I have RA and I need this time to stop and recharge so I feel no guilt about taking it.

I get about 45 minutes on a Monday, straight after work where I do the food shopping in peace, does that count?! I also get about 6 hours once every few months when DH takes the girls to his parents. Sometimes I go with them though so could be 6 months before I get that time.

We get an hour or so on a Sunday where our children stay at their grandparents. We spend the afternoon there and then leave around 5:30-6pm so we count that as free time before we'd have normally put them to bed iyswim? That is spent putting laundry away, cooking tea etc so by the time I flop on the sofa, they'd have been in bed anyway though so again, not sure if that counts?

Sometimes I want to pull my hair out where I feel like a headless chicken. But more often than not, I remind myself that I will have years where I can do what I want, and that this phase of our lives will be fleeting and I'll no doubt crave it when they're grown up. I've warned DH that I will be getting cats/dogs or some other wonderful creature to cherish and keep me busy when the kids are older!

Maybe an hour of an evening, I slump and watch tv then go to bed!

DS is only 11months, so a lot of dedicated time to him, I have 3 jobs (one of which is self employed so a lot of my 'me time' is promoting my work on social media) and I'm 6 months pregnant, too. So if I'm not working (working on social media too) taking care of DS, going to appointments, sleeping or cleaning... I'm pretty much doing absolutely fuck all, don't have a lot of time for that, though.

It's interesting how the bar changes as the children get older.

I remember the pure bliss of an uninterrupted shower, but with my younger son now 9, I usually get to shower in peace, though I am still 'on duty' if you know what I mean.

It is so much easier when the kids are at school but as they get older they are around a lot more in the evening so that time goes.

2 mornings a week while all kids are at school but I tend to spend those doing house work or other jobs that need doing. My evenings after the kids are in bed are usually spent doing paperwork for my job.

I have decided this year I need to change to make things feel less stressful so I might start going to get my nails done every other week and I’m looking for something to do in the evenings to stop me working - maybe cross stitch