To ask what you do if your child is invited on a day out with a friend

[GunpowderGelatine]

Say your child's friend invites them to a day out at a theme park, for example. Do you send money for their entry ticket and food or do inviting parents pay?

There is no real life scenario BTW my kids are a bit young to be going somewhere with non-family but I'm interested in people approach should I ever need to consider it

I’d say to the parents what do I owe you and let me know what she needs for lunch. Just ask them beforehand and they prob say oh no this is on us or they’ll say it’s £20 or whatever.

Send with money to cover entry and expenses, and let the other parent know.

If they come back with the money, then reciprocate another time.

I don’t expect money if I’m taking DDs friends out.

I think it depends - so yes to asking

DDs friend pays if she invites and then expects the same treatment when we invite
DDs other friends mom always send the money - so we do the same

So ask

You check in advance because these situations vary. Often an expensive trip is for a birthday treat or similar in which case the inviting parents would usually pay.

But it’s not written in stone and there are frequent threads on here about situations which are basic miscommunications about who will pay for what. So be clear if you are inviting and ask if invited.

However, even if they are paying you donsend some money along for extras and consider a bottle of wine. After a theme park the parent will need it.

Offer to pay.
Ask if packed lunch is needed.
Send money for snacks/extras.

If can't afford it then say to parents, 'sorry, we can't afford it'.
Then they will either say 'our treat' or 'sorry, another time maybe'.

If offering, make it clear whether you are expecting to treat.
'Would X like to come to theme park? Our treat'
'Would X like to come to theme park, it will be £20 entrance and we'll sort lunches'

I would expect to pay if inviting another child out. Normally take it in turns but wouldn't expect other family to need to spend anything on their turn, playdate at their house is great. I would offer money if my child was going to a non birthday party event and give them spending money, don't know anyone who would accept money though.

Send money with your child and tell the other parent they have money. It’s up to them if they take it or not. Check at the end of the day if you owe any more.

If I do the inviting I’m pretty relaxed about whether they pay or not. I tend to assume I’m paying but will accept money if it’s offered.

I don’t think there’s any hard or fast rule, but you might find people who impose one IYSWIM.

I've only ever had that for the friend's birthday, so his parents paid, in your situation I'd offer to pay and give them a packed lunch.

I would fully expect to pay for the ticket and ask if they are planning on taking a packed lunch or buying and provide food/money.
If my kids know the family well enough to spend the day alone with them I would know them well enough to talk about the details.
If they didn't want a me to pay/contribution I would spend money for ice creams for everyone.

It depends on the scenario. If in doubt offer to pay is my mantra.

When I have another child for the day I chose what to do so pay for that child. Give it food, drinks and ice creams along with mine.
My DD7 has a day with another family and I don’t send money - some will just go to the park or beach , some go out and do more costly things. They keep her fed and pay for her as their own children.
If it was for a particular thing , maybe It would be good to give the ticket price .

I think always offer!

Say to the inviting parents when accepting “X is so looking forward to the day-how much do I owe you?”

Ask them - can I give you the entrance money? Spending money? Should I send a packed lunch? Wellies? I just do it as part of the checklist. Usually the parents never accept the cash but one friend who looks after my dc a lot I give her £20

Ask the parent how much you owe them for the ticket and give them money for lunch etc

I always pay if taking my DD's friend out. If she gets invited out I would always ask and offer to pay xx

I check. This actually happened with DS1 not that long ago - but the friend's mum was aiming to pay for both boys to go. I sent food and pocket money for DS1 (he's 10) but she paid entry and for an ice cream for them both.

I would never assume in either direction - much easier just to ask!

I always offer to pay entry and ask if they need a lunch, offers are never usually accepted.

If doing the inviting we cover all costs including lunch. I don't think it's fair to issue an invite and then put any costs associated with that onto the guest.

I always offer. I've never been taken up on it though!

I offer to pay entry and ask whether I should send money for lunch or send a packed lunch. Generally the other parent then politely refuses.

Ask in advance - as other posters have described. If they so it is their treat, send child with a tenner and tell the parents you have given the child £10 should they need it. If I invite dd7s friends along, I always pay. Most of the parents I know do too. But they always send the 'emergency £10' and it always goes back home with the child.

There's the vague and not clearly defined point where things change from them going to 'proper' birthday parties when they are littler and of course all of that is provided by and paid for by the birthday child's parents (typically) and then all of a sudden it's them meeting up with their friends on the basis of "It's Sarah's birthday and everyone's going to Nando's" - and unless you're minted you can't pay for six meals at Nando's so unless explicitly stated, everyone is expected to pay if their child wants to go. Presents become a fair bit less important and are generally only given between kids who are particularly friends with that person and they tend to drive that themselves. There'll be some mixed arrangements for buses / different parents dropping / picking up their own children / to / from the venue that you'll undoubtedly get roped into.

Recently I bought two tickets to a high wires experience and said to my DS who do you want to take with you and obviously I paid for it and drove them there and back, bought them a drink and an ice cream - but I made that explicit when I asked DS who he wanted to come so he could relay that to his mate so there was no confusion.

I’d offer but be surprised if was accepted. We’ve always paid for friends who have been with us.
If it’s just the children arranging to go somewhere together they tend to pay for themselves.
On holiday where we’ve stopped children (so each family’s child gets two holidays rather than one in the summer) we pay when we’re hosting.
If it’s a holiday offer that we can’t reciprocate, we always sent a dowry to pay for ice creams, a tickets for a day out, a meal or similar along with a few bottles.

The thing to work out and that can ruin a day is not the entry fee, lunch and an ice-cream but differing views over the extra costs and tat.

Mine were allowed one extra paid thing and had had it rammed into them that £3 for hook a something crap etc was a complete waste. Hell was the child with £20 spending money. Say no to her and she was bratty. Say yes she could and the others felt left out. Go the hog and burn £40 on the other two to save the day. Worst day out ever.

On the morning of the trip I’d say something like - DS has £x in his pocket to cover his entrance fee and lunch/spending money.

On any day trips we’ve done, usually the host family will cover the entrance fee and lunch, then the kids use their own money to buy sweets/stuff from the gift shop etc.