I'm really hoping for some constructive advice because I'm not sure where to turn.
My husband and I have been together 4.5 years ..married for 2.
His first anger burst came out of the blue a few months after moving in together.
The result was him picking me up by my neck and throwing me.
Since then (and I still married him...my bad!) There have been several similar incidents.
A week ago I was being sick (I had a bug) and missed the toilet. Resulting in him screaming at me and grabbing my throat.
He then smashed and broke a door.
Tonight we went out and we had a few drinks .. I said something he didn't like and he threw his drink over me.
So. . Why do I stay?
I do love him.
But I don't feel I have a choice anyway.
Because ... I have cancer.
I was dx at 34.. came back a few years later. .double mastectomy etc and hard years ahead with recon and trying to get on with life.
This was 10 years ago.. before I met him.
I was straight from the off.. told him all. That it might come back and might not be cureable.
After numerous tests, I was told on Monday it had spread to my bones.
He came with me ..fair play .. but I haven't seen much of him (he has 2 children .. 18 and 19 that live here half the week and he dotes on them when they are here) since that day or even talked about it much.
I start chemo tablets in a couple of days along with other side effect from other drugs.. I'm not going to be well.
I'm very fortunate that I work from home.
But I'm self employed. So I've not taken time off other than for tests etc, so far.
OH has been having counseling for his anger which is a monthly phone call.
Although clearly...it isn't helping much.
My family live all over the country.
This is very much a behind closed doors issue.
I'm trying to figure out how to live in the few years I have left.
Leaving is absolutely not an option for many reasons .. but more importantly I will need someone to care for me at some point. And I do love him. That's the reality and he's all I have.
I'm hoping noone else is in this situation.. but any advice how to get through this .. would be appreciated. My head is spinning and I do want to live as best I can.
Thank you