AIBU do you ever look up people of Facebook?

[Justagirlwholovesaboy]

Not in an abusive way. But do you ever search for people who bullied you? Just to see if they are now no happier for it?

I look people up all the time. I wasn't ever bullied though. It's just people I knew mostly.

I do know people now who I would have considered bullies in HS, and I can't say they are any worse off than anyone else. 🤷

Maybe just casually observe then?

I don't know. I think if you're looking people up to see if there's been some sort of karmic comeuppance, you may be disappointed.

Not karma, but maybe a little satisfying when you get to see people aren’t the perfection they projected. Its also not their fault, but bullying hurts and each generation needs to understand this, even when we forgive the last

Not bullies, no, but Exes for sure.

I honestly can’t even remember the names or faces of the people who bullied me.

I'm not a facebook member but I do sometimes look people up if they cross my mind and I wonder if they are still around, what they're doing etc. Don't always find them of course but occasionally I do & it's been interesting. I don't intrude though, I wouldn't like anyone doing that with me.

Yes, I looked up my former school bullies.

One now owns a successful business and still seems to have an elevated opinion of herself.

The other is a yummy mummy who likes to lunch.

I don't think looking them up did me any good, if anything it reopened old wounds and made me feel resentful. It's amazing how long that hurt and anger can linger.

Yep exes are also a common Facebook stalk, do you ever drunk mesenger one?

I wouldn't because I'm not interested in what they're doing. But if you do it, remember that they're not going to have anything negative on their Facebook page anyway. So you'll quite possibly get a false impression anyway.

Your bully might still be a nasty piece of work (I know the girl who bullied me at school still is), or might have changed. They might be super successful career wise (mine is) but that doesn't mean they're happy. Similarly if you look them up and see that they work doing something that you don't fancy, or is poorly paid, it doesn't mean they're unhappy or have failed in any way (unless you judge people by their salary).

Don't do it to yourself, no good can come of it. Be kind to yourself.

Gosh, no, I’d never message one. I had an Ex send me a friend request. I thought it was ok as from his profile picture he seemed happily in a relationship, but after I accepted his request it turned out they had recently split up. He then started sending me links to songs on YouTube by messenger like U2 With or without you. He then started sexting me, so I blocked him. Creep!

To be honest, Facebook isn’t exactly an accurate view into people’s lives. They may appear happy and well-off, but might actually miserable.

Only friends and ex's, but I don't have a fb profile.

She terrorized me every day, after school in the 6th grade for one year. She'd put her arm around me (she was about a foot taller than me) and pretend we were friends on the playground sharing secrets, so the teachers wouldn't suspect anything, all the while she'd whisper into my ear you're ass is grass after school

I was only 10. I used to run as fast as I could home so I wouldn't get my ass beat. I was approx. 4'1 and weighed about 50-60 pounds, she was approx. 5'0 and she weighed over 160. The first day she bullied me, was the first day my panic attacks started, at 10 years old. I felt like I was having a heart attack.

So, yes, I looked her up, and to my great amusement and satisfaction found out she never left the small podunk town we lived in. To make things even better, she works at a gas station in a really bad part of town. She looked miserable, let herself go and remains single. She thought she was going to marry rich and be famous one day.

Karma is most definitely sweet and I will never regret feeling happy that she got her just desserts. Not always, but for the most part in life, you get out, what you put in, and all that girl put in, was hatred and malice.

As for me, I am loved and I love, and my life is beautiful. And, I will never be so terrorized and bullied that I will be forced to run home crying again.

I'll probably get flamed but yeah. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to see the girls who picked on me and who thought they were superior to everyone now have faces that resemble leather sofas and haven't done much with their lives.

I look up people on social media all the time, mainly old friends and colleagues to see what they're up to nowadays. Always super boring stuff, nobody's become anything interesting including me!! Only one ex-colleague is now a successful business owner, she was always a driven person with a clear plan so it's not a huge surprise but it's inspiring definitely.

Not on FB, on Friends Reunited, I found the woman who had bullied me when we were young teens. I contacted her, and after a preliminary polite exchange I am afraid I told her how her actions had affected my life and that I still carried the physical scars where she had dug her finger nails into my hand and a blue 'tattoo' where she had stuck an ink pen nib into my arm (who ever thought an ink pen could be a weapon?) She thought it was hilarious and offered no apology, even thirty years later. I moved on. I hope she has since thought about it and feels a tiny bit of remorse, but I doubt it.

I wanted to look up my ex’s wife but accidentally just put her name as my status last night

Interestingly when i see ‘mutual friends’ on fb who were the school bullies/‘bad’ kids there’s a lot of photo statuses which go on about karma and being yourself.
I’m guessing that most of them aren’t now fully self aware and practising a life of peace and forgiveness, but have just found a way to express their feelings of injustice that they’re no longer able to be a big fish in a small pond.

Hmmm. I've moved back to the town and "let myself go" does that mean others are gloating avout me? (Wasnt a bully though, far from it.)

I think looking up bullies/ex friends on social media is pretty unhealthy, I used to do it and feel much better since I stopped social media altogether. Because I don't really give a shit what they are doing or what their lives are like good or bad, I'm just glad they aren't in my life affecting me negatively anymore.

I wanted to look up my ex’s wife but accidentally just put her name as my status last night

horribly embarrassing but so funny! Hopefully if you deleted straight away, no one will have had time to see. Just breeze it out!

Nope. Never. I learnt a long time ago (through someone else's experience, not my own) that no good can come of it.

I'd also never drunk messenger an ex. I've been on the receiving end and just think, "what a dick" an ignore.

I have no interest in the lives of people whose lives I have no interest in.

Oh, and someone who didn't bully me but didn't treat me very well at school died last year. I was invited to their funeral as there had been a point when we were very close friends. I didn't go but I felt very sad for the friends and family she left behind.

There is no joy to be found in the misery of others.

I have done but not for a long time. Then fact is, is that it brings nothing but old resentments to the fore and causes me to dwell on sad things that I cannot change.
I have put effort into making my own life as healthy and fulfilled as I can realistically expect and I find I am no longer interested in the cunts of the past.

I look up my boyfriends ex and I know she does the same to me..she accidentally sent me a friend request. Laughed my head off, she’s not as subtle as me 😂