Am I gay? Relationship problems.

[Sallyjunior]

Im a girl, I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years in may. We previously broke up in September for a few weeks and got back together but during that time I began to realise being single isn’t that bad and that I can be happy by myself. I enjoy her company and love to talk to her, but I just feel like I’m not in love with her anymore, our relationship before was really toxic and I think the thought that she would cheat wanted me to stay more to see if she would do it. But now I don’t really care if she does. I told her I wanted a break maybe a week ago because I wanted to find out if I was bi or just lesbian because there’s this boy and I’ve been getting close with him and he’s so funny, I think he likes me and I kinda like him too. But I don’t want to go out with him because I want my now ex girlfriend to know if I’m coming back or not. I don’t want to be playing her or making her wait around I just feel like I need to experiment and experience new things before I settle down and I’m not sure if she’s the one I want to settle down with. I feel like I’m too young to think of that (I’m 20, she’s 19). But I like this boy, I don’t want to go out with him I just want to flirt around with him. I don’t know how to tell her I kissed him or how to tell her I might not want what me and her had without hurting her feelings, I know I sound so selfish, but it’s how I feel and idk what to do.

Bisexual?

At your age I think it's important to experiment with your sexuality without being tied down. If you're not in love with your girlfriend then it's time to call it a day and spend some time being single and enjoying yourself. Good luck!

I really think the sex of anyone doesn’t matter here: you’re thinking about cheating on your partner and your relationship isn’t working - walk away and snog whomever.

You're young. Dump the girlfriend and flirt with the boy (or snog the boy, or get down and dirty with the boy).

I don't think labels really matter anymore. I have had both male and female partners, I don't call myself bisexual though (because no one ever asks, and if they did it's none of their business. If I was really pushed for a label I'd call myself an equal opportunities lover).

You do need to dump the girlfriend though, cheating isn't fair and you'll end up doing more damage in the long run if you don't.

Good luck!

You're very young... experiment, find out who you are.

I also think your sexual orientation is not that important. You are with a person you don’t seem to love or fancy, you have found someone else you fancy, break up with your partner before you cheat.

it's really important not to commit yourself too young. the human brain doesn't finish growing until the age of 25ish. you aren't the same person now that you were 2 years ago and in 2 years time who knows how you'll feel. it is completely OK to step away from the exGF and dove into this potential new opportunity.

relationships between women tend to accelerate towards commitment very fast. often too fast. in future whether with a man or a woman take things deliberately more slowly. Get to know yourself as well as the people you date and in a decade or so you will know much more clearly who you are and what yoihope for in a life partner.

there is plenty of time. it is OK to not yet know who you are and who you want to be with for the rest of your life.

The first step is to consider your existing relationship. If it isn't working then end it. After that you can consider what you want to do, and who to do it with.

I agree with PPs, your sexuality is a different issue to what to do with your current relationship.

You've said it's been toxic in the past, you're not in love with her any more and your eye is roving! There's no reason to continue this relationship.

You're young, get out there and enjoy life!