AIBU... To feel like he's picked a drone over me?

[MummaBear120613]

I've been with my partner for around 4 and a half years now. He's been saying non-stop for the past two years how much he loves me and wants to marry me but yet he never pops the question. I've made it clear so many times that I don't care about the fancy proposal or a big expensive ring, I just want him.

He always claims that he 'doesn't have the money' to propose and that he wants to do it in the 'right way' I appreciate wholeheartedly that those are his wishes and that I need to respect them, however earlier this week he came home with a drone that has cost him just shy of £2,000.

So he tells me he has no money but can afford a £2k drone. I don't know, maybe I've over reacting but I'm devastated. It feels like he's picked this drone over me (I'm aware of how pathetic that sounds).

AIBU to be pissed that he's bought this drone? He's been saying for years he wants to get married yet always makes excuses not to, I feel like this is just another excuse not to propose.

As stupid as it sounds, I'm genuinely devastated right now. I love him so so much but I don't want to be strung along for the rest of my life on the false promise of a proposal for nothing to happen.

He doesn’t want to marry you. Plus, he’s a manboy with his expensive toy and that clearly matters far far more to him than the idea of a future with you.

Move on.

You aren't his priority.
As long as he thinks HE is why would you want to marry him anyway?
Exh spent ££££ on golf stuff. Constant reminders of my place.
Exh...
I would call it a day op.

Dump this manchild!
Oh and you are perfectly justified in feeling how you do, so YANBU.

YANBU

But I'm not sure why it all has to be 'his way'.

If you want to get engaged and if he's seriously does too, then just buy a ring and get on with it.

That's what we did. We chose a secondhand ring that cost about £180 and got engaged one Christmas Eve.

There's really no need for a 'big proposal' or expensive ring, especially if those are the things actively preventing you from doing it.

Dh has never really wanted anything like that but if he went and spent £2k on a toy without discussing first I would be mightly pissed. I probably wouldn't say no unless it was going to be detrimental to us a couple.

However re the ring. We combined money to buy all my rings, we got married and that was for richer for poorer... not to make him poorer so I could have something shiny.

Without knowing the ins and outs of your relationship my gut feeling is that there is a reason he doesn't want to get married... or he just doesn't get it.

My friend has a dh that spends money on crap without consulting. It's a big bone of contention in their marriage

Have you told him how upset you are? How did he react? I think it’s make or break time.

Or he doesn't want to get married right now and feels pressured so makes up excuses

This idea of a big romantic proposal can be toxic if he's not that into you because it keeps you hanging around hoping. I was never that bothered about it and just had a chat with my partner about whether and when we were going to get married. We agreed on when (18 months time) then told our families and started planning. I think you need to have it out with him and say unless you set a date (with or without a proposal) within the next 3 months you are leaving.