DS classed as overweight!

[Blondie1993]

I read a thread on here earlier about BMI in children. I have felt that DS (7) has been looking like he has a bit of a belly recently (family/friends have looked at me like I'm crazy when I've mentioned it) so decided to check his weight and height today. He's overweight! He has just turned 7, he is 4ft 4.8 inches tall and weighs 5 stone 4.1lbs. This is using one of the machines in Boots. It puts him on the 95th centile according to the NHS website!

His dad and I share care 60/40. At mine I am fairly strict with healthy eating but will try and change a few things - thought cutting to semi skimmed milk and maybe brown instead of white pasta? He only gets milk/water to drink, veg with every meal, fruit for snacks, weetabix for breakfast - the only treat he gets from me is dessert after Sunday dinner. Is there anything else I can do? It sound daft but I am 5ft 8 and 9 and a half stone - I'm naturally slim, I've never even had to think about what I'm eating in terms of weight!

I'm not sure if I should perhaps make a doctors appointment or if this would be a waste of time. I'm not convinced me telling his dads side of the family that they have to be careful with what they are feeding him is going to go down well ...

Portion size might need looking at. Is he always this size or has he filled out a bit? DD always looks a bit rounder before a growth spurt.
Brown bread/white bread probably have similar calories - but brown has more fibre.

It could well be that he's just due a growth spurt. One thing I definitely wouldn't do is switch to low fat / semi skimmed products, nor necessarily a must to swap to brown pasta not white etc. Children need fats and carbohydrates, I definitely wouldn't be doing that.

How are your portion sizes? Is he naturally hungry and eats til the plate is empty, or is he aware of his limits etc? Tbh I'd focus on exercise more - what exercise does he do?

I'd also look at how dad is. Is he feeding him crap constantly, as from a health POV it isn't great?

I wouldn't be focusing on the weight side of things and definitely not mention to him, but I'd be focusing more on health. More (fun) exercise, make it something he loves - does he really enjoy any particular activity eg swimming? Make it incidental too - walk places if possible, if you have a dog take him along with you on walks etc, limit screen time. He could well be due a growth spurt so I wouldn't look at reducing his food , just keep an eye on things and make healthier changes. Whatever you do, don't mention it to him and don't switch to low fat products

What does an average days food look like?

Switching the milk is a good idea. At 7 he could even have skimmed milk but switching to semi might be a good idea at first at least as I imagine skimmed would taste a bit watery when you’re used to whole milk. If he drinks a lot of milk it could be the issue. He doesn’t seem to eat unhealthy food from what you say so I would look up recommended portion sizes for various foods (often a lot smaller than you would expect for children and adults) and try and up exercise levels everyday by walking when you can, taking bikes out, trampolining etc. If you can get him into football that would be really good for him as ime teams train a couple of times a week and play at the weekend and it’s pretty hard going compared to for eg a half hour swimming class where they spend about 10 mins doing actual swimming.
If you can get his dad on board as well then all the better.

Don't get sucked into the growth spurt thing. Children can put on weight and have a growth spurt without registering as obese.
The answer us almost certainly dietry ie he's eating more calories than he needs but it may not be in your gift to solve it if the excess calories are happening when he's not in your care.

Have to disagree with the poster who has said that a 7yr old needs lots of fat. Very young children yes but while milk isn’t necessary for kids over 5 and the advice when mine were young was to cut it at 2 if a child was overweight on their bmi. Kids might be fine drinking whole occasionally but if it is a main drink like the op is saying it could be contributing to him being overweight.

That should say WHOLE milk isn’t necessary over the age of 5.

To be fair I think the answer perhaps lies with his dad - your diet sounds pretty healthy and provided it's all correct portion sizes and he does plenty of exercise, your side of things looks good. Difficult if dad won't listen though

When I was saying it could be a growth spurt, I didn't by any means to ignore it or leave it 😀 he's overweight not obese at the minute, but it's good you're aware and noticing. I just meant, please don't make his weight a 'thing' to your son, even if you don't mean to, kids pick up on it. Frame it as being healthier by all means but please don't make his weight a thing , even accidentally, he might well worth over it. It may be more a female thing as girls tend to mirror their mums who tend to diet, but I and lots of my friends have struggled with weight. All of us remember our mums dieting from early on, and when we got naturally hungrier and started eating more (and yes gaining some weight) at 11ish, it was made a fuss of. Not just in terms of exercise and health, but in terms of losing weight. I wasn't fat - was 7 stone at age 14 and working out like mad to stay that way- and I know part of that was down to being given slimfast shakes age 9 and told age 10 pasta was bad. I'm not saying you do these things and I do know there's a big gap between semi skimmed milk and slimfast shakes

Whatever you do, make it behind the scenes - even if you're worried, don't show your son. If you gave to say something, frame it as being healthier and being strong, not as losing weight.

In terms of semi skimmed milk, I think it's about 2 percent less fat than the normal stuff, I think? So not much of a difference at all, of course you could well swap it's up to you, but from what I remember , children under about 8 aren't recommended to have Low fat stuff or high fibre diets. In fact we as adults aren't meant to have low fat stuff - evidence has shown full fat yogurt, cheese and butter is better than their counterparts and low fat diets are generally accepted as an outdated ideal- but of course losing an ingrained mindset is difficult.

I really really hope things go well for you. I would say try and sit down with your ex and explain things. Surely he could see why being fed crap is bad for your son and ultimately will damage his health?

Hmm that does sound fairly heavy - for context, my dd (7) weighs 3 stone and my ds (10) weighs just under 5 stone. I wonder if you can discuss your concerns with his dad, I know you say it won't go down well, but it is worth a go surely? Otherwise, increase his exercise in fun ways and just be very careful with portion size when he is with you and hopefully it will even itself out. You don't need him to lose weight, but if he didn't gain any for the next while it would probably really benefit him.

Making easy swaps like milk is best way to start. Also cutting cereal amounts and giving some fruit instead to bulk it up.

Yogurts can be a hidden form of sugar - most kids pots have about 12g of sugar which is half day sugar allowance.

You can keep meal sizes the same just cut down potatoes and meat up and the veg (or hide veg in Bolognese etc).

I'd up fun exercise if he's not that active each day.

Thanks for the replies.

He usually gets one Weetabix in the morning with full fat milk. He had the option to have more but he chooses not to. He usually opts for a glass of water at breakfast too. Sometimes he will have porridge or a boiled egg with toast at the weekend.

He gets a small Tupperware of cucumber, sometimes baby tomatoes and a tangerine/apple/banana for snack at school. He has school lunches - god knows what they are, he can never remember to tell me. When he does it things like beans and toast. He did get healthier packed lunches before but he wasn't eating them as just wanted to go and play. He also takes a bottle of water to school.

He goes to the childminders after school and will have a snack or fruit there. She is a great childminder and I trust she's not filling him up with crap. Usually she will say if they have had a special treat.

Dinners for the next few nights are spaghetti and meatballs cooked in pasatta with basil and oregano (usually 6 meatballs) with some salad, homemade lentil soup with two slices of brown bread, salmon with mashed potatoes and carrots and broccoli. Lunch at weekends with me would be sandwiches with fruit, tomato, cucumber or carrot sticks and maybe a yoghurt.

He has been going to swimming lessons for around a year on a Saturday morning and loves swimming. I absolutely hate it but will start trying to take him before/after his lessons or on a Friday evening. He has just started playing basketball on a Tuesday evening (this week coming will be his third week). He loves it, it's two hours long and he comes out dripping in sweat so hopefully that will help. Gym in school is an hour twice a week. He goes to the park with the childminder after school regularly (weather dependent). We usually go a dog walk twice together at the weekend and DS usually goes on his scooter. The walk is around a mile round the loch then he plays in the park for an hour or so but I can probably quite easily make it a bigger walk.

He loves trampolining and there's a really good place near us so will start trying to go there every few weeks. Hopefully if I increase our walks and swimming it will make a difference. It's quite difficult to do things in the evening on a school night as we don't get home to about 6ish but could swap movie night on a Friday to swimming night!

I did send his dad a general message about it just saying we should probably keep an eye on it but I just have a feeling it's not going to go down very well. I could be wrong though - hopefully I am!

I definitely won't say anything to DS, I'll just try and tweak a few things, up his exercise and try and make sure everyone is on board from his dad's side of the family! Thanks a lot for all the advice.

He sounds pretty active so I’d say it’s probably the milk and portion size you need to look at. Look at weights for pasta etc. I think 6 meatballs (unless they’re tiny) for eg would probably be significantly more than a child recommended portion of meat.
Is there a chance his dad is letting him have loads of unhealthy stuff?

He sounds really active so that's good 😀 things like making the walk longer and going swimming before his class might really help! Keep Friday movie night for now but when the evenings get a bit lighter maybe go on more walks or similar. The trampoline sounds good too. It sounds like he enjoys the exercise which is great 😀 and definitely a positive thing

His diet sounds good too. From what you've said he eats healthily and drinks water not sugary drinks etc, or at least with you. I really think it's perhaps not you and possibly his dad instead. Have a look at portion sizes (I too think 6 meatballs is a big portion, but then if you've given him 3 for eg and he's asked for more afterwards, then it's better he does that than snack later). Maybe try reducing portions? Eg weigh the pasta, bulk sauces out with lots of veg, put say 2l3 meatballs on not 6. If he asks for seconds then find, but could it be that he's eating because it's there and if he had to ask for it he wouldn't bother?

From the sounds of it, his dad could be problematic. Perhaps fib a bit - say the GP done a check up and he's overweight and they said it can cause serious health problems. That it isn't a big problem as yet, but you've been told you need to get a hang of it now and nip it in the bud. You've been told To do X, y, X. You're sure he doesn't want his son to become unhappy or unwell so why doesn't he try X, y, X? Not sure that'll work but worth a go.

Does ds tell you what he eats at dads?

Portion size is likely to be the problem at yours. My daughter is the same age and would only be served 2 meatballs. She dances 5 nights a week so is also very active. Other than that it sounds as though the food you give him is healthy so it’s also worth looking into what his dad gives him.

If he is asking for seconds I’d give unlimited vegetables or salad rather than an extra portion of the meal.

private 3st at 7 sounds underweight unless very short!
Portion size and exercise is key, I wouldn’t swap from full fat either as long as it’s good fats.

NHS website is good for measuring portions for children. Use smaller plates and maybe stop the snacks to once a day.

I also agree with people who are saying not to make an issue of it with him though.
If you only make enough for 1 portion for everyone with extra veg and a big salad then that’s all there will be for seconds.

Portion size is a big one. Most people, including myself, are guilty of filling the plate when it’s not necessary.

It is worth mentioning to dad, perhaps something along the lines of the teacher, or GP, or school nurse have suggested we make some small changes to DS diet...

Also watch out for hidden calories in drinks, it’s easy to forget how much is in milkshakes, fizzy pop and so on.

Also 2 slices of bread with soup is an adults portion, one slice, more soup and veg sticks is better. HV once told me that even a bag of crisps should be half as full packet is what an adult would have.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/

suggests that he's around the 70th centile for BMI and is a healthy weight with that height and weight with a 7th birthday today.

It depends on the child tbh. My ds is coming 12 he's 4'11 and is 55kg. To look at him he's not fat in his boxers he's not fat, however he's very muscular and stocky.

He doesn’t seem to eat that much (unless his dinner portion as are huge). My four year old eats more than him by the sounds of it. I would imagine it’s either fat build up before a growth spurt or food that he is eating st his father’s. Don’t change the milk. Whole milk is healthier.

My eight year old is 3.5 stone, so I can't see that 3 stone at 7 is underweight?

OP, his diet sounds great, so maybe it is portion sizes as others have said. I wish mine would eat such a great variety.

I've attached a photo of the meatballs we usually get. What a hoot I am, taking photos of meatballs to post on mumsnet on a Saturday night ! 6 probably is a lot now I think of it - I eat 6 myself. I possibly do put quite a bit on his plate - he does know he doesn't have to eat it all though. Sometimes he will leave some of his food, other times he will ask for more. I will go down the route of more veg/salad if he is still hungry. Usually if he is hungry after dinner he will have fruit.

In terms of weighing pasta etc is there a sort of general guide as to how much pasta he should have? I just chuck a load in the pot usually.

I do think it's quite a real possibility he is having rubbish at his dads. He also spends quite a bit of time with his grandparents on his dad's side as they do pick ups/drop offs when his dad is busy with work. I think there is possibly quite a bit of freezer food and takeaways but without me fully quizzing DS or his dad I don't really know. I'll give it a few days and if he's not really got back to me I'll give him a call. We usually co parent pretty well but I just don't think they will see that he is overweight, I don't think they will see the potential issue. It probably doesn't help that his side of the family have struggled with their weight on/off whereas I am pretty skinny (through no fault/effort of my own!) so they might think I have a warped view of it all. The numbers don't lie though!

@brizzledrizzle - I just checked again using that link and it's definitely got him as overweight and on the 95th centile unless I'm doing something wrong? Sorry about any spelling errors, using my phone!

Yes 6 of those is too much for a child, and they should have 40g of pasta x